Guardian Readalong: Vol. 2, Chapters 17 & 18

[trobadora]

Welcome aboard for this week's chapters of our Guardian readalong!

Here are last week's chapters. You can find all previous discussions on the schedule post (vol. 1 part 1, vol. 1 part 2, vol. 2), or via the !readalong tag.

This week's chapters:

• Chapter 17: Chu Shuzhi is freed of the merit shackles; Zhao Yunlan catches up with the Emissary at Kunlun Mountain and takes everyone to the peak, Daqing transforms into human shape, and Shen Wei and Ghost Face battle, and the Merit Brush makes an appearance.


• Chapter 18: Shen Wei returns Daqing home, Zhao Yunlan talks to his father, and Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei have sex for the first time. Zhao Yunlan is unwell in the aftermath.

The corresponding part in the Chinese version on JJWXC/the fan translation starts with the last third of chapter 71 and goes up to the end of chapter 75.

Excerpts:

1) At the foot of Kunlun Mountain

Zhao Yunlan found a passably flat rock, took a seat, and drained his cup of coffee. Using his canine teeth, he plucked the cheese slice out of his burger and discarded it. There was no outward sign that he realized he'd made the Soul-Executing Emissary swell into a balloon filled with rage.

Shen Wei moved to shield him from the wind. "What did I tell you?"

Zhao Yunlan wiped his mouth. "Don't agree to anything the Netherworld says and wait for you to come home."

Enunciating so crisply that there was a pause between words, Shen Wei said, "Then what are you doing here?"

After a quick look around to be sure they were alone aside from the black cat, Zhao Yunlan got up and hugged the Emissary. It was like embracing an ice sculpture. "What's wrong? Are you angry?"

Daqing silently turned aside to avoid witnessing the train wreck.

Shen Wei pushed Zhao Yunlan away. "Will nothing satisfy you until I die of anger?"


2) Shen Wei's greed

As Zhao Yunlan stood there in his mismatched windbreaker and boots, his short hair whipped into a snarled bird's nest by the wind, another silhouette overlaid him in Shen Wei's vision: that of a man whose green robe brushed the ground, an image from impossibly long ago.

He was unable to contain himself a moment longer. Black mist rose from his sleeve and enveloped Zhao Yunlan, cutting him off from everyone else's view. He was for Shen Wei's eyes only, as though they were the only people left in the world.

Shen Wei laughed bitterly at himself. Thousands of years ago, he would have gladly died in exchange for one more look from that man...and yet, at the same time, he'd felt himself unworthy of sullying those eyes. But now his greed was bottomless. He wanted nothing less than to be his beloved's one and only, and to be the only one who could so much as lay eyes on him.

All without him realizing it, the seed planted in his heart millennia ago had blossomed into a demon-one from which he couldn't break free.

Shen Wei had been fighting both nature and instinct for all he was worth since the day he entered the world. Yet in the end, a single unexpected meeting had been enough to be his undoing.


3) Shen Wei vs. Ghost Face

Ghost Face reached out again with the same hand, now holding a huge axe. He swung it mercilessly downward.

Someone harshly shoved Zhao Yunlan aside. The fierce wind, reeking with blood, blew into his eyes. He was unable to force them open. As a great clang rang out, everyone turned to look and saw that the mountain of an axe had been stopped in its descent by a thick blade three chi and three cun long.

Below the axe, the Soul-Executing Emissary was like an ant holding up a behemoth. Fierce wind ripped at his sleeves, revealing slender, pale hands. There came a small crack as the Emissary twisted his wrist, and a corner of the huge axe chipped off. Then, as he turned to the side, another sharp clang sounded. The axe was driven a meter up in the air, and a thin crack started to spread from the chip through the rest of the weapon. It hit the ground with such force that a gigantic hundred-meter chasm opened at the peak of the snowy mountain. Countless youchu died under their master's axe before they could even crawl out of the earth.

"The Soul-Tempering Cauldron," the Emissary said quietly. "You're crazy."

"I'm not crazy. You've already taken the Mountain-River Awl, so you can have it. Sooner or later, you'll come to me with it. But the Merit Brush will be mine no matter what, and once two of the Four Pillars are broken and half the sky is overturned, nothing in the world will be able to stop me." Ghost Face's dark, heavy gaze swept around. "Why did you bring such an odd bunch with you? Were they afraid you'd jump ship on the spot?"

This was an indiscriminate attack, a slap delivered to almost everyone present in one fell swoop.


4) Zhao Yunlan and his father

Zhao Yunlan gave him a tired glance. Wasn't a brawl involving all Three Realms enough for one day, never mind the severe physical and emotional trauma he'd been through? Now he had to come out of the closet to his dad? But then, at least he couldn't get any more miserable. He let out a half-dead grunt of acknowledgment. [...]

"First, the clichéd question: will you break up with that teacher?"

"Absolutely not."

"Let's discuss this rationally," his dad said. "Tell me, what do you like about him? What's so special about him that he's irreplaceable? What about him is worth facing societal pressure and public opinion, never mind the issue of not having a legal marriage? Why is it that, even with all that stands between you two, it has to be him?"

"Mom's not as pretty as Zhiling-jiejie,20 so what made you give up on all the fish in the sea just to be with her?" Zhao Yunlan replied, impatience creeping into his tone. "To hell with public opinion. And what's the big deal about legality? I can draw myself a marriage certificate. There're all sorts of official seals sold near University Street carved out of white radishes. They're only five yuan apiece. I can put as many seals on it as I want."

"I'm trying to have a civil conversation here," said his dad. "What's with your attitude?"

Zhao Yunlan lowered his head and gave his brow a firm pinch.


5) Zhao Yunlan vs. Shen Wei's plans

"They all want Kunlun-jun to return. In order to awaken his spirit, they went as far as destroying your vision to pry open your Heavenly Eye and then demanded that you ascend Kunlun Mountain to face the Great Divine Tree," Shen Wei said softly. "I want him back too. I miss him to the point of madness. But I can't bear you going back to how he was. Kunlun-jun bore the weight of ten thousand mountains and rivers on his shoulders, and more-the natural order of things, the Great Seal, the Reincarnation Cycle... There's no room to breathe. I don't want you to live with that pain. All I want now is for you to be mortal and content."

Voice muffled, Zhao Yunlan said, "You were the one who sealed Daqing's memories and severed the connection between me and the Soul-Guarding Order."

Shen Wei shut his eyes piously.

"So I'll be a content mortal while you shoulder the weight of the Great Seal? Who are you to decide that?" Zhao Yunlan's voice rasped painfully, barely a wisp of sound despite his best efforts. "You accepted me that day because you thought a mortal life lasts barely a hundred years-over in the blink of an eye. Next time I reincarnate, I'll just forget you again, right? Were you going to accompany me on this last stretch and then...then follow in Nüwa's footsteps...?"

Zhao Yunlan dragged Shen Wei down by the collar, fingers trembling almost convulsively. His teeth gritted tightly together. "I'll never allow it! Not even in death!"


Questions:

How did you like the battle between Shen Wei and Ghost Face? How cool is it to see Daqing change shape? What do you think about Zhao Yunlan's relationship with his father? Any thoughts about the parallels in the drama? Do you like how Weilan's first time turned out? How would you have liked it to go, if not like this?

And the big one: I understand exactly nothing of what happens on Kunlun Mountain, or what's going on with Zhao Yunlan afterwards. Help?

(As usual, these are just conversation starters - feel free to answer all, some, or none, and to say as much or as little as you like!)

Our schedule (which is also where you can sign up to host a post - please do if you can!)

Comments

[trobadora]

I thought I was following the novel well enough until now, but here I'm just confused and have no idea what's going on with anything, so I'm finding it difficult to comment this time. But have some version comparison for now:

• This bit is in the fan translation, but not the official tranaslation, just before the Merit Brush goes into the tree:
  
  "Oh." Zhao Yunlan says coldly, "Turns out there are worms in my tree."
  
  Suddenly, something comes out from his hand, like some kind of acidic spray. The spirit beasts wail with inhuman screams; the judge is scared bloodless, and sprints away while saying, "WuHeiTang, it's... it's WuHeiTang..."
  
  WuHeiTang, five black soup, made from the blood of a black dog, black cat, black mule, black pig and black chicken, they must be born at a dark hour of a dark month, has black innards and completely black fur. Not anything particularly precious, but particular, and is used against those from below the earth.
  
  It's needless to say who this was prepared for originally.


• In the official translation, Daqing draws Shen Wei's attention to the phone; that doesn't happen in the fan translation. But as Daqing leaves, there's this delightful bit in the fan translation that's not in the official translation:
  
  With great relief, Da Qing opens the door and skedaddles. Sharing a room with the Soul Slayer is no joke; if it weren't for the douchebag Zhao Yunlan, it would not have left a whole fridge of dried fish snack uneaten and came here to suffer.


• Some of Shen Wei's internal thoughts in the official translation are spoken out loud in the fan translation, and he says a great deal more, too:
  
  "It's been five thousand years, in the heavens above and earth below. Is that all you have to say to me?" Shen Wei asks quietly. After a while, he sighs, "Do you remember what I said to Li Qian? I said, there are only two things worth dying for: first, for the country and the world, and that is for the sake of the people; second, for your soulmate, and that is for the sake of yourself. People have found love worth dying for, ever since the beginning of time. Since I'm willing to die for you, then of course I'm willing to live for you, seeking goodness to attain goodness. All this while, you've never shed tears, so don't cry for me."
  
