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sid_guardian2022-01-22 02:33 pm
eirenical) wrote in sid_guardian2022-01-22 02:33 pm
Entry tags:
Focus On: Da Qing (...and Memory Loss)
Hello, everyone! I'm excited to be posting here for the first time. ^_^ This week I'm going to talk about Da Qing and his issues with memory loss through the course of the series, because following that meandering thread is just... very confusing to me sometimes and I wanted to take some time to try to iron it out a little. (Also, I've tried to format this with cuts so I don't kill everyone's feeds... hopefully it works. OTZ)
To break it down a bit:
1. "Didn't you have Alzheimer's a long time ago?" (ep. 6 ~33:00)
Da Qing: In this world, two people can be so close, but have never seen each other. But maybe one day, they will begin to see each other every day. Destiny is unpredictable.
Zhao Yunlan: Dead Fatty, I never knew that you were a poetic cat.
Da Qing: I don't know how I came up with that. Maybe it was my ex-owner who said that.
Zhao Yunlan: Didn't you have Alzheimer's a long time ago? You don't even remember the name nor the gender of your ex-owner.
Da Qing: Stupid human. This is called the mark of life. Marks don't go away even with memory loss.
(subs from Viki)
In this episode, as Da Qing and Zhao Yunlan arecreeping around investigating Shen Wei's apartment, Zhao Yunlan is surprised that he hasn't run into Shen Wei before now, and Da Qing comes up with this pearl of wisdom about destiny. We find out in the aftermath of this that Da Qing has/had "Alzheimer's". (For the purposes of this discussion, I'm going to assume that ZYL did NOT actually correctly diagnose that and that he just meant "memory loss" and was using the term to tease Da Qing about his age.) Looking back on this moment from later in the series, it's clear that this memory loss must have been pretty severe for Da Qing to have forgotten that Zhao Yunlan WAS his former owner, especially given his comments about this the bond to his owner having to do with a 'mark of life,' not memory. (We never hear about this 'mark of life' again after this point. I wonder if that was how he found Zhao Yunlan to begin with, though. Or was it Destiny or just pure dumb luck? But I digress. ^_^) The point is that at this point in the series, Da Qing remembers nothing about his past other than vague wisps and flashes, if that.
2. "Ex-Chief, I don't know cat language." (ep. 16 ~13:00)
Zhao Xinci: Da Qing, go ask the feral cats nearby if they saw any strange incidents lately.
Da Qing: Ex-chief, I don't know cat language.
Zhao Xinci: Are you kidding? I remember in the 10 years I worked with you, you made some remarkable contributions thanks to your cat language abilities.
(subs by Viki)
Jumping ahead, we get another huge piece of the puzzle: not only does Da Qing not remember his past, but he's lost an entire skillset, too. He's lost his ability to communicate with cats, an entire language base. And I find this particularly fascinating, because this amnesia is starting to seem very... selective. He speaks Mandarin just fine, has no issues communicating in the human tongue. But he can't speak with cats.
Also, he remembers working for Zhao Xinci, remembers his time on the SID team before Zhao Yunlan... but he doesn't remember this one specific part of it? Why this? Why is is this one ability something he lost? Was it less a language and more a magical ability granted to him because he's Yashou? Either way, the fact that he remembers his time as part of Zhao Xinci's SID but doesn't remember one of the crucial skills he used as part of Zhao Xinci's SID team is... odd.
~five minutes later~
Da Qing: As expected, it didn't work. Did I know how to speak cat language before? Why can't I remember at all? I'm forgetting things more and more.
(subs by Viki)
...I'll be honest, I mostly wanted an excuse to post these pictures of a sad Da Qing playing with kittens. ^_~
But again, then thing that gets me here is that this isn't the only time we see Da Qing with a pile of kittens, trying to communicate with them. He seems to have an instinct for finding them and wanting to protect them, to keep them out of trouble when he can. (One wonders if that's how he ended up looking out for Zhao Yunlan when HE was a kitten, but again, I digress. ;D)
The point is... not only did he forget his entire native language, so to speak... but he forgot he ever spoke it to begin with. And that's a really selective and odd sort of way for amnesia to work.
