Thank you so much for this fabulous post and the mesmerising screencaps!!! I'm another one who fell hard(er) for the show in episode 8, and this scene was a big part of it, even though I'm missing the h/c gene so the caring/cared-for-ness doesn't really land for me. Also, uh, it took me a while to get my thoughts in order here, so this got long... I hope I'm not just repeating what other people have already said!
Meanwhile, Shen Wei starts to look around. I always wonder what goes through his mind on seeing Zhao Yunlan's disaster of an apartment. Haha, he's so appalled! I adore how angry he is about it. :D :D :D The fridge is just the disaster cherry on top!
Zhao Yunlan looks up at him with a hint of his babyfaced, innocent 'What did I do?' expression. And maybe some 'Why are you doing this?'? Like, his deduction powers are running at about 25%, but he's got to be wondering, I think? (Ahhh, that screencap!!)
Shen Wei says Zhao Yunlan's name twice to wake him up, then shakes his shoulder. I think he just taps his shoulder? It feels quite hands-off to me. He's still so angry about it all. :D :D :D
When he's done, he puts his hand on Zhao Yunlan's ankle and pulls the blanket over him, puts another cushion down by Zhao Yunlan's head, then tucks in the duvet a little more. asdfasdfasdfasdf yessss, and there's a tiny beat after he's done that where he just hovers over him, staring down at him. There's something really yearning about that to me.
It says so much about Zhao Yunlan that his apartment is a disaster, and that he is pretty much not interested when it comes to looking after himself. Yes, this! A lot of what I love about this scene is what it shows us about Zhao Yunlan. It's Shen Wei's and our first time seeing behind the performance -- the smirks and games and work competence -- and what we find is a literal and metaphorical disaster zone. Everything is entropy!
I mean, where are they up to? Shen Wei knows that Zhao Yunlan will become Kunlun, and he loves/adores/is obsessed with him for that. He's claimed "intimate friendship", but he's still keeping secrets and holding Zhao Yunlan at a distance. Still trying to reconcile who Zhao Yunlan is with who he'll become, I think? Trying not to overwhelm Zhao Yunlan with an intensity of feeling that Zhao Yunlan simply hasn't earned yet, and that isn't really (or solely) about him-as-he-is-now.
Meanwhile, Zhao Yunlan likes Shen Wei too much -- Shen Wei is kind, smart, classy, gorgeous, interested in him (and generally not judgemental about him), attentive, and helping the SID. He might be suspicious (probably Dixingren, moved into Zhao Yunlan's building, has that SID file), but that just adds to the intrigue and the draw. But the last time they saw each other, earlier that day, Zhao Yunlan tried to give Shen Wei an expensive gift of old books and completely fucked it up, and Shen Wei stalked off without a word. So Zhao Yunlan is monumentally embarrassed, he thinks he's blown it, and (I'm pretty sure it's canonical?) that's why he's in the state he's in here. So the fact that it's Shen Wei himself who found Zhao Yunlan sitting in the gutter in agony is just heaping coals on the whole mess.
At the same time, his apartment didn't get like this in a day. I think it ties into what he tells Zhu Hong in ep 31, "From the time I took over the Chief’s position, I never thought I would have a good end. It's just the question 'Is it worth dying for or not?'" He's not building a life for himself, and he's refusing to take care of the one he has, because he can't bear to get attached. (I also think it's telling that the first goal we see him have in the show is for a new office for the SID, rather than anything to do with personal career advancement. Because he's working towards a future he probably won't be in.)
(Oh! But I think all of this means his "My place has been messed up by Da Qing so badly. Even if you don't say it, you can't stand it, either, right?" (ep 15) is his very Yunlan-esque way of expressing appreciation for the tidying. Like, that "you can't stand it either" is an acknowledgement of how much more comfortable he is in his home now, thanks to Shen Wei's efforts.)
Anyway, Zhao Yunlan is humiliated, and I think he simply cannot deal with Shen Wei in his private space right now, seeing him as even more of a fuck-up, judging him for it. I think that's why he (half-heartedly) waved Shen Wei away when he was sitting on the kerb, and why he says, "Don't bother. I can swallow them dry." Even if he were at the top of his game, being seen and judged like this would sting. As it is, and as terrible as he's feeling, all he can do it roll over and turn his back on it all.
