Surprising no one, I've been thinking about this more. I'm pretty sure I'm an outlier in the fandom because I don't find Shen Wei's reaction particularly sad or upsetting.
Hmmm, it doesn't make me sad or upset, but I still think it's sad and upsetting, if that makes any sense? Not because of either the smile or the words or the overlap, precisely, but because no matter how well he knows Zhao Yunlan, he still thinks any of this can be reassuring to him, and it's just not.
But you're making me wonder whether any of us are actually talking about the same thing that's sad/upsetting/not reassuring to either us or to Zhao Yunlan ... *g*
So for me, the smile is "I'm glad I could heal your eyes, I would have done anything to heal you, and I have zero regrets" -- just amped up to be more reassuring (lol). And the "fortunately I'm used to getting injured" is "I'm strong, I can handle it, I'll get through this." (Which is just practical, right? He's like someone who's just donated a kidney to save a relative... except he did it possibly unintentionally and by stealth.)
100% agreed on all of this, that's exactly how I interpret it too.
(Sorry, everyone! Does this make me a terrible person?)
LOL, no. Again I'm entirely with you - Shen Wei can handle it, and I like that about him! If the narrative didn't give him these chances to show he can handle stuff like this, he wouldn't be my favourite character the way he is. *g*
(Lots of people are into whump and/or h/c because they like seeing people broken down or broken open, but that's the opposite of what I like - I like whump when it's all about showing off someone's resilience and endurance under tough circumstances, you know? THAT is what I love.)
But just because I think SW is right, dosen't mean it's reassuring, because there's nothing reassuring about having been hurt/injured often enough that you're used to it, even if you CAN handle it perfectly fine. And that's sad in general because of what it says about the life he's lead, you know? And it's upsetting to Zhao Yunlan in particular because he (of course!) wants them to be good to and for each other, and here he is just another item in the long list of things that have hurt Shen Wei. Which is the absolute last thing he wants to be!
And oh, maybe part of the reason ZYL is so upset is that deep down he is accepting it. He doesn't ask, "Is there a way to undo it? Come on, we're reversing the damage and blinding me again." (Cf the reverse healing in Dr Feng's clinic.) He accepts Shen Wei's gift-sacrifice, and that's the part that hurts him the most?
Huh, yeah, that's a good thought - I don't think it's the only think but that has to be part of it, that he's been given this gift-sacrifice (great term) and he can't/won't turn it down, and there's no way to pay it back (not that SW would want that), and what does that make him? What does that mean for them? That has to be part of why he's lashing out at SW and (rhetorically) asking what he's expecting in return.
no subject
Hmmm, it doesn't make me sad or upset, but I still think it's sad and upsetting, if that makes any sense? Not because of either the smile or the words or the overlap, precisely, but because no matter how well he knows Zhao Yunlan, he still thinks any of this can be reassuring to him, and it's just not.
But you're making me wonder whether any of us are actually talking about the same thing that's sad/upsetting/not reassuring to either us or to Zhao Yunlan ... *g*
So for me, the smile is "I'm glad I could heal your eyes, I would have done anything to heal you, and I have zero regrets" -- just amped up to be more reassuring (lol). And the "fortunately I'm used to getting injured" is "I'm strong, I can handle it, I'll get through this." (Which is just practical, right? He's like someone who's just donated a kidney to save a relative... except he did it possibly unintentionally and by stealth.)
100% agreed on all of this, that's exactly how I interpret it too.
(Sorry, everyone! Does this make me a terrible person?)
LOL, no. Again I'm entirely with you - Shen Wei can handle it, and I like that about him! If the narrative didn't give him these chances to show he can handle stuff like this, he wouldn't be my favourite character the way he is. *g*
(Lots of people are into whump and/or h/c because they like seeing people broken down or broken open, but that's the opposite of what I like - I like whump when it's all about showing off someone's resilience and endurance under tough circumstances, you know? THAT is what I love.)
But just because I think SW is right, dosen't mean it's reassuring, because there's nothing reassuring about having been hurt/injured often enough that you're used to it, even if you CAN handle it perfectly fine. And that's sad in general because of what it says about the life he's lead, you know? And it's upsetting to Zhao Yunlan in particular because he (of course!) wants them to be good to and for each other, and here he is just another item in the long list of things that have hurt Shen Wei. Which is the absolute last thing he wants to be!
And oh, maybe part of the reason ZYL is so upset is that deep down he is accepting it. He doesn't ask, "Is there a way to undo it? Come on, we're reversing the damage and blinding me again." (Cf the reverse healing in Dr Feng's clinic.) He accepts Shen Wei's gift-sacrifice, and that's the part that hurts him the most?
Huh, yeah, that's a good thought - I don't think it's the only think but that has to be part of it, that he's been given this gift-sacrifice (great term) and he can't/won't turn it down, and there's no way to pay it back (not that SW would want that), and what does that make him? What does that mean for them? That has to be part of why he's lashing out at SW and (rhetorically) asking what he's expecting in return.