sid_guardian | Guardian Readalong: Vol. 3, Chapters 3 & 4

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Guardian Readalong: Vol. 3, Chapters 3 & 4

Welcome aboard for this week's chapters of our Guardian readalong!

Here are last week's chapters (the beginning of vol. 3). You can find all previous discussions on the schedule post (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4), or via the !readalong tag.

This week's chapters:

Chapter 3: Zhao Yunlan escapes his father's scolding, keeps falling asleep, and is fed medicine by Shen Wei. Zhu Hong gets a visit from her uncle, who wants her to leave Dragon City. Zhao Yunlan surprises Shen Wei in the kitchen cutting his own chest with a knife, and learns what medicine Shen Wei has been feeding him.
Chapter 4: Zhao Yunlan sleeps at the SID, and the team gossips about it. Shen Wei brings clothes while he's asleep. Zhu Hong refuses to leave Zhao Yunlan's side, gives him a gift from her uncle, and offers to sever ties with her tribe if he wants her to stay.

The corresponding part in the Chinese version on JJWXC/the fan translation are chapters 81-82.

Excerpts:

1) Shen Wei feeds Zhao Yunlan medicine

The noise in his ears only intensified, growing from a mere clamor to a cacophony. Zhao Yunlan knew he was dreaming, but the knowledge didn't free him. He remained ensnared in the dream, as if he'd fallen into a bog that was swallowing him up. The more he struggled, the less he could breathe.

Then a bowl that smelled of something raw was pressed to his lips. Ignoring his struggles, the person holding it pried his mouth open and forced him to take the medicine. Zhao Yunlan resisted instinctively, trying to push the stuff back out of his mouth with his tongue. The person seemed to sigh. Then hands cradled his head, and soft lips pressed against his. A familiar scent momentarily quieted Zhao Yunlan's thoughts of protest, and the other person seized their chance to make him swallow the medicine.

Zhao Yunlan's eyes flew open as he started coughing and found himself already home in bed. Dazed, he watched as Shen Wei set down the bowl and brought him a cup of tea that was at the perfect temperature. Shen Wei ducked his head and touched their foreheads together. "Here," he said. "Drink this and rinse your mouth."

Zhao Yunlan accepted the tea. His heavy lashes were lowered, and a trace of cold sweat from his nightmare still beaded his forehead. In a single gulp, he drank the tea to the last drop before asking hoarsely, "Did I catch a cold? Why am I getting sick so easily lately?"

There was a curious pause before Shen Wei replied, "It's nothing. Your time within the Great Divine Tree took too much of your energy."

"Oh." After a long look, Zhao Yunlan continued, deliberately drawing out each word, "I thought maybe..." Shen Wei's spine stiffened, only for him to hear the dumbass conclude, with a bit of a lilting whine, "I was carrying your child."

2) Kitchen scene: Shen Wei is caught

The other side of the bed was empty and already cold to the touch. It was impossible to say how long Shen Wei had been gone.

Startled, Zhao Yunlan sat up and saw light coming from the kitchen. He groped around the floor for his slippers, but when he couldn't find whatever corner they'd been kicked into, he headed for the kitchen barefoot.

Shen Wei was facing away, doing something with his hands as Zhao Yunlan entered. A little clay pot bubbled on the stove. The faint smell of a medicinal decoction wafted from the pot, as if Shen Wei was preparing some grand dish that needed to be stewed overnight.

Zhao Yunlan rubbed his eyes and walked over, rolling up his sleeves. "What are you making? I'll help-" His voice startled Shen Wei, who dropped what he'd been holding.

What clattered to the floor was a knife, dripping enough blood that the clean white cabinets were spattered when it landed. Zhao Yunlan broke off mid-sentence, pupils constricting. In an instant, all trace of sleepiness was gone. Shen Wei had been...had been cutting into his own chest .

3) Kitchen scene: Shen Wei explains

"Long ago...your left soul fire went missing, and your heart's blood became the Soul-Guarding Lamp's wick," Shen Wei responded, very low. "Your spirit was already weak. Your three souls were unstable. And for all that you forcibly elevated me to godhood, the fact remains that I was born from the Place of Great Disrespect. The gui are filthy and inauspicious. If you spend enough time in my presence, I'll start wearing you down. As I do, you'll become deficient in both qi and blood. Ultimately, I'll burn you out until there's nothing left."