  Then, Shen Wei gently strokes Zhao Yunlan's face with the back of his hand, "The true feelings in my heart didn't need to be said out loud, but having kept them inside for too long, it starts to become suffocating. They all want Lord Kunlun to come back; in my heart, I want that too actually... You're such a bright and clever person, nothing is hidden from you, so there's no point trying to keep these thoughts from you. Better to say it upfront - those who make sacrifices for others, no matter how willingly, no matter how discreetly, in their heart will always be the secret hope that the other might one day realise it. I am no exception."
  
  Shen Wei gazes deeply into Zhao Yunlan's eyes, "Sometimes I wonder, if one day you can remember everything, then I will be able to say to you: Look, I did it, I did all that I had promised you; not one bit did I miss, not one word did I go back on. At that time, what sort of expression would you show me? No-one is entirely selfless, Ah Lan, and that goes for me too... but I really couldn't bear it. Fate commands life, even the Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors had to follow a set path, Pangu collapsed, Nuwa's soul dissipated. You were the almighty Mountain God, but nonetheless subject to the same fate of the great saints before you... you had no choice. Lord Kunlun bore the weight of all the mountains of the world, such suffering, I couldn't bear to see you live in pain. Being a happy, ordinary human seemed a much better choice. When they all turned against you, on top of Mount Kunlun, at that time I really wanted... really wanted to kill them all."

[facethestrange]

Thank you for always sharing these! ♡ (And again, I'd be happy to explain things about these chapters, if they're not the same things I didn't understand. :D)

Wow, the first deleted scene is so creepy and kinda just needlessly makes things more complicated, I can see why it's not there. :P

"With great relief, Da Qing opens the door and skedaddles. Sharing a room with the Soul Slayer is no joke; if it weren't for the douchebag Zhao Yunlan, it would not have left a whole fridge of dried fish snack uneaten and came here to suffer."

Heeee. :D It is delightful indeed. :D (And I loved him drawing Shen Wei's attention to the phone, it's adorable, so I'm glad they added that!)

"Some of Shen Wei's internal thoughts in the official translation are spoken out loud in the fan translation, and he says a great deal more, too"

Oh, cool! It's not much different, just more, so I can see why some of it is gone too, but it was nice to read regardless. :D

[trobadora]

♥ ♥ ♥

And I loved him drawing Shen Wei's attention to the phone, it's adorable, so I'm glad they added that!

Yes, 100% agreed! I loved the entire bit with SW and DQ, I wish there was more with the two of them!

[trepkos]

Thanks for posting this!

[trobadora]

♥ ♥ ♥

[china_shop]

Thanks for the comparisons!! <3

In the official translation, Daqing draws Shen Wei's attention to the phone; that doesn't happen in the fan translation.

Oh, interesting! I wonder why they added that in. I feel like novel!SW has been fine with technology up till now...

When they all turned against you, on top of Mount Kunlun, at that time I really wanted... really wanted to kill them all.

No wonder everyone's nervous about what the Emissary might do!

[trobadora]

No wonder everyone's nervous about what the Emissary might do!

Do you think they can tell, or are they just guessing he has these impulses? Or does he make a habit of telling them? (LOL.)

[facethestrange]

This week I've had my ~liveblog~ written for like 5 days already, and it turns out that I answered most of the questions in it too. :D

"I understand exactly nothing of what happens on Kunlun Mountain, or what's going on with Zhao Yunlan afterwards. Help?"

Anything specific? I can't say I understand everything, lol, but I'm confident about probably 70% of it, so maybe I can help. :)

(Also I especially love that you chose the first excerpt, and the others are awesome too!)

---

"Unable to release him from the Soul-Guarding Order, all Guo Changcheng could do was tuck a throw blanket over him and put earphones on him so that he could watch movies and not be too bored."

"With a start, he realized that Chu Shuzhi was standing up—and the blanket was covering him now."

AWWWWW, this is so damn sweet and soft, and also I love how this book is just really, really, extremely in favor of putting blankets on each other. :D ♡♡♡

"Keep an eye on your Chu-ge and tell him to remain calm."

The fact that Zhao Yunlan trusts GCC to do that = ♡♡♡! (Except he has no time to do that, lol, and I don't think CSZ can hear the phone call? But he's still calm, so it works out!)

"The paper person bowed at him. Guo Changcheng hastily tried to return the gesture, only to accidentally bonk his head into Zhao Yunlan’s monitor."

Always so much love for GCC being awkward and clumsy in the cutest damn ways. :D :D

"Hearing that, the Emissary whipped around and found himself looking at Zhao Yunlan. He was dressed in hiking gear from head to toe, with a black cat trailing close behind, and carrying a cup of coffee and a burger, which he bit into as he spoke. With a wave, he said, “Have you eaten, my lord? I still have a hash brown.”

For a moment, the Soul-Executing Emissary—Shen Wei—wanted nothing more than to pound him into a hash brown. The fury that washed over him made even the black mist surrounding him tremble.

Zhao Yunlan found a passably flat rock, took a seat, and drained his cup of coffee. Using his canine teeth, he plucked the cheese slice out of his burger and discarded it. There was no outward sign that he realized he’d made the Soul-Executing Emissary swell into a balloon filled with rage."

I'm just quoting all of this because this is A++++ comedy and definitely one of my favorite parts of the whole book. :D :D :D I absolutely love Zhao Yunlan's entire vibe (dressing like he has any idea what he's doing, waving and offering hash browns, plonking on a rock in the middle of nowhere, removing cheese with his TEETH and yeeting it away, what the hell ♡♡♡), and the way Shen Wei's reaction is described made me snort out loud even on the re-read. xD Like, I feel for him and all, but the description is the funniest thing. :D

And then it continues being hilarious for a few lines more, but 1) I'm not gonna quote THIS MUCH lolol I need to stop somewhere, 2) THIS: "Shen Wei moved to shield him from the wind." This is literally immediately after the 'filled with rage' line. I can't with them and how soft they just are out of nowhere, in the middle of everything. ♡♡♡

"“Magistrate” sounded like a weighty title, but he served at the pleasure of the Ten Kings of the Yanluo Courts. By the time matters fell in his lap, he didn’t have all that much power. The Magistrate himself sometimes felt like his real job was to serve as a scapegoat."

I love how they nailed this vibe in the drama! (And everything else about him too!)

"Lightning and wind crashed together in the heavens. Looking up, one could glimpse a shape like that of a black dragon flickering in and out of sight."

The large-scale imagery being impeccable again. ♡♡♡

"Past here is the Kunlun Mountain Pass. My apologies, but we must trouble the Guardian to take us up there."

This confuses me a bit: They seem to be actually unable to enter the mountain without Zhao Yunlan. But Shen Wei was there to go with them to the mountain, while being sure that Zhao Yunlan wouldn't be there. So how were they going to enter? (Or does Shen Wei not know that it's not possible to enter without Zhao Yunlan? Or maybe the Magistrate is still lying, I don't remember what comes next. xD)

"In Shen Wei’s eyes, there was only one person in the world.

As Zhao Yunlan stood there in his mismatched windbreaker and boots, his short hair whipped into a snarled bird’s nest by the wind, another silhouette overlaid him in Shen Wei’s vision: that of a man whose green robe brushed the ground, an image from impossibly long ago."

Who was also a chaos gremlin in his own way ngl. :D :D (Which I know is the point. :D Also this part is just really lovely. ♡♡♡ And ALSO Shen Wei should be judging him for not wearing a hat. xD)

I love the illustration of Daqing's human form, with his cat eyes and fangs, but also I just see his YOHE self from the drama in this scene - it just fits so well. :D

"Holding Daqing’s ponytail in one hand, Zhao Yunlan dug out a cigarette with the other."

I love this ridiculous man's entire vibe SO MUCH.

"He pulled out a napkin, carefully wrapped the cigarette butt and ashes in it, and stuffed it all back into his pocket—very environmentally conscientious."

This is really sweet, and also such a contrast with him throwing cigarette butts on the floor in his new place, lol. At least here he's careful, and the mountain is his home too after all. :)

"As he thought those words, something brushed his fingers. Zhao Yunlan froze, then realized that a tiny, vivid green leaf had sprouted from the Great Divine Tree’s trunk, right between his fingers. It slowly grew into a stalk as thin as a strand of hair and curled gently around his finger."

Soooo lovely and soft, the idea itself and how it's described. ♡♡♡

"Meanwhile, Zhao Yunlan sat on the swollen roots of the Great Divine Tree. He had no place in the chaotic battle"

This (and the battle going on in the background) has a gorgeous piece of fanart! ♡ (And also I love Zhao Yunlan just chilling there and occasionally playing dumb at giant-ass Ghost Face just like he does at everyone else. :D)

"Ghost Face raised a hand and took the attack. There was a soft clang as Daqing’s blade ricocheted off—was his wrist made of iron?"

!!! We were just talking in this comm about the Dixingren who have this power. :D

"Though he could barely stand upright against the fierce wind, Zhao Yunlan successfully maintained his pose like a wise master."

