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sid_guardian2021-07-09 11:19 am
marycrawford) wrote in sid_guardian2021-07-09 11:19 am
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Focus On: Shen Wei tucking Zhao Yunlan into bed and dealing with his disaster apartment, ep 8
The scene that leads up to this is the Taxi Scene, beautifully covered by melinoel616.
Location of the scene: episode 8, starting at 25:36. I'm choosing to treat this as a single scene, even though it's broken up by Zhu Jiu doing villain things in a forest.
Everything about episode 8's crucial relationship scenes is catnip to me. In fact, a description of what happens here -- starting with Shen Wei picking Zhao Yunlan off the curb and taking him home -- was held out to me as a carrot to get me to watch the show properly, instead of catching bits of it on Youtube and thinking that the professor was awful pretty. Needless to say, it worked a treat.
This post features Shen Wei's Microexpression Theatre and a special Zhao Yunlan 'I have an ow, but I don't need any help, but please notice I am suffering, but also I am FINE' Cocktail of Emotional Damage.
Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan enter the apartment with Zhao Yunlan's arm draped over Shen Wei's shoulders, and Shen Wei's arm around Zhao Yunlan's waist. Zhao Yunlan casually tosses his keys away without locking the door, and they head to the bed which is so conveniently placed in the middle of the living room.
There are some wine bottles by the bed, as well as slippers and I think a boxing glove.
Shen Wei lowers Zhao Yunlan to the mattress carefully and he curls up on the bed, boots and all, looking like he's hurting:
Meanwhile, Shen Wei starts to look around. I always wonder what goes through his mind on seeing Zhao Yunlan's disaster of an apartment. Shen Wei decorates with antiques and books; Zhao Yunlan decorates with robots, booze, and sports equipment. It's intimate, of course, seeing the place where Zhao Yunlan lives for the first time, but it's also a cluttered mess. And that, combined with the stomach pains, basically screams I don't take good care of myself.
Zhao Yunlan tells Shen Wei he doesn't know where his stomach medicine might be, "Try the fridge." Shen Wei opens it and rears back in disgust. I love this moment, and I love his reaction:
Instead of pinching his nostrils shut, he delicately places a forefinger across his nose. It's so elegantly disdainful, and reminiscent of older times: you can imagine him draping a sleeve of his ancient robe across the lower half of his face to shield himself from the horrors of Zhao Yunlan's fridge.
Shen Wei sternly asks "What do you usually eat?" Zhao Yunlan tells him "I ate hot pot two days ago. Yesterday I went boozing with friends," while Shen Wei stares at the date on a carton of something (milk?) with grave suspicion.
Shen Wei reacts to this helpful information with a tiny eyeroll and a longsuffering stare into the middle distance, which intensifies as Zhao Yunlan tells him he hasn't eaten at all today: he looks like he's questioning all his life choices and asking himself if this man could really be (have been, will become) Kunlun.
Then he turns around and pointedly says "No wonder you're suffering. You were asking for it." Zhao Yunlan doesn't react, just winces in pain.
Shen Wei gives a put-upon sigh that is a LOT, for him, drapes his finger over his nostrils again and delves into the fridge to find the medicine.
He returns to Zhao Yunlan, hands him the medicine and says "I'll get you some warm water". Zhao Yunlan responds: "Don't bother, I'll swallow them dry." There is a pause, then Shen Wei reacts by stepping forward and abruptly yanking the pill bottle away from Zhao Yunlan's grasp. We get a very close focus on their hands touching:
Zhao Yunlan looks up at him with a hint of his babyfaced, innocent 'What did I do?' expression.
And Shen Wei, who is still very much in Stern Annoyed Professor mode, glares down at him and turns away with another tiny eyeroll, his entire posture expressing Why Are You Like This and Why Do I Love You.
Of course, to get water, he has to enter the kitchen. Evidence suggests that Zhao Yunlan ate an orange and drank some booze (with Da Qing?) recently, otherwise it's just a mess, with one half of the sink full of dishes. Shen Wei grimly starts filling a kettle with water, looks around and sighs again.
We cut away to Zhu Jiu, and when we come back Shen Wei has taken off his suit coat and rolled up his sleeves to wash a glass. This shot is here purely for the sexy lighting on his hands and the focus on the Chain:
And this one is here to show that the sleeve garters are doing a great support acting job, showing off Shen Wei's biceps:
Shen Wei comes back with the pills and a glass of water. Zhao Yunlan is curled up tight on the bed, and Shen Wei says Zhao Yunlan's name twice to wake him up, then shakes his shoulder.
In response, Zhao Yunlan turns over, away from him, and Shen Wei's frown tightens as he looks down at him. I imagine at this point he's saying to himself ‘take your medicine you infuriating beautiful man, or must I force feed you your pills?' but he doesn't follow through.
So far the scene was without music, but here a delicate piano begins to play as Shen Wei kneels on the bed and begins to take off Zhao Yunlan's boots (fashion note: possibly these are Yeezy desert boots).