3. Da Ji (ep. 26 ~20:45)
Da Ji: Don't you remember me?
(subs by Viki)
And now we come to the crux of it. Da Ji.
She has skills that Da Qing hasn't displayed up until now: her nine lives, her spectral claws, her increased strength. No idea if she can talk to cats, because she doesn't use that ability, but she may as well be able to.
And now please humor me as I try to piece together a timeline.
Da Ji knew Da Qing before his memory loss. At around the 44:00 mark of this episode, she and Lao Li confirm that Da Qing's severe amnesia began 10 years ago. She knows what happened, so she must have met him prior to that. How much longer before that is never specified, but given the clothing they're wearing and the models of the cars, it can't really have been much longer ago than that. Ten years, if we're being really generous? (...though Dixing had 2000s-style clothing 100 years earlier when Chu Shuzhi was arrested by the Regent, so honestly, who knows? What even is costume and props time placement consistency? OTZ)
THE POINT is that Zhao Yunlan has only been in charge of the SID for a few years, at this point. So some of Da Qing's amnesia much have overlapped his tenure as Zhao Xinci's deputy chief. Hopefully everyone is beginning to see my dilemma here. How is that even possible? Wouldn't Zhao Xinci then have known that Da Qing could no longer speak cat? And how did Da Ji know that Da Qing had even lost his memories, much less in that much detail? If she was there, why didn't she intervene? Even if Da Qing thought she was dead, wouldn't he have been happy to see her, if he remembered her? And if she wasn't there, how did she find out?
(This is why I wanted to talk about this so much; because it honestly drives me a little batty that I can't nail any of this down.)
4. Da Qing Remembers Shen Wei (ep. 26 ~26:15)
Da Qing: "I don't kill for the sake of all humans. If I have to kill, then it's for the sake of the whole world." This is what you said 10,000 years ago, right?
Shen Wei: You still remember it?
Da Qing: I vaguely recalled these words, but I am not sure if I said them correctly.
(subs by Viki)
Before Da Ji ever wakes back up, before Lao Li's confession and Da Qing's second bonk on the head... we have this. (Saved the most feels-ridden for last. ^_~)
Da Qing has been having flashes of memory as regards Ye Olde Haixing for a little while now. He had flashes of Ye Zun. He had flashes of Shen Wei. He had vague memories of things Kunlun may or may not have said, but nothing truly concrete until this moment right here. Thinking he's lost Da Ji, recognizing that his and Shen Wei's responsibility to protect Zhao Yunlan outweighs even his desire to preserve the Cat Tribe and the one other cat yashou he's ever met, has brought a weight to him that usually isn't there. There's a world-weariness to him in this scene as he realizes these things. There's a sadness in his eyes and a heaviness to his movements... but there's a hint of joy there, too. He remembers Shen Wei. From before. And he's the only one who does. He's the only one who can absolve Shen Wei of the guilt he's feeling in this moment... and the loneliness he's felt for longer than that. And Da Qing absolutely doesn't hesitate to give that to him, to share what little he remembers, to reassure Shen Wei that he isn't alone, that neither of them are, that they have each other, and they have Zhao Yunlan, and that that really can be enough for both of them. And damn if this scene doesn't leave me breaking down in tears every time. TT^TT
So. I don't... have an answer here. There's too much of Da Qing's memory loss situation that just doesn't make sense.
But if you'll permit me to step to the side and share a headcanon, then at least I won't leave this post with a big old question mark as its final statement. ^_~
I think Da Qing's amnesia is protective. I don't think it really has anything to do with having been bonked on the head. I think it's his own mind's (...or the Hallows) way of protecting him from the weight of all the years he's lived and the loss that's gone along with it. He may or may not have nine lives, but either way, he's long since outlived the length of 100 of them. He's lost so much, survived so much, and he didn't have the "luxury" of getting to sleep most of it away. So maybe it wasn't the bonk on the head that lost him his memory ten years ago. Maybe it was the loss of Da Ji. And maybe it wasn't the Hallows that lost him his memory 10,000 years ago, but having lost Kunlun and Shen Wei. And maybe as each of them comes back to him, maybe that's what prompts his memory to return, that lets him know it's safe to return.
