sid_guardian | Guardian Readalong: Vol. 3, Chapters 3 & 4

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Guardian Readalong: Vol. 3, Chapters 3 & 4

Welcome aboard for this week's chapters of our Guardian readalong!

Here are last week's chapters (the beginning of vol. 3). You can find all previous discussions on the schedule post (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4), or via the !readalong tag.

This week's chapters:

Chapter 3: Zhao Yunlan escapes his father's scolding, keeps falling asleep, and is fed medicine by Shen Wei. Zhu Hong gets a visit from her uncle, who wants her to leave Dragon City. Zhao Yunlan surprises Shen Wei in the kitchen cutting his own chest with a knife, and learns what medicine Shen Wei has been feeding him.
Chapter 4: Zhao Yunlan sleeps at the SID, and the team gossips about it. Shen Wei brings clothes while he's asleep. Zhu Hong refuses to leave Zhao Yunlan's side, gives him a gift from her uncle, and offers to sever ties with her tribe if he wants her to stay.

The corresponding part in the Chinese version on JJWXC/the fan translation are chapters 81-82.

Excerpts:

1) Shen Wei feeds Zhao Yunlan medicine

The noise in his ears only intensified, growing from a mere clamor to a cacophony. Zhao Yunlan knew he was dreaming, but the knowledge didn't free him. He remained ensnared in the dream, as if he'd fallen into a bog that was swallowing him up. The more he struggled, the less he could breathe.

Then a bowl that smelled of something raw was pressed to his lips. Ignoring his struggles, the person holding it pried his mouth open and forced him to take the medicine. Zhao Yunlan resisted instinctively, trying to push the stuff back out of his mouth with his tongue. The person seemed to sigh. Then hands cradled his head, and soft lips pressed against his. A familiar scent momentarily quieted Zhao Yunlan's thoughts of protest, and the other person seized their chance to make him swallow the medicine.

Zhao Yunlan's eyes flew open as he started coughing and found himself already home in bed. Dazed, he watched as Shen Wei set down the bowl and brought him a cup of tea that was at the perfect temperature. Shen Wei ducked his head and touched their foreheads together. "Here," he said. "Drink this and rinse your mouth."

Zhao Yunlan accepted the tea. His heavy lashes were lowered, and a trace of cold sweat from his nightmare still beaded his forehead. In a single gulp, he drank the tea to the last drop before asking hoarsely, "Did I catch a cold? Why am I getting sick so easily lately?"

There was a curious pause before Shen Wei replied, "It's nothing. Your time within the Great Divine Tree took too much of your energy."

"Oh." After a long look, Zhao Yunlan continued, deliberately drawing out each word, "I thought maybe..." Shen Wei's spine stiffened, only for him to hear the dumbass conclude, with a bit of a lilting whine, "I was carrying your child."

2) Kitchen scene: Shen Wei is caught

The other side of the bed was empty and already cold to the touch. It was impossible to say how long Shen Wei had been gone.

Startled, Zhao Yunlan sat up and saw light coming from the kitchen. He groped around the floor for his slippers, but when he couldn't find whatever corner they'd been kicked into, he headed for the kitchen barefoot.

Shen Wei was facing away, doing something with his hands as Zhao Yunlan entered. A little clay pot bubbled on the stove. The faint smell of a medicinal decoction wafted from the pot, as if Shen Wei was preparing some grand dish that needed to be stewed overnight.

Zhao Yunlan rubbed his eyes and walked over, rolling up his sleeves. "What are you making? I'll help-" His voice startled Shen Wei, who dropped what he'd been holding.

What clattered to the floor was a knife, dripping enough blood that the clean white cabinets were spattered when it landed. Zhao Yunlan broke off mid-sentence, pupils constricting. In an instant, all trace of sleepiness was gone. Shen Wei had been...had been cutting into his own chest .

3) Kitchen scene: Shen Wei explains

"Long ago...your left soul fire went missing, and your heart's blood became the Soul-Guarding Lamp's wick," Shen Wei responded, very low. "Your spirit was already weak. Your three souls were unstable. And for all that you forcibly elevated me to godhood, the fact remains that I was born from the Place of Great Disrespect. The gui are filthy and inauspicious. If you spend enough time in my presence, I'll start wearing you down. As I do, you'll become deficient in both qi and blood. Ultimately, I'll burn you out until there's nothing left."