Not even the worst wind can stop Zhao Yunlan from looking like the coolest person around who doesn't have a care in the world. :D

"Ignoring the pain in his wrist, Zhao Yunlan feigned a lack of surprise. All smiles, he said, “I tried to stop you so you wouldn’t get hurt, but you really don’t know what’s good for you, huh?”"

Damn, he really just uses EVERY opportunity to his advantage immediately. ♡

“Whoever gets home first, remember to leave the door unlocked and the lights on. Love you.”

This is so mundane-sounding in such a non-mundane situation, awwww.

"Daqing had to meow delicately and nudge the phone toward him before he even took notice. A jolt ran through him as he seemed to reanimate."

Oooh, so this is why Shen Wei can sit for hours and hours on Zhao Yunlan's bed and not do anything else - he kinda just turns off while waiting? :P (Also I adore DQ's shy meow! Like, he has to talk to the Emissary, but using actual words would be too much. :D)

*casually SETS ZHAO YUNLAN'S FATHER ON FIRE and proceeds to ignore pretty much everything about his scenes because I have better things to focus on* Damn, the fact that it later turns out that there were ulterior motives for the few moments when he's NOT a flaming asshole in this chapter just makes it even worse, which I didn't believe was possible on my first read. :P Moving onnnn...

"“I’m fine.” Zhao Yunlan pressed his forehead into Shen Wei’s shoulder."

AW. This, and the pitiful stomach holding, and the neck kiss, and the brush gift, it's all so casual and soft. ♡♡♡

"…And came face-to-face with a reminder that no one showered with their clothes on."

This was for some reason one of the most memorable lines from my first read, lolol, like, I know Shen Wei is too worried to think about that, it's extremely understandable, but um, duh, Zhao Yunlan is not gonna be clothed if he fell in the bathtub. :P

"Still not looking, he extended his arms and flung the towel over Zhao Yunlan. Blushing right to the tips of his ears, with the thick towel between their bodies, he carefully got Zhao Yunlan out of the tub, half helping and half carrying him."

This is so sweet and adorable in a way that is kind of pathetic of both of them. :D ♡♡♡

"Shen Wei’s throat felt like it was on fire, and his Adam’s apple bobbed."

I can only think of the 'you need to repay me' drama scene here, ngl. :D

"Slowly, he sat on the edge of the bed and gathered Zhao Yunlan close, still bundled in the blanket. He patted Zhao Yunlan’s back softly."

I'm gonna stop quoting every line where they're TOO SOFT FOR WORDS right now because it's gonna be ALL OF THEM. ♡♡♡

"Lowering his head, Shen Wei pressed trembling lips to Zhao Yunlan’s eyes. He kissed that stray droplet, tasting its faint saltiness and bitterness."

Except this, I need to flail about this because I just love eyelid kisses so damn much, and this is a gorgeous one, ahhh. ♡♡♡

“You were the one who sealed Daqing’s memories and severed the connection between me and the Soul-Guarding Order.”

Yeah, so when Daqing blamed being a yao for his memory issues, it really wasn't the case. :)

“You accepted me that day because you thought a mortal life lasts barely a hundred years—over in the blink of an eye. Next time I reincarnate, I’ll just forget you again, right? Were you going to accompany me on this last stretch and then…then follow in Nüwa’s footsteps…?”

This is just heartbreaking, damn.

"It seamlessly blended with the memory of countless intimate, tender midnight dreams from which Shen Wei had bolted awake"

I'm clinging to the word 'tender' here because it means it actually is what both of them want. ♡♡♡ If tenderness is what Shen Wei wants on the deepest, most hidden level, then everything else can in fact be blamed on the 'can't control his violent nature well enough' thing - it's not something that Shen Wei actually wants and has been hiding until now.

Um, so, the sex scene? I really REALLY love the lead-up to it, all the soft touching and cuddling and eyelid kisses, and even on the re-read the one thing that upsets me about the actual sex is not the violence or the dubcon (which are 100% perfectly valid reasons to be upset about it, for the record!), it's the fact that Zhao Yunlan is upset afterwards. And I know he mostly got hurt by the energy drain and not by the sex itself, he just doesn't know it yet, and I know he started out very very distraught already before anything even happened, but damn, if you upset Zhao Yunlan then you upset me too, it's just a thing. :P And Shen Wei really REALLY should be the one to do that. (Even if it can count as unintentional imo.) *sighs a bit* Still love them otherwise tho, a whole lot.

“Yes, you.” Zhao Yunlan said stubbornly. “Lie down and let me ravage you.”

Shen Wei lowered his gaze, the tips of his ears burning. He licked his lips awkwardly and asked, “What nonsense are you going on about in broad daylight?”

I just realized that deflecting Zhao Yunlan plays dumb and clueless, and deflecting Shen Wei plays shy and innocent, really enthusiastically and stubbornly and semi-convincingly, both of them. (I know he can't say 'not doing this again when you're still dying from the first time', but actually, why not? Zhao Yunlan is going to find out about the energy drain, and it's going to work out in the end.)

[trobadora]

This week I've had my ~liveblog~ written for like 5 days already

Hee! :D

Anything specific? I can't say I understand everything, lol, but I'm confident about probably 70% of it, so maybe I can help. :)

I honestly just don't understand what any of them think they're doing, much less what actually happens, but most of all Zhao Yunlan. What is he trying to do? What does he do? What does he find out, and how, and why? *tears hair in frustrating*

AWWWWW, this is so damn sweet and soft, and also I love how this book is just really, really, extremely in favor of putting blankets on each other. :D ♡♡♡

I really liked this bit, and GCC taking care of Lao-Chu!

I'm just quoting all of this because this is A++++ comedy and definitely one of my favorite parts of the whole book. :D :D :D

It seems like great comedic contrast, but I feel like I'm missing too much to properly enjoy the scene. SW doesn't want ZYL to be there and the Magistrate wants him there, and ZYL for some reason decided he needed to be there, but why? Is he just bluffing his way in to find more info? But he already talks about getting the Merit Brush in the previous chapter, and I have no idea how he thinks he'll accomplish that, especially in this company. Or why SW goes along with it all.

THIS: "Shen Wei moved to shield him from the wind." This is literally immediately after the 'filled with rage' line. I can't with them and how soft they just are out of nowhere, in the middle of everything. ♡♡♡

Yeah, so much of the description of SW's rage and darkness and whatnot is always immediately undercut by his gentleness, and I always feel like that's SW's self-image vs. his actual self.

I love how they nailed this vibe in the drama! (And everything else about him too!)

A lot of it, yeah! My first reaction was that the Regent is a lot more powerful than the Magistrate, but on second thought I don't think that's actually the case, it's just that a lot of the Regent's power is much more mundane, and therefore hits harder than it does when it's ghosts and such. Abusing power in the Netherworld is a horrible worldbuilding set-up, but abusing power in mundane ways is too much like real life, you know? (I hope that made sense!)

The large-scale imagery being impeccable again. ♡♡♡

Yeah, all this scene is like the CGI centrepiece of an epic fantasy movie, except no current CGI could do justice to these visuals. So cinematic!

This confuses me a bit: They seem to be actually unable to enter the mountain without Zhao Yunlan. But Shen Wei was there to go with them to the mountain, while being sure that Zhao Yunlan wouldn't be there. So how were they going to enter? (Or does Shen Wei not know that it's not possible to enter without Zhao Yunlan? Or maybe the Magistrate is still lying, I don't remember what comes next. xD)

All very good questions, I wish I understood that as well!

I love the illustration of Daqing's human form, with his cat eyes and fangs, but also I just see his YOHE self from the drama in this scene - it just fits so well. :D

100% agreed on both counts!

This is really sweet, and also such a contrast with him throwing cigarette butts on the floor in his new place, lol.

Haha, right???

This (and the battle going on in the background) has a gorgeous piece of fanart! ♡

Oh, that is lovely, thank you so much for sharing!

!!! We were just talking in this comm about the Dixingren who have this power. :D

Right? I immediately thought of SW's blade glancing off the Attendant's/Deacon's arm in the drama. And when ZYL says, later in this chapter, What is that brat made of? Why is he so hard?, that's like Da Qing complaining about the Attendant's foot. :D

Damn, he really just uses EVERY opportunity to his advantage immediately. ♡

Yeah! He's really really good at bluffing. I just wish I understood what he thinks he's doing, or what the point of it all even is.

“Whoever gets home first, remember to leave the door unlocked and the lights on. Love you.”

Except ZYL doesn't go home when he returns. Does that mean that he finds out stuff after this, in between where we don't see? Because I found that so confusing, but was that deliberately withheld from the reader?

Oooh, so this is why Shen Wei can sit for hours and hours on Zhao Yunlan's bed and not do anything else - he kinda just turns off while waiting? :P

Haha, yes, apparently! Awwww.

AW. This, and the pitiful stomach holding, and the neck kiss, and the brush gift, it's all so casual and soft. ♡♡♡

I think it would work better for me if could tell how much of it is real and how much is ZYL's usual playacting. Like, he's obviously genuinely depressed about something, but ... *shrugs*

This was for some reason one of the most memorable lines from my first read, lolol

It's a fantastic, hilarious line! :D

“You were the one who sealed Daqing’s memories and severed the connection between me and the Soul-Guarding Order.”

Since you're quoting this line, do you know what he means by "severing the connection"? That baffled me too.