When he's done, he puts his hand on Zhao Yunlan's ankle and pulls the blanket over him, puts another cushion down by Zhao Yunlan's head, then tucks in the duvet a little more.
Then he starts folding Zhao Yunlan's clothes. We see it in closeup first, and then the camera pulls out to show us that Shen Wei is sitting at the foot of the bed. Every time he puts an item of clothing down, he gently smoothes it with his hands:
Then he's interrupted, and we see the Envoy side of him take over as the Regent's message arrives, exposing his identity as a 'senior official using the name of Shen Wei'.
Shen Wei checks to see that ZYL is still asleep, then erases the message and replaces it, and returns to his favorite hobby, staring at Zhao Yunlan asleep. Zhao Yunlan's face has smoothed out, he no longer looks like he's in pain, and the lighting here is chef's kiss:
Looking at him, Shen Wei's expression seems to settle into quiet satisfaction, as if he's saying to himself, Worth It.
And end scene!
What I love about this scene: I love Shen Wei coming in to take care of Zhao Yunlan's everything and also scold him a little bit. I love Zhao Yunlan's contradictory behavior as he seems to both invite caretaking and repel it.
I love the lighting, which makes them both look luminously beautiful. I love the caretaking and the touching.
I love the way this scene is infused with character from beginning to end, on both sides. It says so much about Zhao Yunlan that his apartment is a disaster, and that he is pretty much not interested when it comes to looking after himself. (And yes, Da Qing lives there too, but who could expect a cat to do any housework at all?)
Shen Wei's response is so telling, so different from later scenes where Zhao Yunlan blatantly asks his Service Dom to take care of him, and Shen Wei reacts with fond indulgence. Here, there's none of that: he is pissed and exasperated and his body language expresses that beautifully. But then, once Zhao Yunlan falls asleep, we see the sternness and disapproval give way to an aching tenderness.
We see it in the way he handles Zhao Yunlan as he tucks the duvet over him and removes his boots, as well as the careful way he deals with his clothes, and we see it in the intense look he gives Zhao Yunlan when he's done tidying. And we know that he will stay by Zhao Yunlan's side all night.
Questions:
Why do you think that Zhao Yunlan refuses to take his medicine?
Do you think this is the first time Shen Wei stayed all night by Zhao Yunlan (Kunlun)'s side?
If you know of any fanworks that feature this particular moment, please share. And of course I'd love to know what you think about this scene!
ETAchina_shop: "this scene prompted my first ever Guardian ficlet, A Watchful Eye".
Next week,trobadora will cover the Morning After.
melinoel616. Location of the scene: episode 8, starting at 25:36. I'm choosing to treat this as a single scene, even though it's broken up by Zhu Jiu doing villain things in a forest.
Everything about episode 8's crucial relationship scenes is catnip to me. In fact, a description of what happens here -- starting with Shen Wei picking Zhao Yunlan off the curb and taking him home -- was held out to me as a carrot to get me to watch the show properly, instead of catching bits of it on Youtube and thinking that the professor was awful pretty. Needless to say, it worked a treat.
This post features Shen Wei's Microexpression Theatre and a special Zhao Yunlan 'I have an ow, but I don't need any help, but please notice I am suffering, but also I am FINE' Cocktail of Emotional Damage.
Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan enter the apartment with Zhao Yunlan's arm draped over Shen Wei's shoulders, and Shen Wei's arm around Zhao Yunlan's waist. Zhao Yunlan casually tosses his keys away without locking the door, and they head to the bed which is so conveniently placed in the middle of the living room.
There are some wine bottles by the bed, as well as slippers and I think a boxing glove.
Shen Wei lowers Zhao Yunlan to the mattress carefully and he curls up on the bed, boots and all, looking like he's hurting:
Meanwhile, Shen Wei starts to look around. I always wonder what goes through his mind on seeing Zhao Yunlan's disaster of an apartment. Shen Wei decorates with antiques and books; Zhao Yunlan decorates with robots, booze, and sports equipment. It's intimate, of course, seeing the place where Zhao Yunlan lives for the first time, but it's also a cluttered mess. And that, combined with the stomach pains, basically screams I don't take good care of myself.
Zhao Yunlan tells Shen Wei he doesn't know where his stomach medicine might be, "Try the fridge." Shen Wei opens it and rears back in disgust. I love this moment, and I love his reaction:
Instead of pinching his nostrils shut, he delicately places a forefinger across his nose. It's so elegantly disdainful, and reminiscent of older times: you can imagine him draping a sleeve of his ancient robe across the lower half of his face to shield himself from the horrors of Zhao Yunlan's fridge.
Shen Wei sternly asks "What do you usually eat?" Zhao Yunlan tells him "I ate hot pot two days ago. Yesterday I went boozing with friends," while Shen Wei stares at the date on a carton of something (milk?) with grave suspicion.
Shen Wei reacts to this helpful information with a tiny eyeroll and a longsuffering stare into the middle distance, which intensifies as Zhao Yunlan tells him he hasn't eaten at all today: he looks like he's questioning all his life choices and asking himself if this man could really be (have been, will become) Kunlun.