Shen Wei dropped his gaze, hiding his ink-black eyes under lashes like crow feathers. Barely audible now, he said, "All those thousands of years ago, Shennong said that, as a King of the Gui, my life was fated to both begin and end badly. If you insist on protecting me and keeping me at your side, I'll inevitably kill you."

"So the 'medicine' I've been drinking has your blood in it... The purest blood from the tip of your heart." Zhao Yunlan's lips trembled. "That's your way of replenishing my 'lamp oil'?"

Shen Wei looked at him with a faint, soft smile. "Every part of me is dark, down to my very soul. Only the very tip of my heart is clean, and that's where I've kept you-where the blood runs red. I'll gladly use it to protect you."

4) Zhao Yunlan's dream

If it was at all possible, Zhao Yunlan wanted to regain Kunlun-jun's powers and true memories. Failing that, he at least wanted to know what was up with all these lies among truths, shrouded in layers of mystery, and learn what had motivated it all. He couldn't act rashly without seeing the full picture.

Shen Wei... The name alone overwhelmed Zhao Yunlan with worry. It was as though a flame was burning in his heart, steadily eating away at his energy, but he had to hold it in-and not only that, he had to seem outwardly peaceful while he was at it, as if he had everything under control.

He'd noticed at times that if he was just sitting there and no one else was around, his brow would furrow subconsciously. The same scene kept unfolding in his mind, no matter where he was or what he was doing: in some cold, dreary place, without a single beam of light or sign of life, Shen Wei was half swallowed by an endless darkness. Helpless to do anything but look up, Shen Wei desperately strained to glimpse the emerald seas and azure skies, but they were beyond him. His vision couldn't pierce the unending, absolute blackness. Sooner or later, inevitably succumbing to disappointment and despair, Shen Wei was slowly sucked away into the darkness...

Zhao Yunlan jolted awake as someone abruptly nudged him. He found his heart racing and his forehead beaded with sweat.

5) Zhu Hong's confession

Zhu Hong found her real feelings tumbling out of her mouth. "Director Zhao, just give me the word. One word and I'll sever all ties with my tribe and follow you to the end, through hell or high water."

It was as if she'd handed her whole life over on a silver platter, leaving her scared of Zhao Yunlan's response, but also anticipating it. However, a declaration of love was never guaranteed reciprocation. In the end, Zhao Yunlan still wouldn't meet her eyes.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "You and I have known each other for years, and we don't have any grudges against each other. Why can't I wish you well? As long as you're doing well, that's what matters to me."

The light in Zhu Hong's eyes flickered out.

Questions:

Do you like the worldbuilding around borrowing years? What do you think about the kitchen scene, and how it was adapted in the drama? Which is more intense? Which do you like better? Is Fourth Uncle right to make Zhu Hong leave? Do you think Zhao Yunlan actually wants Zhu Hong to stay, even if he won't say it? Does it help with understanding what's going on that Zhao Yunlan is actively trying to puzzle out what's true and what's a lie?

(As usual, these are just conversation starters - feel free to answer all, some, or none, and to say as much or as little as you like!)

Our current schedule (which is also where you can sign up to host a post - please do if you can!)

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"Or conversely, maybe that's why drama!ZYL has so many coats/jackets? Because they're always at risk of getting clawed to death anyway, so why not one more? :D"

100% my headcanon now. :D :D

"Motherboards usually not being found just lying around tripped me up, LOL."

Lololol, this. ;D :D

but also now that I read this sentence again - he hadn't been that busy recently? Approximately a book and a half worth of events happened in the last week. xD

OMG, you're right! I hadn't thought of that, but it's so WTF now that you say it!

Hah, I just assumed that since Haixing is an alien planet, seasons (or years, for that matter) don't have to work the same way as on Earth, but I totally missed/forgot GCC talking about winters!

Yeah, I always go with that for worldbuilding anyway. I guess we just have to assume that year was an unusually mild one. *g*

Since 20 years ago Zhao Yunlan was a child (even though he also WAS the Guardian already because Daqing found him at about exactly that time), this kinda has to mean that Zhu Hong was somewhere else in Dragon City before.

True, she wasn't living with ZYL and his parents when he was a kid. Damn, now I really want that story!