Yeah, so when Daqing blamed being a yao for his memory issues, it really wasn't the case. :)

Yeah, good point. :(

This is just heartbreaking, damn.

It is, but I wish I understood literally anything about how ZYL arrived at that conclusion.

I'm clinging to the word 'tender' here because it means it actually is what both of them want. ♡♡♡ If tenderness is what Shen Wei wants on the deepest, most hidden level, then everything else can in fact be blamed on the 'can't control his violent nature well enough' thing - it's not something that Shen Wei actually wants and has been hiding until now.

I'm not even sure what "everything else" is - like, does anything not-tender even happen between them, apart from the involuntary energy drain? And I know this is withheld deliberately at this point, but I don't think it's ever actually answered either.

and even on the re-read the one thing that upsets me about the actual sex is not the violence or the dubcon

Is there violence? I'm not even clear on that point! ZYL is intoxicated and emotionally overwrought, and it's not the best idea at this point, but that's all I'm really clear on.

it's the fact that Zhao Yunlan is upset afterwards. And I know he mostly got hurt by the energy drain and not by the sex itself, he just doesn't know it yet, and I know he started out very very distraught already before anything even happened, but damn, if you upset Zhao Yunlan then you upset me too, it's just a thing.

Yeah, it's an incredibly depressing aftermath, and 1000% not what I want in a sex scene for a ship I care about!

But one thing that occurred to me this time that didn't before is that I don't think we're meant to take ZYL's complaining about the top/bottom roles seriously. This is all muddled by the danmei trope where bottoming has to hurt (which I hate), but I think it really may be just a misdirect here, and wasn't as dubconny as ZYL makes it sound. ZYL, suffering from the energy drain and not knowing why he's feeling so awful, is just latching on to something to complain about now, even if he was 100% into it while it happened. So that's making me feel a bit better about it all.

And Shen Wei really REALLY should be the one to do that.

Should be the one to do what?

I just realized that deflecting Zhao Yunlan plays dumb and clueless, and deflecting Shen Wei plays shy and innocent, really enthusiastically and stubbornly and semi-convincingly, both of them.

Wow, that's a great observation! So true.

(I know he can't say 'not doing this again when you're still dying from the first time', but actually, why not? Zhao Yunlan is going to find out about the energy drain, and it's going to work out in the end.)

I have no idea either. In the drama I have a good grasp on SW's secrets and why he's keeping them, but in the novel I feel like I'm still missing something crucial.

[facethestrange]

"I honestly just don't understand what any of them think they're doing, much less what actually happens, but most of all Zhao Yunlan. What is he trying to do? What does he do? What does he find out, and how, and why? *tears hair in frustrating*"

What he sees in the tree (and what he's reacting to when he's back from Kunlun Mountain) is the entire chapter 19. If that's what you mean, then it's just not spelled out yet. :)

"SW doesn't want ZYL to be there and the Magistrate wants him there, and ZYL for some reason decided he needed to be there, but why? Is he just bluffing his way in to find more info? But he already talks about getting the Merit Brush in the previous chapter, and I have no idea how he thinks he'll accomplish that, especially in this company. Or why SW goes along with it all."

The way I see it - he went there to help Shen Wei (in the previous chapter he starts deflecting instead of explaining exactly how though), and he thinks he can get the Merit Brush because he's going to try his best and doesn't see himself fail? And why SW goes along with Zhao Yunlan being there is explained: "Having the Soul-Executing Emissary see Zhao Yunlan alone first had very much been part of the Magistrate’s plan. If they were already at the foot of Kunlun Mountain, the Emissary would never allow Zhao Yunlan to head back alone, leaving him no choice but to take Zhao Yunlan up the mountain with them." (And why SW goes along with the whole thing to begin with is because of the message - the clouds that appeared are worrying, and he needs to check what's happening/do something about it.)

"Yeah, so much of the description of SW's rage and darkness and whatnot is always immediately undercut by his gentleness, and I always feel like that's SW's self-image vs. his actual self."

Oh, I love this! ♡ His self-image is based on who he actually was in the past, but yes, he doesn't seem to be able to leave it in the past where it belongs.

"Abusing power in the Netherworld is a horrible worldbuilding set-up, but abusing power in mundane ways is too much like real life, you know? (I hope that made sense!)"

It does make sense to me, and I definitely see that, yes!

"Yeah, all this scene is like the CGI centrepiece of an epic fantasy movie, except no current CGI could do justice to these visuals. So cinematic!"

That's one of the reasons I would love the novel as a Ghibli movie - CGI can't do that, but this style of animation can. :D

"Yeah! He's really really good at bluffing. I just wish I understood what he thinks he's doing, or what the point of it all even is."

In this case I think he's just pretending to know more than he does, so that he actually finds out the things that he doesn't know in the process.

"Except ZYL doesn't go home when he returns. Does that mean that he finds out stuff after this, in between where we don't see? Because I found that so confusing, but was that deliberately withheld from the reader?"

That's chapter 19. :) (Him not going home doesn't have any particular reason other than him being too upset to do that, though.)

"I think it would work better for me if could tell how much of it is real and how much is ZYL's usual playacting. Like, he's obviously genuinely depressed about something, but ... *shrugs*"

This is all very, very genuine in my book. He's specifically not himself, even SW can see that: "On the upside, Zhao Yunlan’s brain was still so sodden that he wasn’t making things worse with his smart mouth." And literally just saying "A gift." while giving SW the brush is so not him either, like, I would expect so much bragging and self-aggrandizing and smugness, and there's none of it.

"Since you're quoting this line, do you know what he means by "severing the connection"? That baffled me too."

I assumed it refers to Daqing not being able to find him for 500 years, but I may be totally wrong.

"It is, but I wish I understood literally anything about how ZYL arrived at that conclusion."

Again, it's not spelled out yet, but I feel like this specific part (how Zhao Yunlan knew than Shen Wei was planning to die) is never spelled out all that clearly, even later.

"I'm not even sure what "everything else" is - like, does anything not-tender even happen between them, apart from the involuntary energy drain? And I know this is withheld deliberately at this point, but I don't think it's ever actually answered either."

"Is there violence? I'm not even clear on that point! ZYL is intoxicated and emotionally overwrought, and it's not the best idea at this point, but that's all I'm really clear on."

I'm kinda just assuming from "Even if you didn’t check with me first, couldn’t you have been a little nicer about it?" (But maybe he only thinks SW wasn't nice because right now he physically feels like shit and doesn't know why.) And the scene before Shen Wei yeeted himself out of his body is not particularly tender either.

"But one thing that occurred to me this time that didn't before is that I don't think we're meant to take ZYL's complaining about the top/bottom roles seriously. This is all muddled by the danmei trope where bottoming has to hurt (which I hate), but I think it really may be just a misdirect here, and wasn't as dubconny as ZYL makes it sound. ZYL, suffering from the energy drain and not knowing why he's feeling so awful, is just latching on to something to complain about now, even if he was 100% into it while it happened. So that's making me feel a bit better about it all."

Oh, yep, I definitely agree with all of this! I never gave the top/bottom thing much credence at all because it very clearly is not the thing that matters. Not checking with him is the iffy part imo, but otherwise he is definitely just looking for something specific to whine about in a situation he doesn't understand. And he was into it, I have no doubt about that either.

"Should be the one to do what?"

Ack! I meant shouldn't. :) Shouldn't be the one who makes Zhao Yunlan upset.

[china_shop]

SW doesn't want ZYL to be there and the Magistrate wants him there, and ZYL for some reason decided he needed to be there, but why? Is he just bluffing his way in to find more info?

I think he's decided he needs to get to the bottom of the mystery, especially since SW knows so much more than he does. He's ZYL, he needs to have all the answers to operate, and right now, the answers he needs (to be able to understand what's really happening between him and SW, what it signifies, and why SW is the way he is) are about Kunlun.

Abusing power in the Netherworld is a horrible worldbuilding set-up, but abusing power in mundane ways is too much like real life, you know? (I hope that made sense!)

Yes, agreed.

So glad the Danmei trope angle has helped you feel better about the sex scene. \o/!

[china_shop]

This week I've had my ~liveblog~ written for like 5 days already,

Hee! *hearts you so much*

and also I love how this book is just really, really, extremely in favor of putting blankets on each other. :D ♡♡♡

Haha, so true! It's a universal love language, aww!

I'm just quoting all of this because this is A++++ comedy and definitely one of my favorite parts of the whole book. :D :D :D

Yes! That was my favourite part of these two chapters, for sure. :D :D :D

"Shen Wei moved to shield him from the wind." This is literally immediately after the 'filled with rage' line.

Shen Wei is such an unreliable narrator about his own feelings. Or... it's always more complicated than he'll let on. *pets him*

This confuses me a bit: They seem to be actually unable to enter the mountain without Zhao Yunlan. But Shen Wei was there to go with them to the mountain, while being sure that Zhao Yunlan wouldn't be there. So how were they going to enter?

Ghost Face (and presumably Shen Wei?) can enter because they have some of Kunlun's soulfire, apparently. Maybe the others were going to watch from below, or maybe Shen Wei could have escorted the others, and the Magistrate was lying when he said they needed ZYL there. Idk!!

