Yeah, but IMO it wasn't just what happened with Shen Xi - that's the inciting incident, but every time ZYL is confronted with ZXC's inflexible attitude afterwards, it gets reinforced. So having that changed makes a huge difference. ZYL could have found a way to get to somewhere "less seething and raw", as you put it, earlier, yes - but it would have been a one-sided thing. And I'm not convinced that if ZYL had been less hostile towards ZXC, ZXC wouldn't have taken that as an opening to push him harder on all the places where they disagree ...