Omg, I feel like once you put this together, it directly leads to the implication that Shen Wei should be asleep in this bed too. :D :D

♥ ♥ ♥

he can't really storm out of his own apartment and leave SW there. :P

He totally could, though. It's not as if SW, being who he is, couldn't access his flat anyway, whether he was there or no. And also he'd definitely leave if he felt unwanted (while also definitely still keeping an eye on ZYL).

That's very dramatically symbolic!

Right? I was thinking that too!

but ngl, him talking about marriage makes her response make a lot more sense than him talking about menopause. :P

100% agreed! I wish we had the Chinese version the official translation is based on, just to see how close the translation is ...

Oh, duh! Thanks for the reminder. *headdesk*

I love how your two different views put together mean that both of these problems could be fixed. :D

Hee!

"He totally could, though. It's not as if SW, being who he is, couldn't access his flat anyway, whether he was there or no. And also he'd definitely leave if he felt unwanted (while also definitely still keeping an eye on ZYL)."

I meant censorship-wise, you can't really leave someone alone in your apartment without the implication that they at least have the key? Because either you just locked them in, or they have to lock the door behind them when they leave. But it is a fantastic point that the Envoy can come and go without a key, the drama could have used that as an excuse. :D

Finally finishing my own comment!

Yay! *gives you a medal* (I am very nearly caught up ~~for now~~. :D)

Awww. He's young! Not used to being unexpectedly tired!

This made me LOL. EXACTLY! (So sorry you couldn't find the translation of that saying.)

Shen Wei's ZYL-managing skills aren't bad!

Ye-es. I find that kind of creepy in this context, tho? /o\

If she's been in Dragon City 20 years, is that also how long she's been with ZYL, or did that happen later? That's a really long time, anyway.

It is! I hadn't thought about that. So she must be fairly old, right? And now I'm going, it would be hilarious if ZYL was the second youngest person at the SID (after Xiao Guo). :D He maintains his authority via job title and sheer chutzpah ~~and divine right, I guess, given the Soul Guarding Order~~. :D (Do we know how old Lin Jing is?)

Ooh, and that's why before the drama version of the kitchen scene, ZYL wakes up with his phone in his hand!

I thought the implication was just that he fell asleep while messing around on his phone. (Sorry! Both things can be true -- the phone can do double duty.)

But I'm very glad there's no physical violence in the drama version.

Yes! I love that too.

It's so fascinating to me that in the novel, ZYL walks out, whereas in the drama, SW is the one who leaves.

In the novel, Shen Wei has just given him answers, but in the drama, he gives him more questions. ZYL is standing there, grappling with confusion and would probably ask more once he'd formulated a single thought. And also, in the novel, by leaving, ZYL is removing the reason for SW's cutting; in the drama, SW's cutting isn't motivated by ZYL at all -- Shen Wei is the one feeling like crap, and he wants to go away and deal with it in private (I think?).

Aw, Lin Jing! It's sort of sweet that the only reason he can imagine is imposed from the outside.

Aw, that's a good point. (Maybe self-imposed reasons usually don't make people leave home?)

And it's just hilarious that coats are for claw-sharpening in Daqing's world. ♥

Hee, yes!

At least her timing here is better than drama!ZH's, who pulls this right in the middle of a crisis!

Ha, true. Though her drama love confession does add to the tension in a delicious way, imo. Like, drama!ZYL is navigating so many emotional currents, right then.

In the fan translation, when they find ZYL sleeping at the SID, Zhu Hong takes off her jacket and covers ZYL with it, even though he's already covered with SW's coat.

LOLOL. Subtle, ZH.

Zhu Hong follows him quietly, thinking that even if the sky were to collapse, he would probably just look up for a bit, and keep eating his congee. She gets even more scared.

Oof, that's so effective, and it says so much about who ZYL normally is. (I wonder if priest cut it because it conflicts with the vibe, or just for pacing.)

And maybe the drama version just feels more intense to me because I'm more into it, but also, ZYL's reaction in the drama is so raw, and so revealing, and the novel's is just ... less, to me. Idk.

*high fives you back*

(Haha, I got so close to catching up, and then my dinner guest arrived. TBC.) (And by the time I came back, dozens of new comments, yay! But also, necessity of sleep.) (Hi! Good morning. I'm back again! :D)

LOL! Good morning! That's how it always goes, you catch up and then suddenly another deluge of comments! :D

Do we know how old Lin Jing is?

I have no idea, but now I want to know!

