This is the kind of skill that goes out the window for many people when their emotions are strongly involved, so I can see that it might become unexpectedly problematic when the strong emotions of romance are involved. But I have seen *so many* otherwise good communicators act as though they have never met another human being when in conflict with close friends, or siblings, or parents and kids - whenever the emotional stakes are high and emotions cut in front of their reasoning brain.

So again, I really don't think this is something that is restricted to romantic relationships, and must necessarily be practiced in exactly that context. (Which is a good thing, because I very much doubt Zhao Yunlan could ever have had a context like this before, given the arguments he has with Shen Wei are often about Shen Wei not seeing himself as a person who has value as anything but a weapon, and other things of that nature. *g*)

Plus I also think Zhao Yunlan is far from being a typically competent communicator - he is basically a contestant for the Olympic gold medal in communicating. ;-)