Which just made me realize that loneliness was intentionally built into his situation
Oh, yeah, absolutely. The isolation is part of the abuse. :-(((
I just had a epiphany! Which I think is an obvious one, but I didn't get it until now, and now I really get why ZYL is so upset - he saved Shen Wei from living a life not of his own choosing by giving him a different life, also not of his own choosing. D:
Ohh, yes! It's that!! Great framing!!! And even if SW protested that he would have chosen it (which he does in the previous chapter, right? he was glad to be able to relieve Kunlun of the burden?), that actually makes it worse in a way, because a) ZYL viscerally understands now how much of a burden it is, and b) SW took it on to save him. (And as we know, ZYL hates having people sacrifice on his behalf (or is that something I'm importing from the novel? *gets tangled up in canons* ;-)
Oh, and now I'm thinking it's there just to say that no matter how well sealed everything is, a part of the evil has already escaped and you can't put it back. And now that I realized that, it's really not weird anymore to have this sentence there. xD
Hee! I confused everything by taking it out of context. My bad. ;-D
Yeah, I guess so, but then he'd still have nothing to repay for imo?
I think he's repaying for the kowtowing itself? Like, isn't the whole point of kowtowing in this kind of situation to lower oneself, basically trading one's status in exchange for a boon from the receiver? It's how you try to put a powerful person into a position of indebtedness, or repay your own indebtedness? (And that's why ZYL says in the kitchen scene in the drama "Then, what do you want me to do? Be indebted to you? To bow to you?" Because fealty/obeisance would be one way ZYL could pay SW back -- but that would radically change their dynamic in ways neither of them wants, which is why SW is forced to admit the truth that he's been hiding: that he's (in some sense that is both important and completely unimportant) settling his own debt.)
ETA: And Daqing's licking the blood drew attention to the fact that Chiyou, a war god, a kowtowed to the point that his forehead was bleeding, and that's what forces him onto "the path he had so desperately tried and failed to avoid". (But I might be wildly wrong about all this!)
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Oh, yeah, absolutely. The isolation is part of the abuse. :-(((
I just had a epiphany! Which I think is an obvious one, but I didn't get it until now, and now I really get why ZYL is so upset - he saved Shen Wei from living a life not of his own choosing by giving him a different life, also not of his own choosing. D:
Ohh, yes! It's that!! Great framing!!! And even if SW protested that he would have chosen it (which he does in the previous chapter, right? he was glad to be able to relieve Kunlun of the burden?), that actually makes it worse in a way, because a) ZYL viscerally understands now how much of a burden it is, and b) SW took it on to save him. (And as we know, ZYL hates having people sacrifice on his behalf (or is that something I'm importing from the novel? *gets tangled up in canons* ;-)
Oh, and now I'm thinking it's there just to say that no matter how well sealed everything is, a part of the evil has already escaped and you can't put it back. And now that I realized that, it's really not weird anymore to have this sentence there. xD
Hee! I confused everything by taking it out of context. My bad. ;-D
Yeah, I guess so, but then he'd still have nothing to repay for imo?
I think he's repaying for the kowtowing itself? Like, isn't the whole point of kowtowing in this kind of situation to lower oneself, basically trading one's status in exchange for a boon from the receiver? It's how you try to put a powerful person into a position of indebtedness, or repay your own indebtedness? (And that's why ZYL says in the kitchen scene in the drama "Then, what do you want me to do? Be indebted to you? To bow to you?" Because fealty/obeisance would be one way ZYL could pay SW back -- but that would radically change their dynamic in ways neither of them wants, which is why SW is forced to admit the truth that he's been hiding: that he's (in some sense that is both important and completely unimportant) settling his own debt.)
ETA: And Daqing's licking the blood drew attention to the fact that Chiyou, a war god, a kowtowed to the point that his forehead was bleeding, and that's what forces him onto "the path he had so desperately tried and failed to avoid". (But I might be wildly wrong about all this!)