I thought the implication was just that he fell asleep while messing around on his phone. (Sorry! Both things can be true -- the phone can do double duty.)

I mean, yes, that's the implied in-drama reason for the phone, but the reason they wrote it that way is because of the novel scene. Another adaptation, you know?

In the novel, Shen Wei has just given him answers, but in the drama, he gives him more questions. ZYL is standing there, grappling with confusion and would probably ask more once he'd formulated a single thought. And also, in the novel, by leaving, ZYL is removing the reason for SW's cutting; in the drama, SW's cutting isn't motivated by ZYL at all -- Shen Wei is the one feeling like crap, and he wants to go away and deal with it in private (I think?).

Yes to all of that!

I don't think ZYL's flat has those kinds of locks? At the start of episode 31, he storms out and leaves his father there.

(I can leave people to let themselves out, and the door will lock behind them; I think being able to do that is pretty common here in New Zealand.)

In the vision from the tree he gave his soul fire to Shen Wei, so that's what he knows at this point.

Ahh, I'd completely forgotten that, lol. I was thinking of his seeing his soul fire in Shen Wei, when he was using his heavenly eye.

I love how your two different views put together mean that both of these problems could be fixed. :D

Haha, excellent!

I thought it was a general being-critical-of-everything kind of thing

I guess. Poor Zhao Yunlan!! Drama!Zhao Xinxi's "You've made me disappointed" and criticising his leadership is bad enough! :-(((

Yeah, I thought it meant he was only remembering the sweetness between them but not SW's anger and all the red flags.

Ah, thanks. I usually think of carrot-and-stick as a motivation strategy, so I wasn't sure.

LOL, I have entirely forgotten about it!

I don't remember exactly-exactly. But this pearl is like in Casino Royale when Q gave Bond a portable defribulator, lol. "Here, you're going to need this." (That might technically not be the right use of Chekhov's X, now I come to think of it.)

but inauspicious means inherently bad for others

I thought inauspicious just meant unlucky. So then whether it's changeable depends on how much luck is a law of nature that can be changed. Or is that like trying to make a rock have less gravity?

Maybe Daqing is just being an extra-fussy cat.

I think he is. skritches him :D :D :D

Maybe DQ is just used to being a cat, and he likes it like that (and the relationship dynamics it engenders).

<3 <3 <3

Or conversely, maybe that's why drama!ZYL has so many coats/jackets? Because they're always at risk of getting clawed to death anyway, so why not one more? :D

HEE! But most of the ones he owns are in pretty good condition, aren't they?

So basically, kneeling on Lego bricks? Motherboards usually not being found just lying around tripped me up, LOL.

That's what I thought. Funny that Zhu Hong is the one to use a metaphor containing computer parts. Maybe she does the computer support for the SID, since Lin Jing isn't techy in the novel?

This all makes 100% sense to me!

Yay! :D

Hi there! *waves* :D

Yeah, I understood the reason for the scolding, it was the content I was confused about. Because he can't exactly say, "You useless kid, making me uncomfortable by bringing your scary lover here to loom discomfitingly in the background, what were you thinking?!" ... or maybe he can. Idk. Ugh, this is horrible.

At least with ZXC in the drama, although I disagree wildly with all his parenting decisions, I can see where he's coming from. It's a kind of "spare the rod, spoil the child" mentality, and a disagreement about the best way to protect Haixing. With novel!dad Zhao, I have no idea what he hopes to achieve except venting. *wishes Shen Wei would smite him*

Well, he also does do that in the novel (plonking down on the random rock on Kunlun mountain or on top of the ladder in the library)

Oh, true. Good point. :D *uses icon of sprawling*

I think he's masking the taste of blood with herbs, and they're not necessary for any other reason.

This whole "elaborate subterfuge so I can feed you something you would never consent to if you knew" thing is hitting my DNWs pretty hard, ngl.

and 95% extremely enthusiastically looking forward to finding out the context of that. :D :D

LOLOLOL!! :D

I love the subtlety of the changes between yao cultivation and yashou biology. :D

Yes, it's so good. Great worldbuilding! :D

he can't just leave his own apartment and leave behind someone who doesn't actually live there. :P

See my other comment elsewhere. It's pretty easy to do here. (Or you can just give someone a key and tell them to leave it in the letterbox or something. It's not like ZYL doesn't trust SW about stuff like that.)

