But also in my experience no one ever does. Like, even when people's opinions seem to completely overlap, if you dig deep enough you'll find all kinds of differences, especially in why they hold the opinion, but also in which parts of it are the important ones, and probably in a million other ways. I think that's really cool. :D
Oh, yes, so cool!
*thinks more* I think... part of me is resisting (and this may be why I don't really get h/c generally) the imposition of sympathy and concern. I feel like "I'm insisting that this is worse than you will admit" only makes the hurt person feel worse and weakens their inner defences (which might be all that's holding them together!). To me, in most instances (but not all!) the kind and supportive thing is to take one's cues from the hurt person about how much comfort they actually want.
This may not be one of those instances! And obviously, the closer you are to the hurt person, the more it gets complicated by your own perfectly valid feelings about the situation. But in general, ZYL's fraught reaction does make the whole thing worse for SW (and ZYL is too worked up to think about that) -- though it does lead to what makes it better for SW in the moment: his own reiteration of his truths, "You're worth it," and "This life is what I'm returning to you." Idk.
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Oh, yes, so cool!
*thinks more* I think... part of me is resisting (and this may be why I don't really get h/c generally) the imposition of sympathy and concern. I feel like "I'm insisting that this is worse than you will admit" only makes the hurt person feel worse and weakens their inner defences (which might be all that's holding them together!). To me, in most instances (but not all!) the kind and supportive thing is to take one's cues from the hurt person about how much comfort they actually want.
This may not be one of those instances! And obviously, the closer you are to the hurt person, the more it gets complicated by your own perfectly valid feelings about the situation. But in general, ZYL's fraught reaction does make the whole thing worse for SW (and ZYL is too worked up to think about that) -- though it does lead to what makes it better for SW in the moment: his own reiteration of his truths, "You're worth it," and "This life is what I'm returning to you." Idk.