Surprising no one, I've been thinking about this more. I'm pretty sure I'm an outlier in the fandom because I don't find Shen Wei's reaction particularly sad or upsetting. (I keep framing it as upsetting because I know it is for a lot of people, and definitely for ZYL.) To me, the smile and the words are separate things which unfortunately overlap, and I think it's the overlap that bothers most people the most?
So for me, the smile is "I'm glad I could heal your eyes, I would have done anything to heal you, and I have zero regrets" -- just amped up to be more reassuring (lol). And the "fortunately I'm used to getting injured" is "I'm strong, I can handle it, I'll get through this." (Which is just practical, right? He's like someone who's just donated a kidney to save a relative... except he did it possibly unintentionally and by stealth.)
ZYL wants his eyes to have been healed at no cost to anyone, but that was never going to happen (has he MET the Hallows?), and I personally would much rather see Shen Wei suffering here than Da Qing or Xiao Guo or even some random innocent someone who couldn't handle it. (Sorry, everyone! Does this make me a terrible person?)
And oh, maybe part of the reason ZYL is so upset is that deep down he is accepting it. He doesn't ask, "Is there a way to undo it? Come on, we're reversing the damage and blinding me again." (Cf the reverse healing in Dr Feng's clinic.) He accepts Shen Wei's gift-sacrifice, and that's the part that hurts him the most?
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So for me, the smile is "I'm glad I could heal your eyes, I would have done anything to heal you, and I have zero regrets" -- just amped up to be more reassuring (lol). And the "fortunately I'm used to getting injured" is "I'm strong, I can handle it, I'll get through this." (Which is just practical, right? He's like someone who's just donated a kidney to save a relative... except he did it possibly unintentionally and by stealth.)
ZYL wants his eyes to have been healed at no cost to anyone, but that was never going to happen (has he MET the Hallows?), and I personally would much rather see Shen Wei suffering here than Da Qing or Xiao Guo or even some random innocent someone who couldn't handle it. (Sorry, everyone! Does this make me a terrible person?)
And oh, maybe part of the reason ZYL is so upset is that deep down he is accepting it. He doesn't ask, "Is there a way to undo it? Come on, we're reversing the damage and blinding me again." (Cf the reverse healing in Dr Feng's clinic.) He accepts Shen Wei's gift-sacrifice, and that's the part that hurts him the most?