Shen Wei dropped his gaze, hiding his ink-black eyes under lashes like crow feathers. Barely audible now, he said, "All those thousands of years ago, Shennong said that, as a King of the Gui, my life was fated to both begin and end badly. If you insist on protecting me and keeping me at your side, I'll inevitably kill you."

"So the 'medicine' I've been drinking has your blood in it... The purest blood from the tip of your heart." Zhao Yunlan's lips trembled. "That's your way of replenishing my 'lamp oil'?"

Shen Wei looked at him with a faint, soft smile. "Every part of me is dark, down to my very soul. Only the very tip of my heart is clean, and that's where I've kept you-where the blood runs red. I'll gladly use it to protect you."

4) Zhao Yunlan's dream

If it was at all possible, Zhao Yunlan wanted to regain Kunlun-jun's powers and true memories. Failing that, he at least wanted to know what was up with all these lies among truths, shrouded in layers of mystery, and learn what had motivated it all. He couldn't act rashly without seeing the full picture.

Shen Wei... The name alone overwhelmed Zhao Yunlan with worry. It was as though a flame was burning in his heart, steadily eating away at his energy, but he had to hold it in-and not only that, he had to seem outwardly peaceful while he was at it, as if he had everything under control.

He'd noticed at times that if he was just sitting there and no one else was around, his brow would furrow subconsciously. The same scene kept unfolding in his mind, no matter where he was or what he was doing: in some cold, dreary place, without a single beam of light or sign of life, Shen Wei was half swallowed by an endless darkness. Helpless to do anything but look up, Shen Wei desperately strained to glimpse the emerald seas and azure skies, but they were beyond him. His vision couldn't pierce the unending, absolute blackness. Sooner or later, inevitably succumbing to disappointment and despair, Shen Wei was slowly sucked away into the darkness...

Zhao Yunlan jolted awake as someone abruptly nudged him. He found his heart racing and his forehead beaded with sweat.

5) Zhu Hong's confession

Zhu Hong found her real feelings tumbling out of her mouth. "Director Zhao, just give me the word. One word and I'll sever all ties with my tribe and follow you to the end, through hell or high water."

It was as if she'd handed her whole life over on a silver platter, leaving her scared of Zhao Yunlan's response, but also anticipating it. However, a declaration of love was never guaranteed reciprocation. In the end, Zhao Yunlan still wouldn't meet her eyes.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "You and I have known each other for years, and we don't have any grudges against each other. Why can't I wish you well? As long as you're doing well, that's what matters to me."

The light in Zhu Hong's eyes flickered out.

Questions:

Do you like the worldbuilding around borrowing years? What do you think about the kitchen scene, and how it was adapted in the drama? Which is more intense? Which do you like better? Is Fourth Uncle right to make Zhu Hong leave? Do you think Zhao Yunlan actually wants Zhu Hong to stay, even if he won't say it? Does it help with understanding what's going on that Zhao Yunlan is actively trying to puzzle out what's true and what's a lie?

(As usual, these are just conversation starters - feel free to answer all, some, or none, and to say as much or as little as you like!)

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Because the drama went 'being inherently harmful to each other in any way is just not gonna happen', and I'm 100% here for it. :D

Yesss, this!!

Is it a saying? Someone must have been really sleep-deprived when they came up with it, poor ancient person, I feel for them. xD

LOL!

Wow, it's volume 3 already, and it's still only been a few days since the beginning of volume 2. These people are busy. :D

Omg, you're right. Wow, no wonder ZYL's tired (aside from other factors).

How does he know? But then again, he can materialize a pavillion and tea out of thin air just for the vibe, I guess reading texts without looking at them is not a problem either.

Ha, I just realised that I assumed he'd done his homework and found out everything that was going on before he showed up, so that he could be impressive and omnipotent-seeming. ;-p (But then, why would he go to so much trouble to impress Zhu Hong?) Maybe one of the Sparrow or Flower Tribe yao told him?

And the way things are right now, she doesn't really have much of a reason.

Except for, like, her job and her friends?

I sleep alone and I've always done that, to avoid waking me. :P

Hee! (I used to turn mine off completely, but now I don't have a landline, I use the DND function so only my partner can call.)