Then he turns around and pointedly says "No wonder you're suffering. You were asking for it." Zhao Yunlan doesn't react, just winces in pain.
Shen Wei gives a put-upon sigh that is a LOT, for him, drapes his finger over his nostrils again and delves into the fridge to find the medicine.
He returns to Zhao Yunlan, hands him the medicine and says "I'll get you some warm water". Zhao Yunlan responds: "Don't bother, I'll swallow them dry." There is a pause, then Shen Wei reacts by stepping forward and abruptly yanking the pill bottle away from Zhao Yunlan's grasp. We get a very close focus on their hands touching:
Zhao Yunlan looks up at him with a hint of his babyfaced, innocent 'What did I do?' expression.
And Shen Wei, who is still very much in Stern Annoyed Professor mode, glares down at him and turns away with another tiny eyeroll, his entire posture expressing Why Are You Like This and Why Do I Love You.
Of course, to get water, he has to enter the kitchen. Evidence suggests that Zhao Yunlan ate an orange and drank some booze (with Da Qing?) recently, otherwise it's just a mess, with one half of the sink full of dishes. Shen Wei grimly starts filling a kettle with water, looks around and sighs again.
We cut away to Zhu Jiu, and when we come back Shen Wei has taken off his suit coat and rolled up his sleeves to wash a glass. This shot is here purely for the sexy lighting on his hands and the focus on the Chain:
And this one is here to show that the sleeve garters are doing a great support acting job, showing off Shen Wei's biceps:
Shen Wei comes back with the pills and a glass of water. Zhao Yunlan is curled up tight on the bed, and Shen Wei says Zhao Yunlan's name twice to wake him up, then shakes his shoulder.
In response, Zhao Yunlan turns over, away from him, and Shen Wei's frown tightens as he looks down at him. I imagine at this point he's saying to himself ‘take your medicine you infuriating beautiful man, or must I force feed you your pills?' but he doesn't follow through.
So far the scene was without music, but here a delicate piano begins to play as Shen Wei kneels on the bed and begins to take off Zhao Yunlan's boots (fashion note: possibly these are Yeezy desert boots).
When he's done, he puts his hand on Zhao Yunlan's ankle and pulls the blanket over him, puts another cushion down by Zhao Yunlan's head, then tucks in the duvet a little more.
Then he starts folding Zhao Yunlan's clothes. We see it in closeup first, and then the camera pulls out to show us that Shen Wei is sitting at the foot of the bed. Every time he puts an item of clothing down, he gently smoothes it with his hands:
Then he's interrupted, and we see the Envoy side of him take over as the Regent's message arrives, exposing his identity as a 'senior official using the name of Shen Wei'.
Shen Wei checks to see that ZYL is still asleep, then erases the message and replaces it, and returns to his favorite hobby, staring at Zhao Yunlan asleep. Zhao Yunlan's face has smoothed out, he no longer looks like he's in pain, and the lighting here is chef's kiss:
Looking at him, Shen Wei's expression seems to settle into quiet satisfaction, as if he's saying to himself, Worth It.
And end scene!
What I love about this scene: I love Shen Wei coming in to take care of Zhao Yunlan's everything and also scold him a little bit. I love Zhao Yunlan's contradictory behavior as he seems to both invite caretaking and repel it.
I love the lighting, which makes them both look luminously beautiful. I love the caretaking and the touching.
I love the way this scene is infused with character from beginning to end, on both sides. It says so much about Zhao Yunlan that his apartment is a disaster, and that he is pretty much not interested when it comes to looking after himself. (And yes, Da Qing lives there too, but who could expect a cat to do any housework at all?)
Shen Wei's response is so telling, so different from later scenes where Zhao Yunlan blatantly asks his Service Dom to take care of him, and Shen Wei reacts with fond indulgence. Here, there's none of that: he is pissed and exasperated and his body language expresses that beautifully. But then, once Zhao Yunlan falls asleep, we see the sternness and disapproval give way to an aching tenderness.
We see it in the way he handles Zhao Yunlan as he tucks the duvet over him and removes his boots, as well as the careful way he deals with his clothes, and we see it in the intense look he gives Zhao Yunlan when he's done tidying. And we know that he will stay by Zhao Yunlan's side all night.
Questions:
Why do you think that Zhao Yunlan refuses to take his medicine?
Do you think this is the first time Shen Wei stayed all night by Zhao Yunlan (Kunlun)'s side?
If you know of any fanworks that feature this particular moment, please share. And of course I'd love to know what you think about this scene!
ETA
china_shop: "this scene prompted my first ever Guardian ficlet, A Watchful Eye".Next week,
trobadora will cover the Morning After.
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Okay, having gotten that out of my system. "Why does Zhao Yunlan refuse to take his medicine?" is an interesting question. My main impression is that he's just kind of in roll-up bug mode, leave me alone to be miserable I don't want to move or think or do anything, but you could also read it as a hint that he doesn't completely trust Shen Wei at this point, not enough to let Shen Wei feed him what could be anything (in principle). And the message-erasing thing makes the point that he's kind of right not to trust Shen Wei completely, either.