Who was also a chaos gremlin in his own way ngl. :D :D

LOL, so true!! Also, hahaha, you're 100% right about the hatlessness -- that didn't even occur to me. :D :D :D

I love the illustration of Daqing's human form, with his cat eyes and fangs, but also I just see his YOHE self from the drama in this scene - it just fits so well. :D

Yessss! <3 <3 <3

This is really sweet, and also such a contrast with him throwing cigarette butts on the floor in his new place, lol. At least here he's careful, and the mountain is his home too after all. :)

I really love that contrast. Home is (unfinished) home, but the mountain is sacred. <33333

Ahhh amazing fanart! Thank you for linking!

Damn, he really just uses EVERY opportunity to his advantage immediately. ♡

Ohh, you're right! He totally does. (I'm trying to think of drama equivalents, but I can't off the top of my head. I'm sure there are some.)

> > “Whoever gets home first, remember to leave the door unlocked and the lights on. Love you.”
>
> This is so mundane-sounding in such a non-mundane situation, awwww.

I thought that was one of the most romantic parts of these chapters. Like, ZYL knows SW is mad at him, and everything is so epic and magical, but they're still partners who live together, and ZYL is never ever letting go of that. It's like the epitome of his quiet-domesticity dream. <3

Oooh, so this is why Shen Wei can sit for hours and hours on Zhao Yunlan's bed and not do anything else - he kinda just turns off while waiting? :P

I don't know about that? I feel like SW would want to be present when he was with ZYL. That this is his "turn off while waiting to be together again" mode, you know?

I can only think of the 'you need to repay me' drama scene here, ngl. :D

After the Envoy reveal? I can see that. :D

Yeah, so when Daqing blamed being a yao for his memory issues, it really wasn't the case. :)

True! I really hope someone tells DQ that!! (And presumably this confirms that SW was also the one to excise all the Kunlun info from the SID library?)

I'm clinging to the word 'tender' here because it means it actually is what both of them want. ♡♡♡ If tenderness is what Shen Wei wants on the deepest, most hidden level, then everything else can in fact be blamed on the 'can't control his violent nature well enough' thing - it's not something that Shen Wei actually wants and has been hiding until now.

Oh, that is a GREAT point, and gives me hope for their future. I didn't even notice that. Thank you!!! <333

it's the fact that Zhao Yunlan is upset afterwards.

Yeah, I hate that. Like, "one party is dejected and reproachful afterwards, and the other is behaving all weird" is the literal opposite of what I want for my pairings, you know? Thank goodness for all the unrelated-to-sex -- and meta/genre -- contributing factors that help to explain his reaction away!!

I just realized that deflecting Zhao Yunlan plays dumb and clueless, and deflecting Shen Wei plays shy and innocent, really enthusiastically and stubbornly and semi-convincingly, both of them. (I know he can't say 'not doing this again when you're still dying from the first time',

Ahhhh, that's such a good point! Both of them! Both great points, yes! Yes to their deflecting modes (fantastic observation!), and yes to the reason Shen Wei is being evasive.

but actually, why not? Zhao Yunlan is going to find out about the energy drain, and it's going to work out in the end.)

Because then he'd have to admit he's feeding ZYL his heart's blood, and ZYL would get upset about that and refuse to drink any more? Or maybe he's (irrationally) afraid ZYL would blame him, and like anyone, he wants to put that off for as long as possible.

[facethestrange]

"Shen Wei is such an unreliable narrator about his own feelings. Or... it's always more complicated than he'll let on. *pets him*"

Ikr? ♡ He must be SO tightly wound on the inside at all times, and to me the constant interweaving of the natural violent tendencies and equally natural tenderness highlights it even more than if it had been just a cycle of 'have an impulse, suppress it'.

"Maybe the others were going to watch from below, or maybe Shen Wei could have escorted the others, and the Magistrate was lying when he said they needed ZYL there. Idk!!

Yeah, either of these I guess, and also idk in the end. :P *shrug*

"Like, ZYL knows SW is mad at him, and everything is so epic and magical, but they're still partners who live together, and ZYL is never ever letting go of that. It's like the epitome of his quiet-domesticity dream. <3"

Ahhhh, ikr, SO SWEET. ♡♡♡

"I don't know about that? I feel like SW would want to be present when he was with ZYL. That this is his "turn off while waiting to be together again" mode, you know?"

That's definitely possible too, but also when Zhao Yunlan is asleep there isn't really a way to be with him? So maybe this sort of 'being on stand-by'/'speeding up the perception of time' thing would explain why he doesn't pick up a book or anything. He'd still be watching him and having all the feelings but without the awareness that he just did nothing but sit in one place for 12 hours. xD

"> I can only think of the 'you need to repay me' drama scene here, ngl. :D

After the Envoy reveal? I can see that. :D"

Lol yeah, I read "Shen Wei’s throat felt like it was on fire, and his Adam’s apple bobbed." and I see:



In this case I don't even think it was in any way an intentional reference (though who knows, maybe xD), it's just my mind happily in the gutter. xD :D

"I really hope someone tells DQ that!! (And presumably this confirms that SW was also the one to excise all the Kunlun info from the SID library?)"

Oh, yep, it probably does, though I don't remember where this goes (or if DQ finds out).

"Oh, that is a GREAT point, and gives me hope for their future. I didn't even notice that. Thank you!!! <333"

Aw yay, I'm glad it helps, it definitely helped me too! :) ♡

"Like, "one party is dejected and reproachful afterwards, and the other is behaving all weird" is the literal opposite of what I want for my pairings, you know? Thank goodness for all the unrelated-to-sex -- and meta/genre -- contributing factors that help to explain his reaction away!!"

Same, on both counts!

"Because then he'd have to admit he's feeding ZYL his heart's blood, and ZYL would get upset about that and refuse to drink any more? Or maybe he's (irrationally) afraid ZYL would blame him, and like anyone, he wants to put that off for as long as possible."

Yeah, I guess it was more of a rhetorical question because of course he has many emotional reasons to just put it off, just not really any practical reasons because it WILL be revealed, and he will have to deal with that, and it will be okay in the end (as much as he doesn't know the last part, obviously). The first part gets more complicated later, re: whether or not he wants Zhao Yunlan to know about the blood, but yeah, for now the assumption that he definitely doesn't is the obvious one.

[trobadora]

Maybe the others were going to watch from below, or maybe Shen Wei could have escorted the others, and the Magistrate was lying when he said they needed ZYL there. Idk!!

I figure SW could probably have brought them, but whether he would have ... It's not like he wants witnesses to his confrontation with Ghost Face!

And presumably this confirms that SW was also the one to excise all the Kunlun info from the SID library?

Good catch! Yeah, looks like it.

Like, "one party is dejected and reproachful afterwards, and the other is behaving all weird" is the literal opposite of what I want for my pairings, you know?

Seriously!!!!!!

[autodach]

Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei have sex for the first time

Hurray, finally!
This scene is apparently controversial in the fandom. Personally, I don’t consider anything that happens here dubcon, and I think Zhao Yunlan is only physically unwell, not regretting what they did.

I don’t get this whole everyone wants to top and hates to bottom(also bottoming hurts) thing in BL, but it is my understanding that it’s a popular trope or possibly a kink thing. No judgment!
But just once, I would like to see someone enthusiastically bottom…


another silhouette overlaid him in Shen Wei's vision: that of a man whose green robe brushed the ground, an image from impossibly long ago

Aaaaah Shen Wei!!!
I love this whole excerpt so much❤


How did you like the battle between Shen Wei and Ghost Face

The huge weapons make me wonder if they’re compensating for something. It’s very video game-y, haha.
Otherwise it shows well the larger-than-life scale on which the ghost kings operate.

I love the little jab at the fact Shen Wei doesn’t have his allies’ trust. A bullseye insult. And dangerous intel to have exposed to your enemies.


How cool is it to see Daqing change shape?

Extremely cool! Although he was already perfect in cat shape.


"I'm trying to have a civil conversation here," said his dad. "What's with your attitude?"

God what an asshole. He is the one who started it! He is the one insulting Zhao Yunlan’s lover! Attitude, my ass.
I still appreciate the realism in Zhao Xinci’s homophobia. He’s coming from a place of wanting his son to succeed in life. It’s painfully real.


”All I want now is for you to be mortal and content.”[…] "I'll never allow it! Not even in death!"

The back-and-forth here between “I know what’s best for you” and “it’s not your choice to make” is delicious❤


And the big one: I understand exactly nothing of what happens on Kunlun Mountain, or what's going on with Zhao Yunlan afterwards. Help?

A summary that helped me a bit can be found on the Zhen Hun wiki.
I’m also still struggling XD
And we have The Interlude coming up…

[trobadora]

This scene is apparently controversial in the fandom. Personally, I don’t consider anything that happens here dubcon, and I think Zhao Yunlan is only physically unwell, not regretting what they did.

Yeah, I don't see it as dubcon either, just probably ill-advised given ZYL's state of mind - he seemed to be having a full-on breakdown, after all.

I don’t get this whole everyone wants to top and hates to bottom(also bottoming hurts) thing in BL, but it is my understanding that it’s a popular trope or possibly a kink thing. No judgment!
But just once, I would like to see someone enthusiastically bottom…

Ha! Yeah, I don't get the trope eihter, and I especially dislike the "bottoming hurts" part.