I am so impressed with how fully and thoroughly the drama recontextualized this quote

Yes! And I love that they made it about SW's identity and philosophy and conviction that he (and by extension, Dixingren generally) and humanity are fundamentally the same on an important level. Which is so different from "only this tiny bit of me is okay." *books another therapist appt for him*

but I like that he admits that he fucked up, before anyone even called him out on that.

Yes, agreed.

I LOVE Zhao Yunlan protecting Shen Wei's coat, it continues and it just gets more and more endearing. ♡ (Also this implies that Zhao Yunlan's coats are regularly clawed by Daqing, lol.)

Also agreed! And lol, I hadn't thought of that. Cats are why he can't have nice ~~things~~ clothes!

He could have kept that. :P /shallow :D

Hee, my thoughts exactly! *high fives you*

I am so confused, what does kneeling on a motherboard mean? :P

I presumed it's because motherboards are knobbly?

I was like 'wait what, he literally only ever acts rashly', lol, but maybe that's the point? That some things just are worth more consideration, even to him?

I think usually he feels like he has enough of a handle on the situation, or he knows the stakes well enough that he can make informed risks? Even with the trip to Kunlun Mountain, he knew Shen Wei would be there, right? And felt compelled to unshackle CSZ (and all the others). But with this, there's a huge amount of Highly Relevant info that's being deliberately hidden from him, so he knows he might be missing something that would provide critically important context?

And I love that they made it about SW's identity and philosophy and conviction that he (and by extension, Dixingren generally) and humanity are fundamentally the same on an important level. Which is so different from "only this tiny bit of me is okay."

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS this!!!!!!

Cats are why he can't have nice ~~things~~ clothes!

Or conversely, maybe that's why drama!ZYL has so many coats/jackets? Because they're always at risk of getting clawed to death anyway, so why not one more? :D

I presumed it's because motherboards are knobbly?

So basically, kneeling on Lego bricks? Motherboards usually not being found just lying around tripped me up, LOL.

I think usually he feels like he has enough of a handle on the situation, or he knows the stakes well enough that he can make informed risks? Even with the trip to Kunlun Mountain, he knew Shen Wei would be there, right? And felt compelled to unshackle CSZ (and all the others). But with this, there's a huge amount of Highly Relevant info that's being deliberately hidden from him, so he knows he might be missing something that would provide critically important context?

This all makes 100% sense to me!

"Or conversely, maybe that's why drama!ZYL has so many coats/jackets? Because they're always at risk of getting clawed to death anyway, so why not one more? :D"

100% my headcanon now. :D :D

"Motherboards usually not being found just lying around tripped me up, LOL."

Lololol, this. ;D :D

Or conversely, maybe that's why drama!ZYL has so many coats/jackets? Because they're always at risk of getting clawed to death anyway, so why not one more? :D

HEE! But most of the ones he owns are in pretty good condition, aren't they?

So basically, kneeling on Lego bricks? Motherboards usually not being found just lying around tripped me up, LOL.

That's what I thought. Funny that Zhu Hong is the one to use a metaphor containing computer parts. Maybe she does the computer support for the SID, since Lin Jing isn't techy in the novel?

This all makes 100% sense to me!

Yay! :D

But most of the ones he owns are in pretty good condition, aren't they?

True! None of them look old - either he's a fashion plate or ~something happens to the old ones. *g*

Maybe she does the computer support for the SID, since Lin Jing isn't techy in the novel?

Ooh, I like that idea! :D

None of them look old - either he's a fashion plate or ~something happens to the old ones. *g*

He does have one distressed denim one, but I think that's deliberate. And ahaha, now I'm imagining Zhu Hong orchestrating a campaign (for the sake of the SID's image) where she, Wang Zheng, and Lin Jing all accidentally spill noxiously smelly or particularly destructive things onto those of ZYL's jackets that are falling apart (because he hasn't noticed and doesn't really care, and SOMEONE has to maintain standards). (Though in practice, I'm more like "let people keep their old, comfortable, shabby things!" ;-p)

"But most of the ones he owns are in pretty good condition, aren't they?"