I love the way this scene is infused with character from beginning to end, on both sides.
Yes! The dialogue is minimal (except for Zhao Yunlan's horrifying explanation of his eating habits), and their expressions and body language carry the whole thing and say so much about the situation and who they are, individually and with each other.
(Shen Wei is sitting at the foot of the bed. Every time he puts an item of clothing down, he gently smoothes it with his hands
chalk up one for my theory that Shen Wei relaxes by ironing his beautiful clothes.)
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I KNOW. It's such a problem. I had so many screencaps, let me attack you with an extra just because:
His layered expressions are so riveting, too, and in this scene he really makes the most of them.
he's just kind of in roll-up bug mode
Ha, that's a great way to describe him! I can see the argument that maybe he doesn't trust Shen Wei fully yet, and it's not like he's wrong. Of course, there he is falling asleep while Shen Wei wanders around his apartment, at liberty to do terrible things (like fold his underwear)...
chalk up one for my theory that Shen Wei relaxes by ironing his beautiful clothes.)
awwww that feels very plausible, and now I wish we could see him do it!
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Ha, I love how you describe that! Yeah, that makes sense to me, in addition to him being half-asleep already (which is what it looks to me, and would make sense given he was already sleeping on Shen Wei's shoulder in the taxi).
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Haha, yes, exactly that! *pets him forever*
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I confess, it's taken me an embarrassingly long time to think about this scene because I always get caught up in the pretty and the caretaking. :D But what strikes me about it now is that I think Zhao Yunlan's contradictory behavior stems from: no one else takes care of him like this. (And may never have taken care of him like this, at least not for a very long time.) No one else makes sure he got home safely and helps him to the bed when he's in pain. No one else asks if he has medicine and waits to see if he'll take it. It's not a slam on Da Qing (because: cat) or anyone from the SID, because I think Zhao Yunlan tries hard not to reveal this level of vulnerability to the SID team. He's their boss, even if he doesn't act very boss-like. I'm not sure, myself, how comfortable Zhao Yunlan is being so vulnerable around Shen Wei, so the contradictory behavior seems right to me. I think Zhao Yunlan welcomes Shen Wei's care, but also isn't sure how to react to it. Especially because his pain and disaster eating habits are things he's used to. Shen Wei's caretaking and reactions are more than just acquaintance-polite -- only someone who cares him would be so pissed at him for being like this. I think Zhao Yunlan must be taken aback by that.
I love how pissed Shen Wei is! If this is Kunlun, how could Kunlun live like this? How could he treat himself in this way? This (beginning with the earlier taxi scene) is the first Shen Wei sees of the private Zhao Yunlan, and he wasn't prepared for this level of disaster. Poor Shen Wei. I always figure he's like, "give me strength," and then he's like, "I will show you that you are worthy and deserving of being cared for, Zhao Yunlan." ♥
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OOF. Yeah, I think you've nailed it, and I so appreciate your ideas - it hits in such a vulnerable spot for ZYL to LET himself be taken care of, and later I think he's more ready to joke about it than he is now. I think you're right - he can't really show that much vulnerability to the SID, and well, who else is there, his dad? Ha. We see how much ZYL doesn't want that when he's blind.
I love how pissed Shen Wei is! If this is Kunlun, how could Kunlun live like this?
;__; Yes! So much love at the root of that anger and disapproval. HOW DARE HE.
I always figure he's like, "give me strength," and then he's like, "I will show you that you are worthy and deserving of being cared for, Zhao Yunlan." ♥
Siiiiigh yes! Let me just roll around in this idea like a cat in a sunbeam <3
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Yes, agreed. I think he thinks it's just the way it is, and he doesn't really understand (yet) why it should be different).
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I was biking around thinking about this and came to the conclusion that it's possible Da Qing is the reason Zhao Yunlan has any medicine at all. I mean, depending on how far back the history of gastritis goes, I can imagine bb!Zhao Yunlan living in his father's house and preferring to tough out bouts of illness than admit to his dad he was suffering. You know, just shut himself in his room, which Zhao Xinci would probably write off as sulking.
And then at some point Da Qing enters the picture. Maybe he suggested traditional Yashou Cat medicine first, and when Zhao Yunlan either refused or gamely tried it and found it didn't help, Da Qing nagged him into seeing a doctor. :-)
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It did strike me that Yunlan's reaction to having gastritis was remarkably casual!
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This is not the first night he has spent by Kunlun's side. No way!
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I love the Horror Fridge Reaction Shot so much, and you capped it perfectly. Plus now I will always think of this observation: It's so elegantly disdainful, and reminiscent of older times
I also love watching Hei Pao Shi tackling the dishes; he's inspirational. Only upon reading this post did I actually remember, that since Zhao Yunlan hasn't eaten anything lately, those dishes and their remaining contents must be getting pretty old! Dayyyys. D: Unless we think they're all from Da Qing, but I tend to doubt it--the cat using a plate just for himself seems a bit unlikely.
