Someone said once (I don't remember who or where) that Zhang Shi can't have been very present during Zhao Yunlan's childhood because if his father had constantly switched between acting like Zhao Xinci and acting like Zhang Shi, his inconsistent behaviour wouldn't have rung instant alarm bells in Zhao Yunlan's head. Your write-up reminded me of that, and I'm wondering what role Zhang Shi did play in Zhao Yunlan's upbringing. Was he just the silent observer all this time?

My impression is that he really does love his son, but doesn't understand him, and because he didn't understand him, couldn't be an effective parent.

Yeah, I agree that he loves him, but it's not just that he doesn't understand, it's that he doesn't bother to try. He's very sure that he's right, and his son just needs to see that, and there's that. (Ugh.)

and call him "gege" like he's five

I mean, that is approximately Ye Zun's level of emotional maturity ... *g*