And I feel like this is the opposite of what sometimes bothers me in fic (I mean in general, not Guardian particularly) where anyone being enthusiastic about topping is very rare and mostly it's the bottom who gets all the attention and interiority. I'd like all participants to be enthusiastic about what they're doing, please!

The huge weapons make me wonder if they’re compensating for something.

LOL! I do like the larger-than-lifeness of it all; it's really impressive and cinematic.

I love the little jab at the fact Shen Wei doesn’t have his allies’ trust. A bullseye insult. And dangerous intel to have exposed to your enemies.

Yeah, seriously! Poor Shen Wei.

God what an asshole. He is the one who started it! He is the one insulting Zhao Yunlan’s lover! Attitude, my ass.

Right? Boo!

Agreed that the homophobia is very realistic. And the was ZYL treats his father, the fact that he actually asks him for advice, says that they generally have a decent relationship, unlike ZYL and Zhao Xinci in the drama. (You wouldn't catch drama!ZYL genuinely asking his father for advice! Which is why Zhang Shi has to offer the same lines unsolicited, LOL.)

A summary that helped me a bit can be found on the Zhen Hun wiki.

Thank you for the link! That does help a little, and facethestrange cleared up some important parts for me, so I'm not quite as confused as I was, LOL.

I’m also still struggling XD

Glad it's not just me! ♥ ♥ ♥

And we have The Interlude coming up…

Interlude?

[autodach]

I'd like all participants to be enthusiastic about what they're doing, please!

You wouldn't think this is a tall order, and yet.

the fact that he actually asks him for advice, says that they generally have a decent relationship

That's very true! And adds to the nuance of their relationship.

Interlude?

If I'm not mistaken, we are about to get a couple of interlude chapters that are... challenging to those not familiar with Chinese Mythology. I was so lost on my first read through, I'm telling you. XD

[facethestrange]

"This scene is apparently controversial in the fandom. Personally, I don’t consider anything that happens here dubcon, and I think Zhao Yunlan is only physically unwell, not regretting what they did."

Hah, I feel like I'm somewhere else entirely because I do consider it (very mild) dubcon, but I'm not at all bothered by it (totally not my squick), but also I am bothered by something else - Zhao Yunlan being so upset afterwards. (But on the re-read I realized just how upset he was before, so now I think he may be just channeling that still, and also rationalizing why he feels so bad. Which makes it better for me.) I do agree that Zhao Yunlan doesn't regret what they did at all, and was into it when it was happening.

"The huge weapons make me wonder if they’re compensating for something."

*SNORT IRL* :D But yes, this: "Otherwise it shows well the larger-than-life scale on which the ghost kings operate." It's really cool to me!

"Extremely cool! Although he was already perfect in cat shape."

Heee, ikr, his cat shape is SO GOOD. :D

"God what an asshole. He is the one who started it! He is the one insulting Zhao Yunlan’s lover! Attitude, my ass."

Oh my gods, I KNOW RIGHT!! And don't even get me started on the ice cream thing. I wonder why Zhao Yunlan has gastritis. *yeets his father into the sun*

"The back-and-forth here between “I know what’s best for you” and “it’s not your choice to make” is delicious❤"

Oh wow, that's a fantastic observation, and they don't even see the irony, do they. ♡

[trepkos]

Jumping in late - can you remind me why Zhao Yunlan was feeling bad already, and what was draining his energy?
I did find it disappointing that they didn't both seem to enjoy the sex when they finally got around to it ...

[china_shop]

I feel like I'm somewhere else entirely because I do consider it (very mild) dubcon

I consider it dubcon (the lack of consent to the specific sex act, particularly when ZYL isn't in a fit state to make his objections clear), and it bothers me unless I factor in the danmei trope thing. Just as a datapoint. (Sorry if I'm repeating myself from elsewhere! I'm starting to get comment-dazed and should probably take a break. ;D)

[china_shop]

Personally, I don’t consider anything that happens here dubcon, and I think Zhao Yunlan is only physically unwell, not regretting what they did.

Honestly, I think a lot of my DNW reaction was the use of "dejected" (twice!). And since I often don't feel like the feeling-words are 100% right for the situations, I should probably ignore that when I'm reading.

But just once, I would like to see someone enthusiastically bottom…

YES, PLEASE! 100%

Otherwise it shows well the larger-than-life scale on which the ghost kings operate.

Yes, so true! It's super epic. :D

Although he was already perfect in cat shape.

Aww, yes! <333

I still appreciate the realism in Zhao Xinci’s homophobia. He’s coming from a place of wanting his son to succeed in life. It’s painfully real.

Yeah, and he's not interfering as much as he could, either. But still, ugh! (I assume the attitude thing is about ZYL's insufficient filial piety?)

A summary that helped me a bit can be found on the Zhen Hun wiki.

Ah, thanks so much for that!

[china_shop]

I'm going to start with my notes, and then catch up on comments, and then answer the questions in the post if I haven't already. :D

I love the blanket exchange with Chu Shuzhi and Guo Changcheng. *hearts them both* Chu Shuzhi has never had anyone look after him in such a soft way (or at least, not in the last 300 years), and Guo Changcheng has so much love to give and responds to any hint of kindness like a flower to the sun. So I'm loving seeing them get closer! <3 <3 <3

Yay, CSZ has his shackles off! Yay! (I wonder what CSZ does with his old bone possessions. I can't remember if we find out.)

The entire scene with ZYL and SW at the foot of the mountain is gold. I love it!! ZYL's lounging on a "passably flat rock" and being so performatively chill is such classic ZYL. I worry for Shen Wei's blood pressure, though. “Will nothing satisfy you until I die of anger?” Poor Shen Wei!

I'm still so vague about the Magistrate's plan. He wants to awaken Kunlun so that the Emissary will be restrained? Because he doesn't trust the Emissary not to turn into another Ghost Face? Something like that.

But before he even finished bowing, the Emissary had already turned and begun walking up the mountain. Withholding even the most basic of courtesies was a clear sign that he was furious.

Just like Shen Wei arriving to find the Regent at the SID. Nice!

But after the long journey, in the first moment he set foot on Kunlun, he fully and abruptly understood what it meant to be bound by blood. It was a profoundly peculiar feeling, as though a data cable had reached into the depths of his very soul and connected him to this mountain range.

And LOL, I love how it's a sweepingly epic situation, spanning thousands of years, and then there's the data cable simile. Such a fun juxtaposition!

Kunlun Mountain was sealed by ice year-round. It was as tall as thousands of men, majestic and craggy, and reached up into the very clouds. Here there were a thousand mountains among which no birds flew, and ten thousand trails with no sign of human passage.

I know the footnote says it's from a poem, but the description of the mountain reminds me of the Emissary himself -- sealed by ice, majestic and lonely.

Shen Wei’s face was hidden, but the weight of his gaze was palpable. However, when Zhao Yunlan tried to meet his eyes, Shen Wei feigned aloofness and turned away. Zhao Yunlan smiled bitterly and gave Daqing’s butt a pat, signaling him to get down.

Hm, I don't know if it's a translation thing or just a writing style thing, but often the adverbs don't land quite right for me, and that throws me out. Like, why "bitterly" here? That doesn't seem the right word. (I have the same problem with "dejectedly" in the next chapter, in the morning after scene. ;-p) Maybe I'm projecting too much of my own interpretation of the characters, but this feels like an object lesson in the dangers of adverbs.

In Shen Wei’s eyes, there was only one person in the world.

Awww! This feels so poignant, given ZYL is still not wholly the person SW wants him to be. But the possessive "no one else can lay eyes on you" part made me eyeroll a bit. Sorry, SW! That's not how love works. ;-p

I don't understand how Ghost Face got to the top of the mountain when no one else could. Does that mean Shen Wei could have gone up there alone? (Maybe someone has answered this in one of the other comments.) [Comes back: Oh, wait, he has some of Kunlun's soulfire, somehow (that I think we don't know yet).]

Awww, human form!DQ!! I love that it's loyalty and indignation (and presumably being on the mountain?) that makes him shift.

Below the axe, the Soul-Executing Emissary was like an ant holding up a behemoth.

That's so cool! <3 <3 <3

“Don’t make things worse, you damn fatty.” Zhao Yunlan rolled the cigarette between his fingers. Voice below even a whisper, he confided, “I’m a little nervous.”

Daqing’s eyes widened.

OMG, what an OOC admission!! No wonder DQ is shocked.

I don't get why Nüwa is there, but her snakiness made me wonder if that's why Fu You is a Snake Yashou.

I love ZYL being careful with his cigarette butts to show respect for the mountain. (I wish he did that everywhere. ;-p) And then, aww, making friends with the tree. That's lovely! <3 <3 <3 (I presume the little green leaf sprouts were the inspiration for the Yashou sacred wood in the drama.)

Meanwhile, Zhao Yunlan sat on the swollen roots of the Great Divine Tree. He had no place in the chaotic battle, and he finally understood the Emissary’s awkward position: Ghost Face didn’t see him as an enemy, but no one here saw him as an ally either.

Oh, this is all it took to clue you in? Maybe you could have had a conversation before all this! (I presume the Ghost Face-Shen Wei battle would be taking place anyway?? But having ZYL there must just add so much stress for Shen Wei, especially since the rest of the audience are revealing things about Shen Wei's political position he'd probably rather not deal with right now.)