(Re the judgement: what Zhao Yunlan gets from his father is, "You're not good enough! I wish I could wash my hands of you!" What he's getting from Shen Wei is, "This isn't good enough -- we both deserve better!" But I don't know if he's aware enough to tell the difference right now. The next morning helps him find his feet again, when he sees the extreme lengths Shen Wei voluntarily went to to tidy up. But we're talking about that next week.)
And on Shen Wei's part, it's such an expression of love, exasperation and frustration. I mean, his students take better care of themselves than this! Shen Wei must have expected that when he and Kunlun met again, Kunlun would be the same confident, mature guy he was in YOHE, that they would have a relationship of equals, even more than they did in the past. Instead, Zhao Yunlan is trying to con him and making himself sick. (When he was sneezing all over the place in ep 3, he clearly wasn't taking care of himself then, either; this isn't just a one-off.) So I feel like at least some of Shen Wei's reaction is how can I have a relationship with you if you're not a functioning adult?
And Shen Wei's probably also thinking of the possible fight to come, and maybe of Kunlun trying to make the young Envoy take better care of himself. Like, I can easily imagine Kunlun saying, "Shen Wei, you can't fight if you don't eat and rest!" But I don't think that's something Shen Wei expected to have to teach Kunlun in turn, in that timeloopy way.
Re the flat itself, I love how Zhao Yunlan has a very developed sense of style but doesn't know how to / doesn't care enough to tidy and clean. We see this again when they find the Guardian Lantern -- those boxes he packed up three years ago and put in a corner and just left there. I wonder what kind of state the SID would be in if it weren't for Wang Zheng and lao-Li... *g*
I also wonder if any of the knickknacks in the flat belonged to Zhao Yunlan's mum.
When the letter from the Regent comes, I love how Shen Wei goes from ~feelings~ about Zhao Yunlan's having enquired about him to absolute outrage at the Regent having broken the Envoy's cover. <3 <3 <3
In conclusion, there is nothing about this scene I don't adore with all my heart.
Fanworks: this scene prompted my first ever Guardian ficlet, A Watchful Eye, and I also wrote an AU of it for the Dire Panda challenge: Pandemonium. :-)
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Meanwhile, Shen Wei starts to look around. I always wonder what goes through his mind on seeing Zhao Yunlan's disaster of an apartment.
Haha, he's so appalled! I adore how angry he is about it. :D :D :D The fridge is just the disaster cherry on top!
Zhao Yunlan looks up at him with a hint of his babyfaced, innocent 'What did I do?' expression.
And maybe some 'Why are you doing this?'? Like, his deduction powers are running at about 25%, but he's got to be wondering, I think? (Ahhh, that screencap!!)
Shen Wei says Zhao Yunlan's name twice to wake him up, then shakes his shoulder.
I think he just taps his shoulder? It feels quite hands-off to me. He's still so angry about it all. :D :D :D
When he's done, he puts his hand on Zhao Yunlan's ankle and pulls the blanket over him, puts another cushion down by Zhao Yunlan's head, then tucks in the duvet a little more.
asdfasdfasdfasdf yessss, and there's a tiny beat after he's done that where he just hovers over him, staring down at him. There's something really yearning about that to me.
It says so much about Zhao Yunlan that his apartment is a disaster, and that he is pretty much not interested when it comes to looking after himself.
Yes, this! A lot of what I love about this scene is what it shows us about Zhao Yunlan. It's Shen Wei's and our first time seeing behind the performance -- the smirks and games and work competence -- and what we find is a literal and metaphorical disaster zone. Everything is entropy!
I mean, where are they up to? Shen Wei knows that Zhao Yunlan will become Kunlun, and he loves/adores/is obsessed with him for that. He's claimed "intimate friendship", but he's still keeping secrets and holding Zhao Yunlan at a distance. Still trying to reconcile who Zhao Yunlan is with who he'll become, I think? Trying not to overwhelm Zhao Yunlan with an intensity of feeling that Zhao Yunlan simply hasn't earned yet, and that isn't really (or solely) about him-as-he-is-now.