As Da Ji says in ep. 26, "Smile when happy, scream when sad. That's just how cats are."
And Da Qing has been struggling on some level to stay happy for a very, very long time under a tremendous weight. It's no wonder that sometimes his mind might blank out for a while, just to give him a break so he doesn't break.
Anyway, I'd love to hear everyone else's thoughts on this, because as I said, I definitely don't have an answer here. ^_^
To break it down a bit:
- First mention of Da Qing's memory loss (ep. 6)
- Da Qing's past with Zhao Xinci + lost skills (ep. 16)
- Da Ji (ep. 26)
- Da Qing remembers Shen Wei (ep. 26)
1. "Didn't you have Alzheimer's a long time ago?" (ep. 6 ~33:00)
Da Qing: In this world, two people can be so close, but have never seen each other. But maybe one day, they will begin to see each other every day. Destiny is unpredictable.Zhao Yunlan: Dead Fatty, I never knew that you were a poetic cat.
Da Qing: I don't know how I came up with that. Maybe it was my ex-owner who said that.
Zhao Yunlan: Didn't you have Alzheimer's a long time ago? You don't even remember the name nor the gender of your ex-owner.
Da Qing: Stupid human. This is called the mark of life. Marks don't go away even with memory loss.
(subs from Viki)
In this episode, as Da Qing and Zhao Yunlan are
2. "Ex-Chief, I don't know cat language." (ep. 16 ~13:00)
Zhao Xinci: Da Qing, go ask the feral cats nearby if they saw any strange incidents lately.Da Qing: Ex-chief, I don't know cat language.
Zhao Xinci: Are you kidding? I remember in the 10 years I worked with you, you made some remarkable contributions thanks to your cat language abilities.
(subs by Viki)
Jumping ahead, we get another huge piece of the puzzle: not only does Da Qing not remember his past, but he's lost an entire skillset, too. He's lost his ability to communicate with cats, an entire language base. And I find this particularly fascinating, because this amnesia is starting to seem very... selective. He speaks Mandarin just fine, has no issues communicating in the human tongue. But he can't speak with cats.
Also, he remembers working for Zhao Xinci, remembers his time on the SID team before Zhao Yunlan... but he doesn't remember this one specific part of it? Why this? Why is is this one ability something he lost? Was it less a language and more a magical ability granted to him because he's Yashou? Either way, the fact that he remembers his time as part of Zhao Xinci's SID but doesn't remember one of the crucial skills he used as part of Zhao Xinci's SID team is... odd.
~five minutes later~
Da Qing: As expected, it didn't work. Did I know how to speak cat language before? Why can't I remember at all? I'm forgetting things more and more.(subs by Viki)
...I'll be honest, I mostly wanted an excuse to post these pictures of a sad Da Qing playing with kittens. ^_~
But again, then thing that gets me here is that this isn't the only time we see Da Qing with a pile of kittens, trying to communicate with them. He seems to have an instinct for finding them and wanting to protect them, to keep them out of trouble when he can. (One wonders if that's how he ended up looking out for Zhao Yunlan when HE was a kitten, but again, I digress. ;D)
The point is... not only did he forget his entire native language, so to speak... but he forgot he ever spoke it to begin with. And that's a really selective and odd sort of way for amnesia to work.
3. Da Ji (ep. 26 ~20:45)
Da Ji: Don't you remember me?(subs by Viki)
And now we come to the crux of it. Da Ji.
She has skills that Da Qing hasn't displayed up until now: her nine lives, her spectral claws, her increased strength. No idea if she can talk to cats, because she doesn't use that ability, but she may as well be able to.
And now please humor me as I try to piece together a timeline.