Maybe Daqing actually likes picking at the fish until only the bones are left. xD

Haha, a little game he plays with himself. :D

but also since even Zhao Yunlan had no idea that DQ could shift, maybe he actually was only able to do it on Kunlun Mountain.

Oh good point. I didn't think of that.

Omg, I never even thought that Shen Wei could be thinking this way, but it makes so much sense!

Yeah, I think that's why he goes down to the Seal or the Place of Disrespect or wherever he goes. He thinks they both believe he belongs there. :-((((( (Time for a rescue!)

I don't want to know what counts as busy to him, lol, like, just in the last week he was blind and then traveled to Kunlun Mountain, among many, many other things. xD

LOLOL! Plus, new relationship, lots of sex, all-night New Years Eve party, dealing with parents... it would be amazing if he wasn't tired! (But maybe this is a different quality of tiredness he can't put his finger on?)

Unless her uncle or someone else knows about the case itself and makes the assumption that obviously this is what the SID is doing next.

That's what I was thinking, yes. And that he'd made an informed guess what she was talking about and is playing it off as ~knowing~. But who knows.

but she never says that to him, or even implies that it's something that is important to her.

This is making me really appreciate that in the drama (iirc) she's politicised and says she has to stand with the SID. Being part of the team and protecting the world is a core part of her identity, on top of her crush. (The equivelent scene is in ep 30, 34:27.)

Well, except, novel!SW is correct about this, it's not just a belief he has - everything else about him is actually harmful to Zhao Yunlan.

I guess I wish he'd distinguish between harmful and evil/filthy/wrong, though? Like, think of it more like an allergy and less like a judgement. You know?

At least it looks good when his jeans get clawed. :D :D

AGREED! :DDDD

First time I've ever heard of anyone kneeling on one

Oh, me too. I suspect priest was searching for something less cliched than Lego. It's interesting that that's where Zhu Hong went, though.

it seems rash from the outside but it doesn't feel rash to him. I like this a lot! Especially when he walked right into the trap in the village and got blinded, and I was thinking the whole time that his reasons to do that actually made sense, at least to him. But he would never do something that doesn't make sense to him, so he needs more information. Yes, ITA!

Yay! So glad that makes sense to you! :DDD

then suddenly another deluge of comments! :D

LOL, I'm like drama!SW kneeling in the rain. (I'm nothing like drama!SW kneeling in the rain. That's just where "deluge" took me. ;D) Sweet, sweet comments! :DDD

but the reason they wrote it that way is because of the novel scene. Another adaptation, you know?

Right, yes. A little Easter egg for novel fans. <3

Yes to all of that!

\o/

Same thing here with the locks, and I thought they had the same kind on ZYL's flat, but I don't know for sure.

Hah, I just assumed that since Haixing is an alien planet, seasons (or years, for that matter) don't have to work the same way as on Earth, but I totally missed/forgot GCC talking about winters!

I hadn't thought about it at all, lol. The only weather I remember is the rain when Shen Wei's kneeling outside Dr Feng's.

Since 20 years ago Zhao Yunlan was a child (even though he also WAS the Guardian already because Daqing found him at about exactly that time), this kinda has to mean that Zhu Hong was somewhere else in Dragon City before.

Yes, and since ZYL's dad arranged for the SID to be set up for ZYL, Zhu Hong couldn't have been at the SID all that time either.

Zhao Yunlan is kinda technically being forced into both at the same time. xD

Hm, I'm not sure about that? I think he's being forced into a worldview shift about his relationship, and that's sent him into a tailspin. (What does it mean for them that SW is physically harmful to him? What does it say about SW? And then there's the lying, the forced medicating, etc. Can he still trust SW?). But no one's ever forced him into the relationship (quite the opposite!), and in the kitchen scene, he was the one who left, so to me it seems like LJ is pretty wide of the mark. Maybe I'm being overly literal, tho.

That's very dramatically symbolic!

LOL, whenever someone covers someone with a jacket or blanket, I'm always like, "But what if they were already exactly the right temperature? Maybe you're overheating them!?!" And this made me go, "Two jackets?? Really??" :D

but ngl, him talking about marriage makes her response make a lot more sense than him talking about menopause. :P

LOL! So true.

I thought inauspicious just meant unlucky.

