Quick, someone write fic where Guo Changcheng's actual alien parents turn up and ask him what he's learned on this planet! (Give his true form tentacles?)
Yes! It's not even crackfic, there is so much about that boy that needs to be explained. (ok the tentacles are just for fun.)

...I would ask her to marry me and participate in a science experiment to figure out how far her powers extend, perhaps even in that order. *g*
You are going to have to fight me for fem!Ye Zun, sorry. She'd probably find that diverting! Or perhaps we can work out some kind of sharing arrangement? At the very least, I'm gonna need to pet her.

Aw, I just wanted to imagine Ye Zun pausing his torture session to tenderly remove the glasses from gege's face before resuming.
aw sorry. I love that image, though. The glasses do seem to have been placed aside, not just left to lie where they fell, at least?