Da Ji knew Da Qing before his memory loss. At around the 44:00 mark of this episode, she and Lao Li confirm that Da Qing's severe amnesia began 10 years ago. She knows what happened, so she must have met him prior to that. How much longer before that is never specified, but given the clothing they're wearing and the models of the cars, it can't really have been much longer ago than that. Ten years, if we're being really generous? (...though Dixing had 2000s-style clothing 100 years earlier when Chu Shuzhi was arrested by the Regent, so honestly, who knows? What even is costume and props time placement consistency? OTZ)
THE POINT is that Zhao Yunlan has only been in charge of the SID for a few years, at this point. So some of Da Qing's amnesia much have overlapped his tenure as Zhao Xinci's deputy chief. Hopefully everyone is beginning to see my dilemma here. How is that even possible? Wouldn't Zhao Xinci then have known that Da Qing could no longer speak cat? And how did Da Ji know that Da Qing had even lost his memories, much less in that much detail? If she was there, why didn't she intervene? Even if Da Qing thought she was dead, wouldn't he have been happy to see her, if he remembered her? And if she wasn't there, how did she find out?
(This is why I wanted to talk about this so much; because it honestly drives me a little batty that I can't nail any of this down.)
4. Da Qing Remembers Shen Wei (ep. 26 ~26:15)
Da Qing: "I don't kill for the sake of all humans. If I have to kill, then it's for the sake of the whole world." This is what you said 10,000 years ago, right?Shen Wei: You still remember it?
Da Qing: I vaguely recalled these words, but I am not sure if I said them correctly.
(subs by Viki)
Before Da Ji ever wakes back up, before Lao Li's confession and Da Qing's second bonk on the head... we have this. (Saved the most feels-ridden for last. ^_~)
Da Qing has been having flashes of memory as regards Ye Olde Haixing for a little while now. He had flashes of Ye Zun. He had flashes of Shen Wei. He had vague memories of things Kunlun may or may not have said, but nothing truly concrete until this moment right here. Thinking he's lost Da Ji, recognizing that his and Shen Wei's responsibility to protect Zhao Yunlan outweighs even his desire to preserve the Cat Tribe and the one other cat yashou he's ever met, has brought a weight to him that usually isn't there. There's a world-weariness to him in this scene as he realizes these things. There's a sadness in his eyes and a heaviness to his movements... but there's a hint of joy there, too. He remembers Shen Wei. From before. And he's the only one who does. He's the only one who can absolve Shen Wei of the guilt he's feeling in this moment... and the loneliness he's felt for longer than that. And Da Qing absolutely doesn't hesitate to give that to him, to share what little he remembers, to reassure Shen Wei that he isn't alone, that neither of them are, that they have each other, and they have Zhao Yunlan, and that that really can be enough for both of them. And damn if this scene doesn't leave me breaking down in tears every time. TT^TT
So. I don't... have an answer here. There's too much of Da Qing's memory loss situation that just doesn't make sense.
But if you'll permit me to step to the side and share a headcanon, then at least I won't leave this post with a big old question mark as its final statement. ^_~
I think Da Qing's amnesia is protective. I don't think it really has anything to do with having been bonked on the head. I think it's his own mind's (...or the Hallows) way of protecting him from the weight of all the years he's lived and the loss that's gone along with it. He may or may not have nine lives, but either way, he's long since outlived the length of 100 of them. He's lost so much, survived so much, and he didn't have the "luxury" of getting to sleep most of it away. So maybe it wasn't the bonk on the head that lost him his memory ten years ago. Maybe it was the loss of Da Ji. And maybe it wasn't the Hallows that lost him his memory 10,000 years ago, but having lost Kunlun and Shen Wei. And maybe as each of them comes back to him, maybe that's what prompts his memory to return, that lets him know it's safe to return.
As Da Ji says in ep. 26, "Smile when happy, scream when sad. That's just how cats are."
And Da Qing has been struggling on some level to stay happy for a very, very long time under a tremendous weight. It's no wonder that sometimes his mind might blank out for a while, just to give him a break so he doesn't break.
Anyway, I'd love to hear everyone else's thoughts on this, because as I said, I definitely don't have an answer here. ^_^