So okay, the Place of Great Disrespect was where the Ghost Army came from that ZYL summoned through sorcery. So it's where youchu come from. And now it's where the mud that made humanity came from, too (the three worms)? Does that make us youchu's cousins?

“Before trying to hit a cat, you should check to see who its owner is.” Zhao Yunlan slowly turned to look at Ghost Face. His smile faded, leaving only a steady gaze. “You only managed to sneak your way to the peak of Kunlun Mountain thanks to my soul fire. Did you really think this was your territory?”

Okay, this is very cool! I love him defending DQ so steadily after that epic display of fighting and force. But also, I've forgotten about the soul fire. How did Ghost Face get that? What? (Has that already been revealed, or is it coming up in chapter 19?)

Feeling Shen Wei stiffen, Zhao Yunlan dropped his voice as though explaining. “All forms are illusory. Do you really think I can’t tell two different people apart?”

I feel like the drama took this line and really ran with it. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 (Especially that scene in episode 40 with Ye Zun coming into the Dixing bar as the Envoy.)

Aww, the Envoy Emissary protecting ZYL from youchu! I think I've seen that before somewhere... <3 <3 <3 <3 ,3

The Great Divine Tree seems about as willful and ineffable as the Hallows in the drama, lol. Forcibly ejecting Ghost Face's hand, drawing ZYL inside... <3 <3 <3

And ahahahahaha, ZYL was bluffing all along! My beloved!! :D :D :D :D <3333 Hee, he calls Ghost Face a brat, when he's just as bad, if not worse! I love his parting shot about leaving the lights on, too. <333

Daqing hesitated for a moment. His legs were stumpy and so was his courage

Awwwwwww! (You can see why Shen Wei didn't want anyone to know his identity! This can't be comfortable after having been treated as Professor Shen all this time. I feel like this and the later bowing at the flat led directly to the "Please treat me the same" line in the drama, after the Envoy reveal.)

Haha, I love that the freak weather made the news. <3 <3 <3

I'm surprised by Shen Wei's obliviousness to the phone. I thought novel!Shen Wei was better at technology. Huh. But he is kind of absent, given "A jolt ran through him as he seemed to reanimate." so maybe that was Daqing guessing about the reason for Shen Wei's nonresponsiveness? Idk!

I know his defences are low, but I feel like ZYL answering his phone to his dad was a terrible mistake, and hanging around to talk to him was another. He's already a mess, and there's zero chance of his dad making him feel better. Ugh. (The way his dad opens with a criticism reminds me so much of Zhao Xinci opening with "Zhao Yunlan, you've made me so disappointed." at the end of episode 30, and the way drama!ZYL just nods in response, like, yep, business as usual. /o\)

Zhao Yunlan gave him a tired glance. Wasn’t a brawl involving all Three Realms enough for one day, never mind the severe physical and emotional trauma he’d been through?

Is the emotional trauma yet to be revealed in ep 19, or did I miss what he's referring to?

ZYL: “Let’s talk about this some other time, okay, Dad? I’m really not up for it today.”
me: *pets protectively, and sends a SID extraction team*

I haaaaate that his dad doesn't listen or take into account his physical state. That's bothering me much more than what he's saying (which ZYL could probably have weathered no problem if he was on top form). :-((((

“To hell with public opinion. And what’s the big deal about legality? I can draw myself a marriage certificate. There’re all sorts of official seals sold near University Street carved out of white radishes. They’re only five yuan apiece. I can put as many seals on it as I want.”

I love this attitude so much. <33333333 He's a rebel, and he'll never ever be any good be just fine, forging his own path.

Derisive LOL at ZYL's dad using Anna Karenina as an analogy and immediately having to admit it doesn't fit at all. WTF?! And I hate that he completely overlooks the importance of friend-and-family support; he's all "mainstream society won't accept you, so don't do it", not "mainstream society won't accept you, but your mother and I have your back, and I'm sure your friends support you too."

I mean, I do like that he's trying to come at it from a practical angle rather than from a place of hate, and I get why social acceptance is important, especially in a country like China, but he clearly doesn't know ZYL very well if he thinks that sheer strength of will won't carry them through on a personal level. I mean, has he met ZYL's strength of will?!! ;-p

*skips the ice cream bit, because ugh* (Though it really is a trope, and I'm sure he convinced himself it was a "for your own good" kind of torture -- like giving up the love of your life for fear you might fall out of love later.)

Dad, I hear what you’re saying, but there are people in the world where it’s not about how great they are, or how it feels like you can’t live without them, but rather the feeling that if you do wrong by them, you’re lower than scum.

Oof. This sounds more like ZYL feels obligated to the relationship than that he actually wants it. I suspect whatever happened inside the tree will explain some of this, but I really really prefer the drama version of "he's good to me" (during the blindness arc), not least because it handily doubles as a criticism of Zhao Xinci's parenting.

Finally, he said, “You’re an adult. There are some things I don’t have the right to meddle in too much. Sometime when you’re both free, you can bring him over for a meal when I’m home.”

This is waaaay too little, waaaay too late. :-(((((

I wonder if ZYL suggests drinking together because he knows they won't talk, and he wants to spend companionable time with his father without being hassled about his relationship. :-(((((

I do like the "four things you shouldn't obsess about" speech, and the "once you've made a decision, no regrets" advice, here and in the drama. I wish I felt like this wisdom had made ZYL's dad (or whoever's speaking here) a better person. ;-p

Awww, "the pitiful way he had a hand pressed to his stomach" is so episode 8!! And aww, Shen Wei doesn't get to vent his anger and recriminations, because ZYL showed up in such a state. (That doesn't feel fair.)

LOL, the casual gift of the Merit Brush. Like, the way he hands it over, it could be anything.

…And came face-to-face with a reminder that no one showered with their clothes on.

LOL! But wow, ZYL is such a mess here: utterly utterly exhausted, traumatised from whatever happened in the tree, drunk, just had an unpleasant encounter with his dad, and then fell over in the bathroom. At least Shen Wei tries his hardest not to take advantage. And this:

On the upside, Zhao Yunlan’s brain was still so sodden that he wasn’t making things worse with his smart mouth.

LOL!!

And then they fight about who should get to suffer. *sigh* I suppose they're in no condition right now to figure out a way no one has to. ;-p

It had been the heart that was never able to bare itself; the heart that couldn’t be born, couldn’t die, couldn’t be forgotten, and couldn’t be remembered.

This sounds so much like the koan-esque descriptions of the Hallows. Maybe Shen Wei's heart is the fifth Hallow?

I think part of why the morning after hits my DNW so hard is that almost the entire scene leading into the sex is so firmly in Shen Wei's POV, with ZYL dazed and mumbling apologies. The only glimpses we get of ZYL's POV are things like, He barely knew what he was saying even as he repeated, over and over, "I'm so sorry." and He barely had the energy to speak. In all his thirty years of life, he had never felt such a crushing weight on his mind. And while they're both kind of anguished and epic in their emotions, and it's all very capital-R Romantic, it doesn't read to me as particularly lower-case-r romantic.

The illness/hangover/unexplained-at-this-point energy drain, and the forced "medicating" really don't help either. And I don't like the general dynamic of reproach and Shen Wei being embarrassed and pitiful. Oh well. *skips over*

Haha, as ZYL falls asleep, he tells Shen Wei not to start any shit. Talk about pots and kettles!

Ooh, this got long. I wonder if it'll fit in a single comment...

[autodach]

I love how it's a sweepingly epic situation, spanning thousands of years, and then there's the data cable simile

It's great! Really shows Zhao Yunlan is both an ancient being and a modern person.

her snakiness made me wonder if that's why Fu You is a Snake Yashou.

Oh 100%. I'm certain Fu You is the drama's version of Nüwa.

I presume the little green leaf sprouts were the inspiration for the Yashou sacred wood in the drama

Well, I wouldn't want to spoil anything by confirming or denying ;)

Oh, this is all it took to clue you in?

Hehe, better late than never!

I thought novel!Shen Wei was better at technology.

Phones are Shen Wei's mortal enemy. He increasingly loses his patience with them XD

Is the emotional trauma yet to be revealed in ep 19, or did I miss what he's referring to?

I think he's referring to something we haven't learned yet.

And I hate that he completely overlooks the importance of friend-and-family support;

Yes, this! Having your parents on your side would go a really long way! It's so frustrating, this circular reasoning of "I won't support you because you don't have support".

This sounds more like ZYL feels obligated to the relationship than that he actually wants it.

I interpreted this more along the lines of "I want to make him happy" and "I'm committed to the relationship".

[facethestrange]

"Chu Shuzhi has never had anyone look after him in such a soft way (or at least, not in the last 300 years), and Guo Changcheng has so much love to give and responds to any hint of kindness like a flower to the sun. So I'm loving seeing them get closer! <3 <3 <3"

This is the loveliest description of these two, and 100% accurate! ♡♡♡ AWW.

"The entire scene with ZYL and SW at the foot of the mountain is gold. I love it!! ZYL's lounging on a "passably flat rock" and being so performatively chill is such classic ZYL."

Ikrrrr. :D :D Like, he couldn't possibly try harder, while looking all effortless about it. xD xD

"I'm still so vague about the Magistrate's plan. He wants to awaken Kunlun so that the Emissary will be restrained? Because he doesn't trust the Emissary not to turn into another Ghost Face? Something like that."