Meanwhile, Zhao Yunlan likes Shen Wei too much -- Shen Wei is kind, smart, classy, gorgeous, interested in him (and generally not judgemental about him), attentive, and helping the SID. He might be suspicious (probably Dixingren, moved into Zhao Yunlan's building, has that SID file), but that just adds to the intrigue and the draw. But the last time they saw each other, earlier that day, Zhao Yunlan tried to give Shen Wei an expensive gift of old books and completely fucked it up, and Shen Wei stalked off without a word. So Zhao Yunlan is monumentally embarrassed, he thinks he's blown it, and (I'm pretty sure it's canonical?) that's why he's in the state he's in here. So the fact that it's Shen Wei himself who found Zhao Yunlan sitting in the gutter in agony is just heaping coals on the whole mess.
At the same time, his apartment didn't get like this in a day. I think it ties into what he tells Zhu Hong in ep 31, "From the time I took over the Chief’s position, I never thought I would have a good end. It's just the question 'Is it worth dying for or not?'" He's not building a life for himself, and he's refusing to take care of the one he has, because he can't bear to get attached. (I also think it's telling that the first goal we see him have in the show is for a new office for the SID, rather than anything to do with personal career advancement. Because he's working towards a future he probably won't be in.)
(Oh! But I think all of this means his "My place has been messed up by Da Qing so badly. Even if you don't say it, you can't stand it, either, right?" (ep 15) is his very Yunlan-esque way of expressing appreciation for the tidying. Like, that "you can't stand it either" is an acknowledgement of how much more comfortable he is in his home now, thanks to Shen Wei's efforts.)
Anyway, Zhao Yunlan is humiliated, and I think he simply cannot deal with Shen Wei in his private space right now, seeing him as even more of a fuck-up, judging him for it. I think that's why he (half-heartedly) waved Shen Wei away when he was sitting on the kerb, and why he says, "Don't bother. I can swallow them dry." Even if he were at the top of his game, being seen and judged like this would sting. As it is, and as terrible as he's feeling, all he can do it roll over and turn his back on it all.
(Re the judgement: what Zhao Yunlan gets from his father is, "You're not good enough! I wish I could wash my hands of you!" What he's getting from Shen Wei is, "This isn't good enough -- we both deserve better!" But I don't know if he's aware enough to tell the difference right now. The next morning helps him find his feet again, when he sees the extreme lengths Shen Wei voluntarily went to to tidy up. But we're talking about that next week.)
And on Shen Wei's part, it's such an expression of love, exasperation and frustration. I mean, his students take better care of themselves than this! Shen Wei must have expected that when he and Kunlun met again, Kunlun would be the same confident, mature guy he was in YOHE, that they would have a relationship of equals, even more than they did in the past. Instead, Zhao Yunlan is trying to con him and making himself sick. (When he was sneezing all over the place in ep 3, he clearly wasn't taking care of himself then, either; this isn't just a one-off.) So I feel like at least some of Shen Wei's reaction is how can I have a relationship with you if you're not a functioning adult?
And Shen Wei's probably also thinking of the possible fight to come, and maybe of Kunlun trying to make the young Envoy take better care of himself. Like, I can easily imagine Kunlun saying, "Shen Wei, you can't fight if you don't eat and rest!" But I don't think that's something Shen Wei expected to have to teach Kunlun in turn, in that timeloopy way.
Re the flat itself, I love how Zhao Yunlan has a very developed sense of style but doesn't know how to / doesn't care enough to tidy and clean. We see this again when they find the Guardian Lantern -- those boxes he packed up three years ago and put in a corner and just left there. I wonder what kind of state the SID would be in if it weren't for Wang Zheng and lao-Li... *g*
I also wonder if any of the knickknacks in the flat belonged to Zhao Yunlan's mum.
When the letter from the Regent comes, I love how Shen Wei goes from ~feelings~ about Zhao Yunlan's having enquired about him to absolute outrage at the Regent having broken the Envoy's cover. <3 <3 <3
In conclusion, there is nothing about this scene I don't adore with all my heart.
Fanworks: this scene prompted my first ever Guardian ficlet, A Watchful Eye, and I also wrote an AU of it for the Dire Panda challenge: Pandemonium. :-)