The Art of Dialogue and the kitchen knife scene

[china_shop]

I was watching a YouTube video about how to write snappy dialogue (banter) by heyjameshurst. The creator used examples from The Princess Bride, The Empire Strikes Back, His Girl Friday, and The West Wing to illustrate that good dialogue is like a tennis match, a playful competition, and in each volley the tension escalates to "a sudden, sharp reveal of truth."

Afterwards, I was thinking about it in terms of Guardian, and the first scene that came to mind was the kitchen knife scene. Wow, this is a stellar example of what the video talked about! It's dynamic because every line fires back in a way that is difficult for the other person to respond to. (Often they're reacting to the subtext -- or actually, what they perceive the other's subtext to be -- rather than the words, and sometimes slightly at cross-purposes, so lines that could be non-sequiturs feel seamless.) And the truth is forced out of them. It's so impressive!

ZYL: I woke up because I was hungry.
SW: *turns and drops the knife*
ZYL: *strides over and grabs his wrist* Don't you think of lying to me. What did you do in order to heal my eyes?
SW: *starts to leave*
ZYL: You used the Longevity Dial.
SW: *stops*
ZYL: *moves to his side* You shared your life force with mine. You used your power to neutralize the corrosion of my body. Am I right?
SW: My... My... My body's energy structure has suffered a severe blow. I need to exchange all my energy.
ZYL: It must hurt a lot.
SW: *ghastly smile* Fortunately... Fortunately, I'm used to getting injured.
ZYL: I do not deserve what you are doing for me.
SW: You're worth it.
ZYL: *explodes* Then, what do you want me to do? Be indebted to you? To bow to you? You are not immortal! Why should I so casually owe you a life?
SW: This life is what I'm returning to you.
ZYL: ??????
SW: You should rest soon.

There are so many truths here!! <3 <3 <3

Thinking about it also made me realise something about Shen Wei's initially trying to leave and his "Fortunately, I'm used to getting injured" line, which I will explain in six screencaps:













Newsflash, Shen Wei: Zhao Yunlan's tactics are no more reassuring or less infuriating when you try them.

Comments

[trobadora]

assault with deadly handkerchief. :D

My favourite! :D

And that's a fantastic observation about the pattern, I never noticed it before either!

[trobadora]

That's all so true about SW's style of care, I adore it. :D

[trobadora]

I always think he must feel very unmoored later, though, when it's had time to sink in that he's so far from home and from a Shen Wei who ~knows~ him.

Yeah, totally agreed! One more reason to wish the YOHE sequence was longer, so it had the space to actually show this.

[trobadora]

I wonder how much our reactions to it are affected by feelings about the ending. Because one of the reasons it works so well for me is SW turning his weakness and suffering into a weapon. That he maintains his agency.

That's a good point! Entirely agreed, that matters A LOT.

[trobadora]

Kunlun looked so affectionate when he said Shen Wei had already repaid his debt many times over! Why is ZYL getting so mad about this now?

AHAHAHA OMG. /o\

[trobadora]

I see it the same way you do, very different!

ZYL stares up at him and gives the very very faintest of nods, like ohhhhhh I get it now, I get all of it, and then he laughs (at their fate and at his former lack of understanding, and the fact that now he knows what Shen Wei meant when he said it).

♥ ♥ ♥

[trobadora]

it’s only possible for an older person to borrow time from someone younger, not the other way around

Oh, I'd entirely forgotten about that!

So glad we don't need to adopt this for the drama, LOL, the Hallows work in mysterious ways however we like them! *g*

Which appears to be what happens with CSZ and GCC. But it's different for Weilan because of the energy corruption

Yes! You know, I'd always believed that SW gets white energy corruption because he cures ZYL's black energy corruption, and I'd wondered about the effects on CSZ from using the Sundial, but somehow I hadn't quite put it all together properly until I wrote that comment above about equivalent exchange. Of course CSZ will be fine and won't have white energy corruption - GCC didn't have black energy corruption! Whatever curing him cost him, it had to be in some ways equivalent to what GCC was suffering from. Duh! *headdesk*

(Which makes me think of Li Qian again, who brought her grandma back to life - so did she give her part of her own lifespan? It would make sense. But then there's clearly more going on with these two, given that Li Qian's grandma ended up as a spirit inside the Sundial at least for a little bit ...)

[china_shop]

♥ ♥ ♥

[china_shop]

I think the one thing that I have specific feelings about is the one I started with - he still looks really sad to me when he says these specific words.

Huh, it doesn't read sad to me, but that's just me. He's definitely having A LOT of feelings.

ZYL is the most confused after he's already super agitated, and I think the only time anything could even be comparable at all is before that.