I think that's the gist, yep!

"And LOL, I love how it's a sweepingly epic situation, spanning thousands of years, and then there's the data cable simile. Such a fun juxtaposition!"

Yes, I love that too, the experience of being a modern-thinking person who suddenly found themself in a historical fantasy. :D

"I know the footnote says it's from a poem, but the description of the mountain reminds me of the Emissary himself -- sealed by ice, majestic and lonely."

Ahhh?? ♡♡♡ This is fantastic, I love it so much, YES.

"Awww! This feels so poignant, given ZYL is still not wholly the person SW wants him to be."

I feel like in a way he always was this person - Shen Wei misses Kunlun a lot, but he wanted Zhao Yunlan to stay mortal and to live with him like that.

"OMG, what an OOC admission!! No wonder DQ is shocked."

Hah, yeah, when Zhao Yunlan admits that he's nervous, the situation must be DIRE. :P

"I don't get why Nüwa is there, but her snakiness made me wonder if that's why Fu You is a Snake Yashou."

Ahhh, I love this idea, and yeah, probably!! They wanted to have a snake woman at the beginning of the story too, it makes so much sense! ♡

"(I presume the little green leaf sprouts were the inspiration for the Yashou sacred wood in the drama.)"

And this too, eeee, I didn't think of it either, but yes! :D

"Oh, this is all it took to clue you in? Maybe you could have had a conversation before all this!"

I feel like Shen Wei wouldn't be willing to explain even if Zhao Yunlan was willing to have a conversation, so this one is kinda on both of them. :P

"So okay, the Place of Great Disrespect was where the Ghost Army came from that ZYL summoned through sorcery. So it's where youchu come from. And now it's where the mud that made humanity came from, too (the three worms)? Does that make us youchu's cousins?"

Basically, yes! There's more about it later, but yep, humans got contaminated with the same ~evil~ that the youchu are.

"But also, I've forgotten about the soul fire. How did Ghost Face get that? What? (Has that already been revealed, or is it coming up in chapter 19?)"

Yeah, that's a future thing (in chapter 19 and mostly in the next volume). But how Zhao Yunlan knows about it before he went into the tree, I have no idea - I'm assuming it's just one of the things he's bluffing about.

"I feel like the drama took this line and really ran with it. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 (Especially that scene in episode 40 with Ye Zun coming into the Dixing bar as the Envoy.)"

Oooooh, yep, I love that, thanks for pointing it out! :D

"The Great Divine Tree seems about as willful and ineffable as the Hallows in the drama, lol. Forcibly ejecting Ghost Face's hand, drawing ZYL inside... <3 <3 <3"

I'm loving all your drama comparisons so much!! I feel like that's where 'the Hallows just like Zhao Yunlan better' may have actually come from. :D

"I'm surprised by Shen Wei's obliviousness to the phone. I thought novel!Shen Wei was better at technology."

Slightly better than drama Shen Wei, yeah, but otherwise it's been an ongoing theme in the novel too. :)

"On the way, he couldn’t help repeatedly looking at his phone, even though the device had only three functions: calling, texting, and displaying the time. / Shen Wei wasn’t a fan of technology. He was a slow-tempered, antiquated man who still found writing letters more convenient. If something was urgent, he could write a quick note. If not, he could take his time writing, and so what if it ran a little long? And as for phone calls, well, you paid for those by the minute, which gave him the horribly uncomfortable sense that someone was scrutinizing him as he spoke."

"Is the emotional trauma yet to be revealed in ep 19, or did I miss what he's referring to?"

Yeah, I think it's just about what he sees in the tree, not yet revealed.

"ZYL: “Let’s talk about this some other time, okay, Dad? I’m really not up for it today.”
me: *pets protectively, and sends a SID extraction team*

I haaaaate that his dad doesn't listen or take into account his physical state. That's bothering me much more than what he's saying (which ZYL could probably have weathered no problem if he was on top form). :-(((("

YEP. (I love and completely agree with everything else you said about his father too. And I'm glad you did so I didn't have to, lol.)

"Oof. This sounds more like ZYL feels obligated to the relationship than that he actually wants it. I suspect whatever happened inside the tree will explain some of this, but I really really prefer the drama version of "he's good to me" (during the blindness arc), not least because it handily doubles as a criticism of Zhao Xinci's parenting."

His memories are muddled so he is influenced by what he saw in the tree, yes, but also no other argument was going to work in this situation anyway, so I feel like he just went for 'see, I don't actually do it because I LIKE IT'. Liking things is what got him abused as a child after all, and what got dismissed over and over right now. So maybe saying that he doesn't actually like something will mean that he's finally allowed to do it. And (unfortunately) that's the argument that DID work, instantly.

"This sounds so much like the koan-esque descriptions of the Hallows. Maybe Shen Wei's heart is the fifth Hallow?"

Ooooh, I didn't put these together, and now I'm very curious about some future lines about Shen Wei's heart that I found memorable (I don't know when that's coming up, but I don't think it's very soon).

[trobadora]

I worry for Shen Wei's blood pressure, though.

Haha, right? Poor SW indeed!

Just like Shen Wei arriving to find the Regent at the SID. Nice!

Ooh yes, excellent point! Exactly like that! I love that we got that in the drama, so much. :D

I love that it's loyalty and indignation (and presumably being on the mountain?) that makes him shift.

Yes! Agreed that the mountain definitely is part of the reason. And I find it so fascinating that ZYL didn't even know DQ could shift!

That's so cool! <3 <3 <3

It's for sure an amazing visual. :D

OMG, what an OOC admission!! No wonder DQ is shocked.

Yeah, if he means it, that's definitely shocking! And I do think he means it, but on first read I wasn't sure, because he could just have been sarcastic, you know?

I don't get why Nüwa is there, but her snakiness made me wonder if that's why Fu You is a Snake Yashou.

Ooh yes! I definitely think Fu You gets a little bit of Nüwa there. :D

I presume the little green leaf sprouts were the inspiration for the Yashou sacred wood in the drama.

Oh! That would make sense, and either way, the visuals are definitely related.

But having ZYL there must just add so much stress for Shen Wei, especially since the rest of the audience are revealing things about Shen Wei's political position he'd probably rather not deal with right now.

Yeah, all of is has to be Very Not Fun for SW. :(

And now it's where the mud that made humanity came from, too (the three worms)? Does that make us youchu's cousins?

Oh, I hadn't put that together myself, but you're totally right!

How did Ghost Face get that? What? (Has that already been revealed, or is it coming up in chapter 19?)

Yeah, I assume it's revealed later, but I have no idea how ZYL guessed it here!

I feel like the drama took this line and really ran with it. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 (Especially that scene in episode 40 with Ye Zun coming into the Dixing bar as the Envoy.)

Yes! And generally all the YZ impersonation - what good is having two characters who look identical if neither of them impersonates the other?! - but especially that scene, agreed.

You can see why Shen Wei didn't want anyone to know his identity! This can't be comfortable after having been treated as Professor Shen all this time.

Yeah, I really feel for him! And I want to thwap DQ and tell him to get over it, LOL.

I know his defences are low, but I feel like ZYL answering his phone to his dad was a terrible mistake, and hanging around to talk to him was another. He's already a mess, and there's zero chance of his dad making him feel better. Ugh.

Agreed, he should just not have answered the phone at all.

I haaaaate that his dad doesn't listen or take into account his physical state. That's bothering me much more than what he's saying (which ZYL could probably have weathered no problem if he was on top form). :-((((

Yeah, agreed. ZYL is on the verge of a breakdown, and all his father does is badger him, without apparently noticing anything off at all. I feel like, even though ZYL's general relationship with ZXC in the drama is definitely worse, ZXC would at least have noticed! And this guy just ... doesn't. :(

but he clearly doesn't know ZYL very well if he thinks that sheer strength of will won't carry them through on a personal level. I mean, has he met ZYL's strength of will?!! ;-p

LOL!

Dad, I hear what you’re saying, but there are people in the world where it’s not about how great they are, or how it feels like you can’t live without them, but rather the feeling that if you do wrong by them, you’re lower than scum.

Oof. This sounds more like ZYL feels obligated to the relationship than that he actually wants it.

Huh, that's not how I read it at all. I think he's saying it's not just about wanting to have SW, but that it goes deeper than that. And that he'd be betraying himself if he didn't do right by SW, which is why nothing anyone says can deter him.

but I really really prefer the drama version of "he's good to me" (during the blindness arc), not least because it handily doubles as a criticism of Zhao Xinci's parenting

Yeah, that's such a lovely line! I adore it.

This is waaaay too little, waaaay too late. :-(((((

Though still more than I'd have expected after the rest of the conversation!

And aww, Shen Wei doesn't get to vent his anger and recriminations, because ZYL showed up in such a state. (That doesn't feel fair.)

Oh, yeah, that's a good point, ouch!

And then they fight about who should get to suffer. *sigh* I suppose they're in no condition right now to figure out a way no one has to. ;-p

Ha, I wish!

This sounds so much like the koan-esque descriptions of the Hallows. Maybe Shen Wei's heart is the fifth Hallow?

Wow, you're right, it's very reminiscent of the Hallows description! I wonder if that means anything ...

Ooh, this got long. I wonder if it'll fit in a single comment...

♥ ♥ ♥