Every time a coat gets clawed even once, he just buys a new one (or a few new ones)? ;D It would go with the 'wasteful and likes shiny stuff' thing. :D

"Maybe she does the computer support for the SID, since Lin Jing isn't techy in the novel?"

Oooh, good idea! I'm not sure who does what exactly (other than Wang Zheng doing HR), but this would definitely make sense. :D

Every time a coat gets clawed even once, he just buys a new one (or a few new ones)? ;D It would go with the 'wasteful and likes shiny stuff' thing. :D

LOVE. :D

(ZYL is just lucky that drama!Da Qing doesn't spend that much time in cat form, compared to novel!Daqing. *g*)

Lololol, maybe he does scratch ZYL's coats all the time but most of the time it's with his human nails so it doesn't do any harm to them. :D :D :D

LOVE. :D :D :D

Haha, I love that! :D

"Wow, no wonder ZYL's tired (aside from other factors)."

I'm so amused that at one point he literally thinks that "he hadn't been that busy recently", and I don't want to know what counts as busy to him, lol, like, just in the last week he was blind and then traveled to Kunlun Mountain, among many, many other things. xD

"Ha, I just realised that I assumed he'd done his homework and found out everything that was going on before he showed up, so that he could be impressive and omnipotent-seeming. ;-p (But then, why would he go to so much trouble to impress Zhu Hong?) Maybe one of the Sparrow or Flower Tribe yao told him?"

It was an email from Wang Zheng that ZYL now forwarded to Zhu Hong (and everyone else) - I don't think anyone from the outside has any way to know about it? Unless her uncle or someone else knows about the case itself and makes the assumption that obviously this is what the SID is doing next. But that would still just be an assumption - maybe the SID has something more important to do. :P

"Except for, like, her job and her friends?"

Obviously, but she never says that to him, or even implies that it's something that is important to her.

"And I love that they made it about SW's identity and philosophy and conviction that he (and by extension, Dixingren generally) and humanity are fundamentally the same on an important level. Which is so different from "only this tiny bit of me is okay." *books another therapist appt for him*"

Yes, THIS! ♡♡♡ (Well, except, novel!SW is correct about this, it's not just a belief he has - everything else about him is actually harmful to Zhao Yunlan. Us and him can all wish it wasn't true. :P But this can't be wished away by liking himself more.)

"Cats are why he can't have nice ~~things~~ clothes!"

At least it looks good when his jeans get clawed. :D :D (No idea if novel!ZYL also wears jeans with holes, but considering DQ's activities, he really should. xD)

"I presumed it's because motherboards are knobbly?"

Ahhh, that's probably it! :D First time I've ever heard of anyone kneeling on one, but it weirdly does make some amount of sense. xD

"I think usually he feels like he has enough of a handle on the situation, or he knows the stakes well enough that he can make informed risks? Even with the trip to Kunlun Mountain, he knew Shen Wei would be there, right? And felt compelled to unshackle CSZ (and all the others). But with this, there's a huge amount of Highly Relevant info that's being deliberately hidden from him, so he knows he might be missing something that would provide critically important context?"

Oooh, I like this! Another one of those subjective things - it seems rash from the outside but it doesn't feel rash to him. I like this a lot! Especially when he walked right into the trap in the village and got blinded, and I was thinking the whole time that his reasons to do that actually made sense, at least to him. But he would never do something that doesn't make sense to him, so he needs more information. Yes, ITA!

I don't want to know what counts as busy to him, lol, like, just in the last week he was blind and then traveled to Kunlun Mountain, among many, many other things. xD

LOLOL! Plus, new relationship, lots of sex, all-night New Years Eve party, dealing with parents... it would be amazing if he wasn't tired! (But maybe this is a different quality of tiredness he can't put his finger on?)

Unless her uncle or someone else knows about the case itself and makes the assumption that obviously this is what the SID is doing next.

That's what I was thinking, yes. And that he'd made an informed guess what she was talking about and is playing it off as ~knowing~. But who knows.

but she never says that to him, or even implies that it's something that is important to her.

This is making me really appreciate that in the drama (iirc) she's politicised and says she has to stand with the SID. Being part of the team and protecting the world is a core part of her identity, on top of her crush. (The equivelent scene is in ep 30, 34:27.)