The cleaning in general is so nice to watch--the way he starts from the crucial center, the care and comfort of Zhao Yunlan (including washing the glass for the water for the pills), and then moves outward through Zhao Yunlan's clothes and things. The delicate folding, and even more, the smoothing, is so gentle and tactile--it always feels to me not just a feature of his innate tidiness and control, but also a vicarious way of gently touching Zhao Yunlan, after the tucking-in has ended (whether Shen Wei admits that to himself or not). He can't make Zhao Yunlan take care of himself, but he can make things nice for him.
Speaking of Zhao Yunlan taking care of himself, I'm not entirely sure why he doesn't take his medicine after Shen Wei gets him the water, when he had just started making a move to swallow them dry. Maybe the rolling away is a bit of a control tug-of-war, after he's had to cede pretty much everything else including his pride. And/or, he really has slipped into a doze, because he's being taken care of (which never happens!), so he's been able to relax and feel safe (see above re: never happens), which has eased the pain enough to let him sleep.
I like to think that back in Ancient Haixing, Shen Wei certainly sat up with and over his sleeping (sick? wounded?) Kunlun. He developed that love language somewhere, for it to appear fully-developed in next week's scene (not just hanging around the same apartment space, like waiting on the couch, but sitting RIGHT THERE, close and attentive), and back in their me-and-thee warrior days together would have been a perfect time to start it.
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Agreed! Really, it was very nice of him to wear this for us, and ZYL is not in the best state to appreciate it so we have to make up the deficit. 😍
those dishes and their remaining contents must be getting pretty old!
Oh man so true! Maybe even the orange peel is from like, last week, and the dishes from the week before...yikes. Shen Wei is such a stern yet loving fairy godmother to tackle all that, sigh.
a vicarious way of gently touching Zhao Yunlan, after the tucking-in has ended (whether Shen Wei admits that to himself or not)
Siiigh, yes, I think so too, and this time around I really noticed how lovingly he smoothes those clothes. It does feel like they're the next best thing to touching the man himself.
I like to think of Shen Wei sitting up with a sleeping and/or wounded (yes pls) Kunlun, too. Mmm.
He developed that love language somewhere
That is such a striking idea, and so true - everything we see him do in the present day is potentially shaped by his past. Wow. I love the idea that he is used to keeping a similar vigil, even if it was a long time ago, and he's not going to do the polite thing and keep himself at a distance, not from this man.
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Awww, I love how you put that. ♥
I do think Zhao Yunlan is slipping into a doze - he was already sleeping on Shen Wei's shoulder in the taxi after all.
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♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Speaking of Zhao Yunlan taking care of himself, I'm not entirely sure why he doesn't take his medicine after Shen Wei gets him the water, when he had just started making a move to swallow them dry.
Maybe it's just that he's used to sleeping it off? Half the time, he probably can't find his medicine when he's in this bad a state... I imagine he's practised at suffering through it.
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100% this! This scene and then the Rain Scene were like hammerblows to my id, and I was lost.
'why are you like this?' and the 'What the fuck, seriously, why are you like this?' when he grabs the pill bottle
Hahaha yes! I can so relate, every time I watch this scene (when I'm not struck dumb by the sight of Shen Wei's pocket chain) I am tempted to yell at ZYL for never actually taking his damn medicine.
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It's so elegantly disdainful, and reminiscent of older times: you can imagine him draping a sleeve of his ancient robe across the lower half of his face to shield himself from the horrors of Zhao Yunlan's fridge.
This cracked me up because that's EXACTLY the vibe and it's so very Shen Wei. He wouldn't stoop so low as to make an audible noise of disgust/horror, but his gestures sure as hell are going to make the point clear.
Why Are You Like This and Why Do I Love You
Yup. I love that that's kinda their dynamic with each other. Shen Wei is so fond of him already but he also looks at the disaster human thinking that, and then Zhao Yunlan grows so fond of Shen Wei but sees him, you know, literally slicing himself open for Zhao Yunlan's sake and has basically the same reaction (with more angst).
... will I ever be entirely over the ass chain? Current evidence suggests not.
Shen Wei's response is so telling, so different from later scenes where Zhao Yunlan blatantly asks his Service Dom to take care of him, and Shen Wei reacts with fond indulgence. Here, there's none of that: he is pissed and exasperated and his body language expresses that beautifully. But then, once Zhao Yunlan falls asleep, we see the sternness and disapproval give way to an aching tenderness.
I always think it's a mixture of this being the first time Shen Wei is confronted with Zhao Yunlan's dubious taking care of himself skills and he needs to digest that, and the fact that Shen Wei is much happier once Zhao Yunlan actually asks for help/pampering in general because it speaks to trust and their evolved relationship (and also gives those Service Dom urges official permission).
Do you think this is the first time Shen Wei stayed all night by Zhao Yunlan (Kunlun)'s side?
