No, I think I get that. I'm very influenced in my view of things by the fact that for a long time, ALL the friends I had (casual friends, not pursuing friends) were guys. I was a geek and I was into cowboys and Indians and Arthuriana when I was at high school and I was stuck in a girls' class, so that did not go well for me. Once I got out and to uni, I made friends with guys almost exclusively. (It was only fandom that slowly made me comfortable interacting with women.) So ... I guess I have high tolerance for guy stuff but I also get their insecurities well, and to me personally, Lin Jing always seemed more vulnerable in that relationship than Sha Ya. She just has it so together. And because of that status difference, and him trying so hard, he didn't ping me as bad'n'rong. The way you put it here, I can actually see it! But to me... he was just being a helpless needy puppy.

(I actually think men are lovely but kind of clueless half the time. Poor them.)