Yeah - as in bringing bad luck to everyone you come in contact with, not just yourself. That's how I understood it, anyway. And to change that, you'd either need to change your state of being, or else change the laws of the universe. (Which I'm all in favour of, here! Change the way things work, please! But easier said from the outside, LOL.)

But most of the ones he owns are in pretty good condition, aren't they?

True! None of them look old - either he's a fashion plate or ~something happens to the old ones. *g*

Maybe she does the computer support for the SID, since Lin Jing isn't techy in the novel?

Ooh, I like that idea! :D

Yeah - as in bringing bad luck to everyone you come in contact with, not just yourself.

Yes, that's what I meant.

Which I'm all in favour of, here! Change the way things work, please!

THIS!!

Maybe it could be like a polarity thing or magnetic poles? Maybe they could find a way to make him extra super auspicious instead? *wants*

Haha, that would be hilarious!

I don't think Zhao Xinci would have a key, so I'm assuming so. (Though I guess ZYL could be so worked up he just doesn't care if the flat is left unlocked after his dad leaves.)

Yeah, at that point that's probably the absolute last thing he'd worry about. *g*

None of them look old - either he's a fashion plate or ~something happens to the old ones. *g*

He does have one distressed denim one, but I think that's deliberate. And ahaha, now I'm imagining Zhu Hong orchestrating a campaign (for the sake of the SID's image) where she, Wang Zheng, and Lin Jing all accidentally spill noxiously smelly or particularly destructive things onto those of ZYL's jackets that are falling apart (because he hasn't noticed and doesn't really care, and SOMEONE has to maintain standards). (Though in practice, I'm more like "let people keep their old, comfortable, shabby things!" ;-p)

Ooooh, this is totally on me then - I've never seen a lock like this irl (outside of a hotel), and they're always a bit of a mysterious tv-land-only thing to me. :D I didn't remember he left his father in his apartment either. Yay, I like it a lot better if the difference re: who leaves the apartment is there only because of the differences in the kitchen scene itself! :)

"Yeah, I always go with that for worldbuilding anyway. I guess we just have to assume that year was an unusually mild one. *g*"

A random crack idea just occurred to me - maybe Haixing is like Westeros, where seasons last for years, and it was winter when GCC was a kid. :D :D

"Because he can't exactly say, "You useless kid, making me uncomfortable by bringing your scary lover here to loom discomfitingly in the background, what were you thinking?!" ... or maybe he can. Idk. Ugh, this is horrible."

I think he definitely can, but also having the knowledge that he's lashing out because he's uncomfortable would already be incredibly self-aware of him. :P I think he was literally just ranting about everything Zhao Yunlan is and does, including liking men in general and Shen Wei in particular.

"At least with ZXC in the drama, although I disagree wildly with all his parenting decisions, I can see where he's coming from. It's a kind of "spare the rod, spoil the child" mentality, and a disagreement about the best way to protect Haixing. With novel!dad Zhao, I have no idea what he hopes to achieve except venting. *wishes Shen Wei would smite him*"

This may be one of the reasons why ZXC doesn't bother me even 5% as much as this asshole, yeah.

"*uses icon of sprawling*"

Omgggg, I'm making icons of my art, and the one with this scene was the first time I made, and only then I realized that I can't actually use it here. ;D (Because the comm is not age-restricted and an icon can't be avoided.) (You can go to my icons and see it tho. xD) But because of that I just went and got myself a different, sfw icon of this episode. :D

"This whole "elaborate subterfuge so I can feed you something you would never consent to if you knew" thing is hitting my DNWs pretty hard, ngl."

He is on the brink of death at this point, but I can totally see how there are definitely better ways to go about it, especially with all the time in-between when he's not on the brink of death.

"See my other comment elsewhere. It's pretty easy to do here. (Or you can just give someone a key and tell them to leave it in the letterbox or something. It's not like ZYL doesn't trust SW about stuff like that.)"

I think if they were sharing keys in any way it would have to be spelled out on-screen, otherwise everyone's first conclusion would be 'SW has the key because he lives there'. xD But yes, your comment made a lot of sense and I never thought of this possibility - to me these locks only exist in hotels. :D

"He thinks they both believe he belongs there. :-((((("

Oh damn, that's even sadder than just withdrawing and spiraling and going back to his old habits because they had a fight, and that was already plenty sad. D:

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Guardian Readalong: Vol. 3, Chapters 3 & 4

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