Canonically speaking, probably? But going with fandom's general assumption that Zhao Yunlan was Kunlun for longer than a day and a night to make any of this make sense, I can easily imagine bb!Shen Wei keeping watch over Kunlun's sleeping form in various circumstances (out on a trip? Need to watch for enemies; Kunlun got very minorly injured? Need to make sure he doesn't die during the night; we were up late talking in his tent and he fell asleep? Better move him to his furs and guard his dreams).
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Oh, I hadn't thought about that, but you're right! It really is such a telltale reaction, the soundless but still very visible horror. Sigh, I love it.
Zhao Yunlan grows so fond of Shen Wei but sees him, you know, literally slicing himself open for Zhao Yunlan's sake and has basically the same reaction (with more angst).
OMG ;__; That is such a good (knifey) parallel, yes! They both have such cause to be like "WHY, for the love of all things, are you LIKE THIS" and as the audience, we feel it even more strongly because we can see that it's a mutual problem. Weh.
I don't think it's possible to be over the ass chain, honestly. It's like being over...I dunno, chocolate? XD
Re Kunlun era, whoops, yeah, I forgot to say "as we all know, ZYL stayed in YOHE for months", because it's such a given to me at this point! But ooh, I love your ideas about bb!Shen Wei and under what circs he might have taken up a protective vigil over Kunlun...move him to his furs, YES PLEASE. :happy sigh:
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It's fascinating to me that this scene is part of what made you decide to watch Guardian! I absolutely love this scene, but I don't know if it would have done anything for me without the whole context of who and what they are – the whole Envoy/SID, Dixing-Haixing thing and Shen Wei's double identity. And of course the time loop backstory makes it even better! So many layers. ♥
a special Zhao Yunlan 'I have an ow, but I don't need any help, but please notice I am suffering, but also I am FINE' Cocktail of Emotional Damage
Oh god, yes, I love how you describe that!
There are some wine bottles by the bed, as well as slippers and I think a boxing glove.
It's very important to me that ZYL, despite the mess he's living in, does have slippers! And a lot of, let's say idiosyncratic, decorating choices. It's not that he doesn't care how he lives, entirely - some thought went into all of this - and yet the day-to-day part of household upkeep is something the just can't bring himself to put any effort into. china_shop said the other day that it's like a teenage boy's room, and I think there's definitely a lot of the same energy in this flat. Does ZYL expend all his maturity on his job? *g*
It's intimate, of course, seeing the place where Zhao Yunlan lives for the first time, but it's also a cluttered mess. And that, combined with the stomach pains, basically screams I don't take good care of myself.
Right? OMG, what must Shen Wei be thinking, finding Kunlun like this? I do wonder if the surprise is complete – if this side of ZYL simply had no occasion to be visible in old Haixing – or if Shen Wei is inwardly going, oh no, this makes so much sense but I hate it ...
Instead of pinching his nostrils shut, he delicately places a forefinger across his nose. It's so elegantly disdainful, and reminiscent of older times: you can imagine him draping a sleeve of his ancient robe across the lower half of his face to shield himself from the horrors of Zhao Yunlan's fridge.
OH. I love this moment too, and you're spot on with the way you describe it here – I hadn't thought of it that way, but it does have the same kind of energy as lifting your sleeve in front of your face.
he looks like he's questioning all his life choices and asking himself if this man could really be (have been, will become) Kunlun.
And realising that ZYL really needs someone to take care of him, but they're not yet at the point where Shen Wei can just go and do that ... there's only so much he can get away with at this point, and he clearly decides to push the limits of that as far as he can.
Zhao Yunlan looks up at him with a hint of his babyfaced, innocent 'What did I do?' expression.
This must be so weird for ZYL – he's so unused to not just anyone taking care of him, but also anyone really being annoyed that he isn't taking care of himself! Which I feel says even more about his relationship with his father than just the lack of caretaking, ouch.
In response, Zhao Yunlan turns over, away from him, and Shen Wei's frown tightens as he looks down at him. I imagine at this point he's saying to himself ‘take your medicine you infuriating beautiful man, or must I force feed you your pills?' but he doesn't follow through.
Yeah, I always wondered why he didn't, but I guess he was reluctant to wake ZYL again now that he's drifting off. I wonder if he secretly sneaked in some healing while ZYL was out of it?
I love the way he tucks ZYL in, but it always bothers me that ZYL's sock slips half off his heel and Shen Wei doesn't pull it back up. Maybe that would have been too intimate? *g*
Every time he puts an item of clothing down, he gently smoothes it with his hands
♥ ♥ ♥
Zhao Yunlan's contradictory behavior as he seems to both invite caretaking and repel it
Yes, this! He wants it, but I’m not sure he knows he wants it, or would admit it to himself. And either way he doesn't know what to do with it when he gets it. ♥
he is pissed and exasperated and his body language expresses that beautifully. But then, once Zhao Yunlan falls asleep, we see the sternness and disapproval give way to an aching tenderness.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why do you think that Zhao Yunlan refuses to take his medicine?