Well, except, novel!SW is correct about this, it's not just a belief he has - everything else about him is actually harmful to Zhao Yunlan.

I guess I wish he'd distinguish between harmful and evil/filthy/wrong, though? Like, think of it more like an allergy and less like a judgement. You know?

At least it looks good when his jeans get clawed. :D :D

AGREED! :DDDD

First time I've ever heard of anyone kneeling on one

Oh, me too. I suspect priest was searching for something less cliched than Lego. It's interesting that that's where Zhu Hong went, though.

it seems rash from the outside but it doesn't feel rash to him. I like this a lot! Especially when he walked right into the trap in the village and got blinded, and I was thinking the whole time that his reasons to do that actually made sense, at least to him. But he would never do something that doesn't make sense to him, so he needs more information. Yes, ITA!

Yay! So glad that makes sense to you! :DDD

"Plus, new relationship, lots of sex, all-night New Years Eve party, dealing with parents... it would be amazing if he wasn't tired! (But maybe this is a different quality of tiredness he can't put his finger on?)"

Yeah, I definitely think this is very different. It's only the "not that busy" part that is funny to me - I'm sure under normal circumstances this level of activity doesn't lead to (much) exhaustion for him, but it should probably still count as "busy" regardless. :D

"This is making me really appreciate that in the drama (iirc) she's politicised and says she has to stand with the SID. Being part of the team and protecting the world is a core part of her identity, on top of her crush. (The equivelent scene is in ep 30, 34:27.)"

Thank you for the time stamp and an excuse to rewatch. :D Yeah, the SID is not in danger in the novel, and they're not even involved in protecting the world all that much yet (or at least they don't know how much they're involved) - at this point this is still just a regular case, a regular job and regular co-workers, and she doesn't seem to care about them all that much, compared to how much she cares about Zhao Yunlan. I like the drama version better too, ftr. :)

"I guess I wish he'd distinguish between harmful and evil/filthy/wrong, though? Like, think of it more like an allergy and less like a judgement. You know?"

I feel like this quote ("Every part of me is dark, down to my very soul. Only the very tip of my heart is clean, and that’s where I’ve kept you—where the blood runs red."), unlike many of his other quotes, was pretty free of judgment? Just facts. Oh, unless 'clean' is a judgment, it could be. He does have a problem with his hands being not clean enough.

I do think "clean" (with its implication that the rest of him is dirty/unclean) is definitely a judgment, and in this context, so is "dark". Unfortunately. :(

Hmm, if 'dark' is a judgment then I feel like any description of the harm he's causing would be a judgment? Which, yeah, if comes out of SW's mouth it probably always would be. But does it mean that there's no way to refer to it in a neutral way, regardless of attitude?

I think within the frame of the existing worldbuilding, there's no way to describe it in a neutral way because within that worldbuilding it isn't neutral. Or that's how I understand it, anyway.

That's really bleak. :( It would mean that there isn't difference between Shen Wei actively hating himself and him just describing what the facts are? I feel like there should be a difference, if only for him to be able to make progress.

I mean, maybe I'm wrong? But my impression is definitely that the worldbuilding is just stacked against him. His self-hatred is internalising that rather than railing against the unfairness of it all.

And isn't that part of the ending, too, offering the gui a way out of that inherently unfair state of being they're trapped in? That's how I remember it, anyway, though I'm none too clear on any details.

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facethestrange - 2025-05-24 20:18 (UTC) - Expand

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china_shop - 2025-05-25 01:43 (UTC) - Expand

I feel like there should be a difference, too. I think that's what I was saying upthread when I said I wished he could "think of it more like an allergy and less like a judgement." But now I think trobadora's right, that there is no way to talk about it like an allergy, because worldbuilding, so I should stop wishing Shen Wei was different, and start wishing the cosmology was. ;-p

Yeah, the SID is not in danger in the novel, and they're not even involved in protecting the world all that much yet (or at least they don't know how much they're involved) - at this point this is still just a regular case, a regular job and regular co-workers

Ohh, I hadn't thought about that. Huh. Yeah, it gives this sequence such a different vibe, because the tension is all "What will ZYL find out when?" and "How will the Magistrate's scheming manifest next?" and "Can ZYL and SW work things out?" and "Will ZH leave the SID?" There isn't the sense that all of this is happening as Doom Closes In, and the outcomes of these questions will affect the fate of the world.