*nodnodnod* It must help that neither of them is badly hurt in YOHE, and that young!Shen Wei is so trusting.

(Oh, imagine if ZYL had somehow managed to get hurt during that initial YOHE battle! I wonder what that would have done to their dynamic back then...)

[china_shop]

Now I've noticed, I really like it. :D

[china_shop]

Yeah. Although, on consideration, the counterargument is that Zhao Yunlan is Zhao Yunlan, and he rolls with the punches like no other. :-) /today!me questioning former!me's take

[china_shop]

<3 <3 <3

[china_shop]

Of course CSZ will be fine and won't have white energy corruption - GCC didn't have black energy corruption! Whatever curing him cost him, it had to be in some ways equivalent to what GCC was suffering from. Duh!

Ahhhhh, I've never put that together before either. Yes! Excellent point!!

But then there's clearly more going on with these two, given that Li Qian's grandma ended up as a spirit inside the Sundial at least for a little bit ...

Ooh, I wonder if Li Qian's granny tried to sabotage the energy exchange somehow because she didn't want LQ's sacrifice? Maybe that's why she got stuck in the Dial and ended up with dementia?

[facethestrange]

"Oh, imagine if ZYL had somehow managed to get hurt during that initial YOHE battle! I wonder what that would have done to their dynamic back then..."

Oh wow, now I really, really want to read that, I'm gonna need to see if it exists! (As much as it sounds like something I would do, I haven't read every single YOHE fic yet. ;D) I've only seen fics where he gets hurt later, not any where it happens before they even properly meet. That would be SO interesting, and I honestly don't have much of an idea how it would go.

[facethestrange]

"Of course CSZ will be fine and won't have white energy corruption - GCC didn't have black energy corruption! Whatever curing him cost him, it had to be in some ways equivalent to what GCC was suffering from."

Oh, fantastic point, this makes so much sense as an explanation!

[facethestrange]

"Ooh, I wonder if Li Qian's granny tried to sabotage the energy exchange somehow because she didn't want LQ's sacrifice? Maybe that's why she got stuck in the Dial and ended up with dementia?"

Oh ouch, it definitely sounds like something she would do, and it also sounds like something the Dial could do if someone tried to resist it as much as the Dial can be understood at all! (And I admire her willpower - whether it's for this reason or because she just wanted to say goodbye, she managed to make herself into basically-a-ghost in a universe that doesn't really have ghosts. Kudos. :))

[trobadora]

(Oh, imagine if ZYL had somehow managed to get hurt during that initial YOHE battle! I wonder what that would have done to their dynamic back then...)

Huh, that would have been such a different start!

[trobadora]

Yes, same! ♥

[trobadora]

That doesn't mean he doesn't feel things deeply, or that he doesn't worry a lot, though! I mean, just think about what he was like waiting while Shen Wei was in Dixing. And this time, the situation back home is bad and he can do NOTHING about it ...

[trobadora]

Ooh, I wonder if Li Qian's granny tried to sabotage the energy exchange somehow because she didn't want LQ's sacrifice? Maybe that's why she got stuck in the Dial and ended up with dementia?

Ooh, it's an exchange after all, so if one side resists, then ...? That would make so much sense, what a great idea!

[trobadora]

Yay! It only took me six years to put that together, LOL, glad it makes sense to others too. *g*

[china_shop]

Yeah, I feel like Shen Wei would need to take care of him, then, so it would upset their canon dynamic quite a lot. (Which might mean I don't like it as much? But it would be fascinating to see!)

[china_shop]

I actually have a different plan to change their start (which I won't say in case I ever get around to writing it) -- I was thinking more that a ZYL hurt protecting SW would arouse SW's duty and protective instincts, and then ZYL would feel like One More Responsibility on top of all the others, and ZYL would have to work harder to balance things. (But I might not like that, idk.)

[china_shop]

And I admire her willpower - whether it's for this reason or because she just wanted to say goodbye, she managed to make herself into basically-a-ghost in a universe that doesn't really have ghosts.

Yes! And emerged at just the right moment to protect Li Qian. <3 <3 <3

(Maybe she's a kind of energy being like Wang Zheng, but less stable? Energy being are usually made with the Awl, but maybe the Dial jury-rigged something. ;-D)

[china_shop]

I mean, just think about what he was like waiting while Shen Wei was in Dixing. And this time, the situation back home is bad and he can do NOTHING about it ...

Oh, that's true. At least some of his tension while SW was in Dixing was the inactivity. He needed to be doing. And luckily YOHE gives him plenty of things to do and problems to solve. But yeah, you're right. And he just saw WZ & SZ die in front of him -- how could he not be worried and distressed for his team and his city, if not for himself?