I don't think he really refuses it; I always thought he's drifting off and sort of rolling away on instinct, the way you might pull your duvet over your head if the lights come on, even without fully waking. I mean, he was doing badly enough that he was sitting on the kerb curled in on himself, and he was already falling asleep in the taxi.
Do you think this is the first time Shen Wei stayed all night by Zhao Yunlan (Kunlun)'s side?
This is such a good thought! Damn, now I want a whole pile of fic about YOHE!Shen Wei watching Kunlun sleep ...
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LOL! But also, idk, I think this is something ZYL grows out of, under Shen Wei's influence and out of respect for the effort Shen Wei makes on his behalf. I think by the time he's Kunlun, he's much more functional.
I love the way he tucks ZYL in, but it always bothers me that ZYL's sock slips half off his heel and Shen Wei doesn't pull it back up. Maybe that would have been too intimate? *g*
Maybe he didn't do it partly to spite himself? Like, he's still angry about it all, and this might be a detail he's not letting himself attend to?
I don't think he really refuses it; I always thought he's drifting off and sort of rolling away on instinct, the way you might pull your duvet over your head if the lights come on, even without fully waking.
Agreed! That's how I read it too (along with a bit of "I'm dying of cringe and really can't deal with you right now").
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Meanwhile, Shen Wei starts to look around. I always wonder what goes through his mind on seeing Zhao Yunlan's disaster of an apartment.
Haha, he's so appalled! I adore how angry he is about it. :D :D :D The fridge is just the disaster cherry on top!
Zhao Yunlan looks up at him with a hint of his babyfaced, innocent 'What did I do?' expression.
And maybe some 'Why are you doing this?'? Like, his deduction powers are running at about 25%, but he's got to be wondering, I think? (Ahhh, that screencap!!)
Shen Wei says Zhao Yunlan's name twice to wake him up, then shakes his shoulder.
I think he just taps his shoulder? It feels quite hands-off to me. He's still so angry about it all. :D :D :D
When he's done, he puts his hand on Zhao Yunlan's ankle and pulls the blanket over him, puts another cushion down by Zhao Yunlan's head, then tucks in the duvet a little more.
asdfasdfasdfasdf yessss, and there's a tiny beat after he's done that where he just hovers over him, staring down at him. There's something really yearning about that to me.
It says so much about Zhao Yunlan that his apartment is a disaster, and that he is pretty much not interested when it comes to looking after himself.
Yes, this! A lot of what I love about this scene is what it shows us about Zhao Yunlan. It's Shen Wei's and our first time seeing behind the performance -- the smirks and games and work competence -- and what we find is a literal and metaphorical disaster zone. Everything is entropy!
I mean, where are they up to? Shen Wei knows that Zhao Yunlan will become Kunlun, and he loves/adores/is obsessed with him for that. He's claimed "intimate friendship", but he's still keeping secrets and holding Zhao Yunlan at a distance. Still trying to reconcile who Zhao Yunlan is with who he'll become, I think? Trying not to overwhelm Zhao Yunlan with an intensity of feeling that Zhao Yunlan simply hasn't earned yet, and that isn't really (or solely) about him-as-he-is-now.
Meanwhile, Zhao Yunlan likes Shen Wei too much -- Shen Wei is kind, smart, classy, gorgeous, interested in him (and generally not judgemental about him), attentive, and helping the SID. He might be suspicious (probably Dixingren, moved into Zhao Yunlan's building, has that SID file), but that just adds to the intrigue and the draw. But the last time they saw each other, earlier that day, Zhao Yunlan tried to give Shen Wei an expensive gift of old books and completely fucked it up, and Shen Wei stalked off without a word. So Zhao Yunlan is monumentally embarrassed, he thinks he's blown it, and (I'm pretty sure it's canonical?) that's why he's in the state he's in here. So the fact that it's Shen Wei himself who found Zhao Yunlan sitting in the gutter in agony is just heaping coals on the whole mess.
At the same time, his apartment didn't get like this in a day. I think it ties into what he tells Zhu Hong in ep 31, "From the time I took over the Chief’s position, I never thought I would have a good end. It's just the question 'Is it worth dying for or not?'" He's not building a life for himself, and he's refusing to take care of the one he has, because he can't bear to get attached. (I also think it's telling that the first goal we see him have in the show is for a new office for the SID, rather than anything to do with personal career advancement. Because he's working towards a future he probably won't be in.)
(Oh! But I think all of this means his "My place has been messed up by Da Qing so badly. Even if you don't say it, you can't stand it, either, right?" (ep 15) is his very Yunlan-esque way of expressing appreciation for the tidying. Like, that "you can't stand it either" is an acknowledgement of how much more comfortable he is in his home now, thanks to Shen Wei's efforts.)
Anyway, Zhao Yunlan is humiliated, and I think he simply cannot deal with Shen Wei in his private space right now, seeing him as even more of a fuck-up, judging him for it. I think that's why he (half-heartedly) waved Shen Wei away when he was sitting on the kerb, and why he says, "Don't bother. I can swallow them dry." Even if he were at the top of his game, being seen and judged like this would sting. As it is, and as terrible as he's feeling, all he can do it roll over and turn his back on it all.