He does have a problem with his hands being not clean enough.

When is that from? I think I missed it (or I've forgotten, which is Entirely Possible).

"Ohh, I hadn't thought about that. Huh. Yeah, it gives this sequence such a different vibe, because the tension is all "What will ZYL find out when?" and "How will the Magistrate's scheming manifest next?" and "Can ZYL and SW work things out?" and "Will ZH leave the SID?" There isn't the sense that all of this is happening as Doom Closes In, and the outcomes of these questions will affect the fate of the world."

I never really thought of this either until you compared the Zhu Hong scenes! As much as I love the drama version, I find this pretty cool too because the SID people are very much in the middle of the shitstorm (though the SID as an institution is not), and the outcomes will indeed affect the fate of the world, but they're kinda still on the brink of really finding out about it. There is the danger and it is growing, but they're still doing their normal everyday tasks, or so they think.

"When is that from? I think I missed it (or I've forgotten, which is Entirely Possible)."

Volume 2, chapters 9 and 10, there's this conversation with Ghost Face:

"“Let go.” Shen Wei practically gritted each word out between his teeth. “Don’t you dare touch him with your filthy hands.”

“Filthy hands?” Ghost Face laughed. “Are yours so clean, then?”

Shen Wei’s expression turned to ice."

And then pretty much immediately after that, Shen Wei doesn't catch Zhao Yunlan because of his literal hands being literally not clean (even though getting stained with cabbage juice is kind of a lot better than falling while blind):

"He was so flustered that he knocked over a plastic broom in the corner, stepped on it, and nearly fell on his face.

Shen Wei’s hands were wet from handling the cabbage. Afraid of getting cabbage juice all over Zhao Yunlan, all he could do was extend an arm to break his fall. Zhao Yunlan fell heavily against his chest.

The apartment wasn’t very big, so the kitchen was very small. It was just barely suitable for one person, let alone two grown men. Shen Wei was obliged to stay in that position and circle his arms around in front of Zhao Yunlan to rinse them under the faucet. His chin rested naturally on Zhao Yunlan’s shoulder.

Zhao Yunlan was suddenly still and silent.

Once his hands were clean, Shen Wei let his arms hover around Zhao Yunlan as he steered him toward the door."

There is the danger and it is growing, but they're still doing their normal everyday tasks, or so they think.

I find it very easy to be oblivious right along with them. Heh. But yeah, once you know that it's building in the background, it does change the flavour of everything. I guess, too, it's the difference between the novel where it feels like Weilan is the A plot and everything else is the B plot, and the drama where Weilan is woven into everything else and it's all the A plot. Or something. Idk, it makes sense in my head. ;-p

And then pretty much immediately after that, Shen Wei doesn't catch Zhao Yunlan because of his literal hands being literally not clean (even though getting stained with cabbage juice is kind of a lot better than falling while blind)

Oh, that's right! I remember you picking up on it at the time, now. Yes! (Thanks so much for digging those quotes out. <3) I wasn't sure how literally SW meant "filthy hands" when he was talking to Ghost Face (or whether it was like a "getting your hands dirty" kind of idiom), but it does come across as Extremely Literal and Specific in that context, you're right. :-/

it's the difference between the novel where it feels like Weilan is the A plot and everything else is the B plot, and the drama where Weilan is woven into everything else and it's all the A plot.

... did you mean that the other way round? Because it very much feels like the opposite to me, LOL.

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china_shop - 2025-05-25 23:26 (UTC) - Expand

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trobadora - 2025-05-26 00:28 (UTC) - Expand

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china_shop - 2025-05-26 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

"I wasn't sure how literally SW meant "filthy hands" when he was talking to Ghost Face (or whether it was like a "getting your hands dirty" kind of idiom), but it does come across as Extremely Literal and Specific in that context, you're right. :-/"

Yeah, I think the only person who is being metaphorical (or at least offhanded) here is Ghost Face. (And Shen Wei is reacting to him doing this with his literal hands: "Wholly unafraid, he glanced down and smoothed out Zhao Yunlan’s clothing, which had been blown about haphazardly in the wind.")

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china_shop - 2025-05-25 23:29 (UTC) - Expand

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