(Re the judgement: what Zhao Yunlan gets from his father is, "You're not good enough! I wish I could wash my hands of you!" What he's getting from Shen Wei is, "This isn't good enough -- we both deserve better!" But I don't know if he's aware enough to tell the difference right now. The next morning helps him find his feet again, when he sees the extreme lengths Shen Wei voluntarily went to to tidy up. But we're talking about that next week.)
And on Shen Wei's part, it's such an expression of love, exasperation and frustration. I mean, his students take better care of themselves than this! Shen Wei must have expected that when he and Kunlun met again, Kunlun would be the same confident, mature guy he was in YOHE, that they would have a relationship of equals, even more than they did in the past. Instead, Zhao Yunlan is trying to con him and making himself sick. (When he was sneezing all over the place in ep 3, he clearly wasn't taking care of himself then, either; this isn't just a one-off.) So I feel like at least some of Shen Wei's reaction is how can I have a relationship with you if you're not a functioning adult?
And Shen Wei's probably also thinking of the possible fight to come, and maybe of Kunlun trying to make the young Envoy take better care of himself. Like, I can easily imagine Kunlun saying, "Shen Wei, you can't fight if you don't eat and rest!" But I don't think that's something Shen Wei expected to have to teach Kunlun in turn, in that timeloopy way.
Re the flat itself, I love how Zhao Yunlan has a very developed sense of style but doesn't know how to / doesn't care enough to tidy and clean. We see this again when they find the Guardian Lantern -- those boxes he packed up three years ago and put in a corner and just left there. I wonder what kind of state the SID would be in if it weren't for Wang Zheng and lao-Li... *g*
I also wonder if any of the knickknacks in the flat belonged to Zhao Yunlan's mum.
When the letter from the Regent comes, I love how Shen Wei goes from ~feelings~ about Zhao Yunlan's having enquired about him to absolute outrage at the Regent having broken the Envoy's cover. <3 <3 <3
In conclusion, there is nothing about this scene I don't adore with all my heart.
Fanworks: this scene prompted my first ever Guardian ficlet, A Watchful Eye, and I also wrote an AU of it for the Dire Panda challenge: Pandemonium. :-)
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It's Shen Wei's and our first time seeing behind the performance -- the smirks and games and work competence -- and what we find is a literal and metaphorical disaster zone.
Yes, this is such an important point - Shen Wei gets to see Zhao Yunlan when he's not putting up a facade. And I think especially after the failed book con, this really matters. Because Zhao Yunlan laying it on thick and faking genuine feeling is the absolute last thing Shen Wei wants, and getting to see something real makes all the difference to him. (Whereas Zhao Yunlan is, as you say, probably worried the reality behind his public persona will put Shen Wei off, and it makes all the difference to him that it doesn't.)
he thinks he's blown it, and (I'm pretty sure it's canonical?) that's why he's in the state he's in here
I don't think that's canonical. Subtext at most - you can put the pieces together that way, but there's nothing that makes it definitely the only possible reading. This kind of episode must have happened before, after all. (See also Da Qing's reaction in the morning.)
Oh! But I think all of this means his "My place has been messed up by Da Qing so badly. Even if you don't say it, you can't stand it, either, right?" (ep 15) is his very Yunlan-esque way of expressing appreciation for the tidying. Like, that "you can't stand it either" is an acknowledgement of how much more comfortable he is in his home now, thanks to Shen Wei's efforts.
!!!!! I never thought of it that way, but you're totally right! ♥
Anyway, Zhao Yunlan is humiliated, and I think he simply cannot deal with Shen Wei in his private space right now, seeing him as even more of a fuck-up, judging him for it. I think that's why he (half-heartedly) waved Shen Wei away when he was sitting on the kerb, and why he says, "Don't bother. I can swallow them dry." Even if he were at the top of his game, being seen and judged like this would sting. As it is, and as terrible as he's feeling, all he can do it roll over and turn his back on it all.
Just want to underline this whole paragraph; I love how you describe it.
Re the judgement: what Zhao Yunlan gets from his father is, "You're not good enough! I wish I could wash my hands of you!" What he's getting from Shen Wei is, "This isn't good enough -- we both deserve better!"
Yeah, it's the difference between "you're not good enough for me" and "you're not good enough to yourself" ...
I think you're probably right that Zhao Yunlan can't quite tell the difference right now - or, hm, he can tell there's a difference but he can't understand it right now. I think he can tell this isn't what he's used to (from his father or anyone else), which only means he knows even less how to deal with it.
And yeah, Shen Wei absolutely did not expect having to help Kunlun become Kunlun, even though in retrospect it makes so much sense the way they shaped each other, and shaped themselves around the other!
I love how Shen Wei goes from ~feelings~ about Zhao Yunlan's having enquired about him to absolute outrage at the Regent having broken the Envoy's cover. <3 <3 <3
Right??? ♥ ♥ ♥
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